There is a significant amount of information dealing on how to control thoughts, negative thoughts, destructive thoughts, etc. It is conspicuous, that most individuals are dealing in one way or another with mental issues.
There was one talk I heard on “Youtube” promising to stop negative thoughts by using a simple “technique,” a “method of self-inquiry” easy to remember.
These talks or books on controlling the mind have “methods,” “techniques,” which are mind constructs. In simple words: Stop your mind by using your mind. It is the battle of dividing the mind into two sides, the “good” controlling mind over the “bad” misbehaving one. Is that fictitious division possible? Only in our minds.
Perhaps many individuals are interested in “easy methods” to stop even for a little while their abusive minds. Yes, we can force ourselves to “remember” something such as a mantra, a phrase, even “God,” and experience that our rush of thoughts, have diminished or stopped. However, such person still has mental issues, those are still unchanged. The mind represented by the “I” is being forced to comply to what it has established itself to be “good,” desirable.
I find the same “methodology,” when men are looking to “improve” their sex performance (last longer.) They may find information in the Taoist tradition or in Tantra; but many are not interested in exploring the extent of those traditions; they just want the “method,” the “technique” for sex right away. That is another characteristic of an ill mind: Forget the process and cut to the bone, for “I” want results now; whereas Life works through gradual natural changes.
Nevertheless, the “I” has found a problem and wants the “solution” now. This practice of forcing an outcome in ourselves without looking at the big picture, is detrimental to our well being.
What is the “big picture”? The mind and sexuality are not isolated manifestations in a human being, there is interrelation. Those changes happen according to the level of consciousness of an individual, what he IS. Those are mere consequences of BEING something thanks to psychological traumas, repressions and violence as such; any self-study, any self-observation and acknowledgement of the whole human experience will bring change.
Otherwise; individuals may find a temporary solution but that is a bandage in a deep wound. Can a disturbed mind find a solution by using that same mind? No.
How not to use the mind then? That question may change our approach. Let us meet Awareness. There is not much that I can say about it, or to define it, but we could try a brief description.
When we become conscious on how our mind moves, what triggers it and how the mind relates with emotions and feelings. Those are “steps” in awareness.
Most do not want to bother with this self-study, but rather want for someone to give them the “answer,” the “technique,” the “method” and follow it, hoping to “solve” the particular issue. At least, that is the theory.
The mind is not an object to be defined. There is nothing concrete about the mind other than the fact that we experience it on a daily basis. I could read a self-help book on how someone dealt with his ill mind, but there are many blanks in that explanation that we will need to discover ourselves. Self-awareness, observation are the main “tools” for that. There are no shortcuts when dealing with our inner world.
If we are not aware, we will totally identify with the contents of the mind, going from “my” mind to finally completely identifying with it, and saying: “I.” It is that small step in identification, the one offering more problems to us.
In my own experience, the best setting to start our own mind observation is Nature. We may need the supporting environment and sensory upliftment brought by Nature. Outside the world of “progress and madness,” we could take our minds away from its dull, repetitive environment and that newness will allow us to sense better what is going on.
Emotions are expressed in our bodies but the mind triggers the recognition; thus emotions are strongly related with the mind. However, feelings are pretty distinct. Take the feeling of joy or peace. Those are states of BEING which are not necessarily related with the mind.
It is in the experience of feelings how the mind could be recognized and left aside.
I discovered benefit in listening to music without lyrics, instrumental music.
That will bring feelings. The mind has no opportunity to enter in the appreciation of music unless we compare, or if we try to explain or describe the sounds through words. Lyrics in music will bring words and consequently, the mind.
Most are so disconnected with actual feeling, believing that they are feeling when in fact it is the mind processing words and describing a feeling to itself to make us believe that we feel. The well known phrase: “I THINK I love you,” speaks for itself. How is love related with thinking? Can the mind ever know what love, a feeling is?
Reasoning kills our feelings. Thus, the mind kills our feelings. Without being able to feel; there is no opportunity to go beyond the mind.