Question: Dear Brother ,In our relationships though good ,still we find we are at times made to feel unworthy indirectly, the other persons praises themselves in such a way that the message is sent to us. Though I understand that its their ego or more of thier own bodyconsciousness but i find same is come into me bcoz after some time i get into negative thinking ,no good feelings for that soul. sometimes resentment and sometimes distancing.This is going on like a war. Please share some good tips to handle these situations .How much and what particular effort is required .

Thank you for your good question!

Dear soul, At this time is very difficult to have a relationship with a human being at the “same level.” What you will find is that one person “pursues” the other and will do anything to keep that person content or happy even lowering their own self respect. On the other hand, the other person will play the “critic” part: You are not good enough. Something is missing. Something needs to change. You are not making him/her happy.etc.

It is this basic “set up,” in relationships nowadays that make our lives difficult. Therefore, there are 2 “yukties” (methods) which BapDada has already given us.
1) Tolerance: This is from last Sunday avyakt Murli (11-4-12) where BapDada asked us to tolerate because He is asking that as our “normal” behavior from us. However, that should be to tolerate out of love for BapDada. This also goes nicely with today’s Baba’s definition on a relationship with God: “A relationship with One means a stable mind which does not wander.” In the case that you are explaining, the “wandering” are the “feelings” that you experience. Along with this comes “self-respect.” Your value as a human being does not depend on whatever someone says or thinks about you. This is why BapDada continually praises us. Our self respect needs a “boost,” but that is based on knowledge.

2) The practical tip is to see everyone as you would see a 5 year old child. That is “change your vision.” When that 5 year old tells you something or even kicks you, you will not be hurt by those activities. When you change that vision then you will not feel affected. Changing this vision is not “visualizing,” but it is understanding about the ego needs of the soul and limited spiritual awakening. This is not meant for you to feel “superior,” but to feel at ease with an expected and typical behavior of a person at this time. They just behave like spoiled children sometimes… 🙂

Best wishes! 🙂

One comment

  1. rajji

    Om Shanti, explanation is very impressive and worth practicing. And when being in such a relationship makes you or the other party upset, may be it is a time to end with it. Someone has rightly said “to respect the dignity of a relationship means also accepting the end when it comes”.


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