To the Question: Can we Conquer lust and sexual desires? (For non-BKs), part of the answer was : [MAY 27, 2012]
“Sex lust is related with looks and not beauty. Lust can be conquered. When it is not understood running away and closing doors is preached to avoid temptations. When it is understood, there is no need to run away from it. Just like people are afraid of a big tiger whenever it comes, someone who is willing to spend sometime with that tiger in a loving manner can become that tiger’s friend. Conquering sex lust seems like being able to caress the belly of that big tiger. Trust needs to be build up with the tiger, a sense of balance of energies needs to be developed continuously; otherwise that tiger can turn around and eat up the person.”
1. How to build trust with the tiger ?
2. When you are talking of balancing of energies, are you referring to the balancing of the Chakras? Is there a specific method of balancing the energies ?
Thank you for your well elaborated question. I will be glad to answer.
First, what I am sharing is based on my own experience. That writing like 99% of the things here are just my own experience in gyan.
As you may gather, that tiger is already in us. It is a sanskar. What I found to be detrimental while learning about sex lust in me, was the idea of separation between my “good side,” and my “bad side.” There is no need to divide and make yourself an emotionally dysfunctional person. There is no need to deny what is already there. Accept it as it is.
That is acceptance of that tiger of lust just as it is. No labels. Then, you can learn from it. Then you can begin to understand how it works in you.
You see, without this important step, we will be cheerfully denying what it is to replace that with an imagined “higher self.” That imagination will crumble as soon as a test comes in our life. We will give in to it, because it was a faked story and even though we craved to experience sex lust, we denied it.
I have no issues in sharing what I have learned as long as there is a question which relates with my own experience, there will be an answer.
Once you are open to see that “tiger” in action. You will learn about the triggers of that. You are learning about yourself.
Gyan always talks about love being everything. Love to the self is the most important part of it. Love is a feeling, we MUST RE-LEARN TO FEEL LOVE. It is funny, but even though we are love, we have forgotten about it. To develop the feelings coming from the heart “chakra” is of paramount importance in spirituality. You could find your own way on this, there is no “THE METHOD.” We are all different. I had my own “method” which life provided to me according to my needs.
That ‘loving yourself’ is the first step to understand rather than deny.
If you are a BK, the experience of yoga such as super-sensuous joy or sweet silence or solitude will enhance those feelings by itself. That brings inner understanding without knowing a “method.”
If you are a BK or if you are not a BK, both could benefit from the following practice.
Make yourself wholesome with the opposite but complementary energy in yourself. See what is attractive to you about others and develop that quality in yourself. If you are a male see what is it what you find attractive about females and develop that trait in you.
Note that we are not talking about physical things, how a person looks. That does not last. It is just a first impression and fades away easily. If you are reading this, I hope that you are beyond that first “baby step.” There is something in the personality of another which we find attractive. “A magnetic personality.” That is what I meant about developing in yourself. Paradoxically, if you are attracted is because you have it within you. No one looks for something which they do not have.
You are looking for someone whose particular traits will complement you.
This is what I call “being like Vishnu,” which is not homosexuality by any means, but the acknowledgement through gyan that we have inside us the traits of a male and female energies.
Acceptance through knowledge. That is the first step to balance energies inside ourselves.
Others are just mirrors. They will show us who we truly are.
We need to remember that we are going from sex-lust to love. We can only love truly, when we are complete, wholesome. Otherwise, our neediness to be complemented by “taking” through sexual violence or by emotional violence to another will be experienced and called “love.”
Balancing the “Chakra system” does not mean to go to a healer who will make our chakras “balanced.”
It is a journey which is explained here:
If you have further questions about this, feel free to ask.