To ejaculate or not … into “sacred” sexuality

Most Humans at this time are out of touch with their sense of “self” but paradoxically, there is selfishness without awareness of it.
No wonder, an opinion from someone else, whether from a “teacher,” a “guru,” a “scientist,” a “priest” etc. becomes the yardstick to measure our own “goodness” or “worthiness.” We live through the perceived acceptance of others rather than through our own experience. Why? Because we want to be “right.” It is that fear the one that will not allow us to OBSERVE.

For those “practicing” “sacred” sexuality, not to ejaculate becomes important. Those who do not practice this, are engaged in “mundane” sexuality, that means the opposite extreme.

For the common man, that desire to become “better” brings its own issues. He IS not ready yet but, the IDEAL becomes important in order to be “right.”
READY means that this person is in a process of dissolution of his own “darkness” or “shadows” or “hang ups,” etc. That is a “spiritual” man. As those emotional burdens clear, then all the internal sexual channels will align and energies will flow with ease. Most, are not aware of this. Most believe that their “success or failure” is in the tip of their penises!

For that “spiritual” man, the question of “ejaculation or not” is of no consequence. Naturally, this man will be able to regulate his sexual energy. He does not need to think or “practice” a technique.
In fact, this man could have as much sex as he wants and ejaculate when he wants. That is what for most is labeled as “mastery.”

It is obvious that a “normal” man will only try to imitate something that he IS not READY. That imitation will not be a source of joy but of worry and guilt.
When a man IS in that state of inner work with his own shadows, then sex IS “sacred,” for this man IS “spiritual.” That is how sexuality and spirituality meet.
Observe the emphasis on “techniques” of those who ARE not there. Observe the hypocrisy of those who believe to have “conquered” their own devils. Sex will show where they are, without a doubt.
The “normal” man may need to ejaculate every time he has sex to feel fulfilled. The “normal” man may need some sort of regulation so he does not deplete himself from his own vitality. The “normal” man may need “practice,” to emulate what he IS not.

When someone joins a spiritual group and he is forbidden to experience sex or to ejaculate, that is the effort to copy some IDEAL that is not truly REAL. The “normal” man IS not there. “Practice” means to add a layer of repression, self-denial and self-righteousness; that is to increase the “shadows” within. That is not “bad,” as long as we are AWARE of what is happening.

In Life, everyone is different and whenever someone gives a concrete “answer” or a “solution,” that person is only reducing the ample spectrum of possibilities. That question whether to ejaculate or not, shouldn’t burden our minds. Become AWARE of the FEELING. How do you feel in the moment, the “now”?

Be your own teacher by learning to be your own student. Listen. OBSERVE. Become AWARE of your own mental games, needs and wants. Acknowledge CHANGE within, so the “answer” given yesterday could be changed into something new today.
The question whether to ejaculate or not, is a mental problem made by those who are more concerned in being “right,” than to learn about themselves.

For those who are AWARE, “mistakes” are necessary steps to learn. But for those who are not aware, “mistakes” are an enhancement of their own silliness.
Observe that “mistakes” could be “good” or “bad” depending on who you ARE. The same is in sex, in love and in Life.
However, in our society; what we DO is deemed more important than who we ARE. That is how dishonesty increases. That is how we copy the actions of others believing that by DOING those, we become the same. That is an illusion.

Acknowledge who you ARE. Learn from it.

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Question: root cause of worrying

“I myself have the habit of worrying and causing anxiety to myself. Can you shed some light on the root cause of worrying and how can I heal myself and bring myself out of it. As you mentioned, first step is observation. Would you discuss more ?”

Thank you for your question.
We have been conditioned to believe that we can deal with Life with a methodology, steps to follow. We are looking for a root cause of things, believing that we can get rid of it, modify it at will, as when we deal with things in our society: To accomplish something in society may require steps; “real” Life does not work that way. Otherwise, psychologists should had provided with “methods” to get out of worries and anxiety long ago, but that is not the case.
Emotions, psyche and any personality “gifts” that we may have and society overvalues or despises, are part of Life. We believe that we are separated from Life and that “I” can make deep changes in “me,” to change things the way “I want.” We need to find out the extent of that belief.
That is the first thing to realize.

The second aspect, is that words do not solve anything. For instance, the root cause of anxiety and worries is an over importance of self, as the center of the Universe. That importance is created in the mind and that “program” drives our memory “chip.” Take away the memory chip and you don’t know who you ARE, then anxiety and worries are no longer there. Can we remove the “chip” at will?

That “understanding” of the “root cause” will not solve the issue of anxiety or worries. Do we see that? However, some people will make themselves unconscious through heavy drinking or the use of drugs or any other “easy fix,” not realizing that all they are DOING is removing that SELF from the picture. The memory chip is temporarily removed in a violent way, with consequences; of course.

Third, when we have a “goal in mind” such as getting rid of anxiety and worries, THAT will not allow us to OBSERVE what IS.

When we OBSERVE what IS without verbalization, without trying to compose paragraphs to explain to others what “I realized,” then; OBSERVATION is happening.

I could feel my shoulders tighten up. The AWARENESS of that feeling in itself, will allow a sudden decompression. I do not have to mentally repeat “ I want to relax” or “my goal is to be relaxed.”
An episode of worries and anxiety comes to your Life. Are you AWARE the moment these things arrive? If you are, then notice the extent of importance that you give to “your” thoughts.

Notice the IDENTIFICATION of those thoughts with “YOU.” Notice how you BELIEVE in those thoughts and how they affect your emotional state into anxiety. Those emotions will feed further creations of thoughts and so on, increasing the “problem.”

If you were fully AWARE, then the grip of these episodes will loosen up, naturally.
In Life everything is gradual for otherwise, it could be violent. Thus, changes when natural; are gradual too.
When we are trapped in the same environment of noise, technology and over thinking, there is very little OBSERVATION that could happen. Even less AWARENESS.

If you remove yourself from that environment and spend sometime in a natural setting, such as the beach or a park (the more rustic, the better) and fall in love with that setting, then when you go back to the noise and “progress” you will be AWARE of the contrast, you will be AWARE of your mood changes and for how long you can remain “sane” before “insanity” arrives.

Thus, OBSERVATION improves when there is a CONTRAST experience.
As you could see, there is no “easy fix.” It is a journey, which you could only share if you are AWARE of the changes. There will be changes as Life is change. That is the guarantee.

You will need to BE your own detective to fully understand what I mean when using here the words OBSERVATION and AWARENESS; I suggest reading articles with those keywords in the search box of this blog. If you feel that I haven’t given a concrete answer to your question, here it is: OBSERVATION / AWARENESS is the cure. Higher doses of it, means a quicker “recovery.”
All the best.

Emotions and our health

Nowadays, bacterias and viruses aren’t the only providers of disease. The quality of our emotions will greatly influence our health.
Different emotions will trigger different chemicals in our body. When we are young, our bodies have the ability to hold on certain emotions, even though detrimental to our health. As we age; the importance of recognizing the flow of emotions in our selves becomes extremely important.

Anxiety, anger, worries, uncertainty, over thinking… all of those “modern diseases” will affect the quality of our health.
Every one of us may have felt these. These emotions are not “bad.” Those emotions need to be allowed to be felt but at the same time, they should be allowed to leave.
This is the key . We are not sponges. We are mirrors and as we self-realize, we become doors and windows.

We have been taught through many years of repressive “spirituality,” that we should not feel certain emotions. That practice will hurt us.

Observe Nature. A duck will fight with another duck. After that event, the duck will flap its wings. Then things will continue as “normal.”
It is true that in our society there are consequences for expressing our anger. There are “acceptable levels,” however; for a seeker it becomes important to OBSERVE the emotional energy going through us and create a “space” and effectively, disassociate from that energy.

For instance, in dealing with certain personalities, it may be important to show our anger. Nevertheless, our “liver” should not pay the consequences and our mind should not take that episode for the next day or week or month or year, unable to let go.
Things happen. It is a “now” thing. Afterwards, it is a different reality altogether.

When we are not OBSERVANT of the build up of emotions, we will identify with them, we will believe that “I AM ANGER,” “I was angry,” “You made me angry” we say rather than, “I FELT ANGER.” As it is felt, it goes away.
Flap your wings and let it go.
For many individuals, it is hard to eat after an episode of anger. If they eat, their stomach will feel upset. Others, are capable of enjoying their meals right after an episode of anger.

What is the difference?
The level of IDENTIFICATION. How much our mind recites the incidents? For how long? That is what we may need to be AWARE of, to OBSERVE in ourselves.
As we master this “skill,” there will be a level of energy “regulation” built in. This will arrive as we OBSERVE every episode in our lives rather than repress or label that as “this is good or this is bad.”

It is of paramount importance to learn to OBSERVE ourselves as if we were following someone else: We will notice movements, emotions, triggers, ego and we can contrast that with the certainty that Life is a game, for sooner or later; Life only reflects back our beliefs. Would you rather play or worry?
In Life, nothing lasts forever. That is a “good” thing.

Life perspectives

A perspective in Life is only a basic view. Perspectives are typically upgraded with labels such as: Law, truth, reality, etc.
Those absolute labels are meant to enhance a perception. The observation of this, is crucial to at least understand with some depth what Life offers and what is tainted through our “knowledge.”

There is a painting in my living room. My location is at one side of it, very close. Am I at the left side or the right side of the painting? That is yet another point of view. Once we select a point of reference such as “me,” I could say that it is on my left side. That is not “reality,” but a perspective.
I could argue that because I am very close to the painting I could see the “reality” of it. That is yet another point of view.
Life is exactly like that painting. We give the meaning based solely in our perspectives, which in turn depend on our conditioning, that is; we are taught to see things in a particular way.

The above is very deep. De-conditioning is around the corner.
Most religions and philosophies thrive in duality, which is a perspective. “That painting is too bright.” That qualification is based on the experience of something dark. The painting just IS. We try to explain it, conceptualize it, add reasons so it makes sense to our conditioned way to see Life; through the veil of “reasoning.”

Who created the painting? That question only shows our conditioning to look for responsible ones, the origin; not realizing that our “reasoning” is taking us to a wild chase of shadows.
Yes, in our “reality” a painting needs to have a painter as the origin, but who created the painter? How far back could we go before we throw an unreasonable “reason”? Just enjoy the picture.
Life is not a painting. Although our perspectives will make it exactly like a painting. Just enjoy the picture.
Paradoxical? Yes and No. Intellectually, yes. In “reality,” No. Just enjoy the picture.

LIFE IS. BEING is its meaning, its “purpose.” We add “good” and “bad.” We create religions and societies based on some artificial distinction, which later will be labeled as “moral,” “godly path,” etc. and its counterpart will be the immoral, the path of the sinner… Self-righteousness is “created” and with that, guilt. Those “creations” have utility in our society, but very artificial.

To live in our society with the “concept” of non-duality is not only impossible. It is silly. Those living in the mind, those who are looking for logical “reasons,” will not be able to “practice it.”
Create a “good” ideology. It sounds good. For instance, let me label it “democracy.” Sell the label to the masses. Have you tried to “practice” democracy? See how our society is failing to “practice” it. Want to create socialism? Practice will destroy it. It will corrupt it. However, in the world of “theories” it sounds pretty good. It is just a matter to “enforce” things… Violence.

Why is that? Why is it, that we cannot put in practice what we preach?
Simple. We ARE NOT what we preach. A cat cannot be a dog, even if the cat “practices” to wag its tail and takes barking lessons… But the “effort” of the cat to become a dog, is the source of many lucrative ventures. Good for the economy! Bottom line in our “reality.”

Theory has always been more desirable than practice, in “reality.”

The art of sleeping to be aware

Sleep is of paramount importance for our well-being, however; many will live life without the experience of proper rest.

There are the classic “tips,” like going to bed early, or disconnecting from computers, phones and TV a couple hours before sleeping, or even not to eat too late, etc. Those are “good” tips for most individuals (especially to shut down electronic devices.) Many will take a pill to snooze fast and will go along with the consequences of secondary effects. Nevertheless, there are suggestions that may be needed for other types of people.

In my years as a “seeker,” I used to wake up before 4 am to meditate for 45 minutes every morning. This practice has great benefits if and only if, we get a good sleep the night before. This reduced my sleeping time from 8 hours to 6 or less. I used to take a nap in the afternoon as well but, there were times when I was very tired from lack of sleep.

Even though our society considers that 8 hours of sleep is needed to recover properly, there are different sleeping needs as there are humans. Those needs will change in everyone, as we age in Life.

Sleeping is not a matter of quantity, but on how profound we let go of that which we call “I.”  That is not “quality” but depth. “Sleeping like a baby,” happens when we become babies.
When we dissolve that consciousness of “I” with its perceived problems, and allow ourselves to disappear into the Totality, we will sleep very well, profound, even if for 3 hours.
As we become more sensible to other energies surrounding our environment, we may be susceptible to noises at the gross level or to energies around our bedroom, at the subtle level.

If there are noises caused outside and there is nothing we could do to stop it, we could integrate with that rather than reject it. If we reject, we will trigger heightened emotionality inside us. Our mind will go on with insults, complaints, ways to get even, etc. That will produce in turn, wakefulness of the “I.” An empty mind is helpful to avoid heightened emotionality.

Integration is not a “practice.” Animals will do it naturally in their environment despite their very sensitive senses. They are able to rest.

At the subtle level, there are many energies around our bedroom. Those energies sometimes interfere with proper sleep. For instance, sex is energy and there are subtle entities feeding on that as there is a continuous interchange with the environment. Also, if the bedroom is used for anything else but to sleep and to have sex with a loved one; then this “sacred” space is polluted at the subtle level and we will have difficulties to fall sleep. One way of cleaning is through the use of harmonious sounds. I use a “Tibetan singing bowl.”
This sound needs to be applied in all 4 corners of the bedroom (subtle energies prefer to dwell in the corners,) from the floor to the ceiling. Standing, hold the bowl and then bend over near the floor to play the bowl with the mallet and as the sound starts, raise the bowl as high as you can go towards the ceiling. This “practice” has worked for me very well. Here is an easy one to try: Change your position in your bed. Place your head where normally your feet are located for a couple of days. This is another  practice that has worked for me.

The art of sleeping well, requires from us to let go of our personality. Many individuals fearing death may have a hard time sleeping well, for the “I” fears to lose control of its own existence.
Crowded cities present a sleeping problem. Buildings and apartment complexes are too close together and subtle energies do not know about limiting walls. Many times, it may not be “us” but others.

As we get closer to Nature and its rhythms, then balance reappears.

On “getting old” and old age

The conditioning is in the perception that it is “ME,” the one “getting old.” Some will share this perspective by complaining about it: Decline in physical abilities, diseases, etc. Others will talk about the “beautiful aspects of getting old.” Today, there will be new perspectives.
The first one is the perspective of the “I.”
“I” was a baby, “I” will return to that stage.
“Getting old” is the way that Life has to take us to our beginning in this lifetime. Physically, a baby is as unprotected as an old person is. Although, the body cannot shrink back to a baby’s size; the body becomes feeble, walking becomes a new experience as we age. Therefore, to be childlike is the characteristic of someone who is becoming harmoniously older.
Do we notice that?

Of course, there are others whose mind relentless demand to be the “same.” That insanity will take the person into desperation, bitterness and an unpleasant experience. For instance, a father who is old enough to be a grandfather (or a small child) who still believes to be the “boss in the house.” Even though his mental abilities have declined, his pride (ego) will demand the same responsibilities that he once had.

Have we noticed how the “young look” may not work for many individuals who try all sort of cosmetic help? It comes a time, when it is not harmonious. Our character dictates how pleasant our face is in later years.
We are born as babies. We should go back as babies before we die. That is the cycle of Life. Our perception is to call the stage of “going back” as “old.”
The majority could observe all of the above, as most are aware of the perception of the “I.”

A less frequent perception, is when there is no identification with an “I.” There is no “old age” there. Who is “old”? “I.” Without that, there is only NOW.
“Look at this old picture. Look what everyone is saying.” It is in the perception of the majority, how we feel identified. There is no old age but only in comparison, when the mind is used to compare the “before” and “after.”

Every day is a new experience. Every day is a new “I.” That “I” has static memories, which no longer exist. It is the past. Bodies change all the time, and so experiences and personality. Everything is bound to change! However, our names may remain the same and our memory through the mind, brings the idea of a static self.

No matter what perception we take about “old age,” we will need to recognize that there is nothing static, nothing permanent, nothing that we could hold on; no matter how hard we “work on,” or how much effort we put into.

We are already flowing in Life, but our minds are painting a static, unchangeable picture, which is responsible for our sour taste of feeling powerless to change things our way; what we think it “should be.” That wall of beliefs will hit the reality of change. That wall is meant to separate. It is that feeling of separation constantly nagging us to look for meaning.

Our “old age” is not the time to search for meaning in Life or look for “salvation.” It is the time to enjoy the freedom of naturally losing the rigidity of our mind. That is not a small thing in our mind-based society.

Less mind means greater capacity for enjoyment in Life.

The value of a disease in our lives

A Disease appearing out of living life is a “stop” sign. We could stop, watch the road in all directions and choose the one more suitable for us. Without this opportunity, we will go in automatic pilot, while daydreaming. Just like driving a car through the same roads. The “same old thing” will occur.

We could perceive that same disease in many other ways. After all, it is just a matter of perspective. WHAT IS, IS. We try to make sense of it, explain it, come up with a “reason,” etc.
We have been trained to “fight it” as if that was an enemy. That idea that anything that happens to us against our will or conditioning is “bad,” is so detrimental.

An athlete could have a disease that may stop his “achievements.” Nevertheless, Life is not concerned with that human idea. Our bodies are not designed for “performances,” although our society has made that idea, something to live by.
A “normal” person developing a disease may feel an inconvenience; something is getting in his way. Something to “win” the “fight” is needed, to get rid of the thing without further thought.

Very few will look into that disease as something to learn from. Undoing what we have done in Life, may take sometime, but we will learn a valuable experience once we dive into the underlying cause of such “stop sign” in our lives. Look beyond the physical aspect. Look into the emotional aspects.

We could choose to ignore the signs. We could choose to cover it as we do with many other things in Life, but sooner or later it will resurface and to undo what has been done, will take longer to heal naturally.
At the end of the day, duration of the “stop sign” is in direct proportion to our awareness.

Life is so full of variety even if we live in the same place for over 50 years. However, our conditioning make it so dull and tasteless, even with great entertainment.
Life is a symphony made of harmony. That harmony is without explanation or methodology. When we walk away from that synchronicity, a “stop sign” will appear in our path. Health is another movement of harmony in Life. It doesn’t happen because we have a strong will or because we read a lot. It is not the product of our reasoning.
Health is a state of equilibrium, which calls to redefine ourselves during our Lifetime. Today “I am this.” Tomorrow, “I am something else.” (present tense)

Note that I am not saying “ I will be something else,” (future tense) for that is only a creation of our conditioned mind. What I will be tomorrow, will happen tomorrow. That brings acceptance and faith in our destiny.

Acceptance is inner health.
To fight in Life for what we want, may sound good to get a job or in our next speech for an office; but in the greater view of Life, it only means our inability to integrate with Life by supporting the increase of the size of our ego. That mental construct (ego) does not exist, yet we make it so real. That sounds like a mental disease. We may need to be aware of it.