Question: Recently I have been meditating so deeply and trying hard to find answers why often certain negative thoughts comes through my mind and it leads me to feed that thoughts and it penetrates through my thoughts and my action. For example” if a person stop calling me I would assume…. well my mind will create a scenario that maybe this person is mad at me or don’t want to talk to me anymore, but in reality that person is just really busy. The result is i would stop the communication to this person because my mind said that that was happened. And it leads me to become sad. With this kind of thinking I cut loose a lot of friends in my life. But then again they never contacted me either. Is it my sankars? That I have to clear my thoughts and my mind and not let any negative thoughts affect me. How can I be strong to face this kind of situation.
Thank you for your great question!
What you are experiencing, I am sure many have. In the example that you gave, note that the problem will arise only if you “value” that particular relationship more than the rest. If someone does not call you, you feel hurt (ego) and in response to that the mind creates many scenarios depending on how you feel about that person. The scenarios are based on the “sanskara” of the day: worry, anger, jealousy, etc.
The issue is that we have expectations about others. When those expectations are not met, then our mind expresses that suffering through “scenarios.” Instant karma.
Therefore, see that ego, that personality; surrounds itself with expectations according to how you view yourself (self respect.) The mind basically expresses ego. It is self suffering. That is what we call a karmic account, but it is based on a sanskara of neediness and expectations.
To change that, in the case of the example; you may want to experiment being “alone,” by yourself and comfortable with that. Watch yourself so you do not create any expectations about anyone, change will happen by itself in due time.
You will notice that in every “ramification of the self,” which in your example are relationships; the main ingredient is to be at ease with you. As long as you feel at peace with just you; neediness to be around people will not be there. In fact, one of the greatest teachings that any spiritual person may want to try, is to live by himself/herself without further contact with others, to be “self-reliant,” in every way. Once you are comfortable here, you will see how life will present you the “opposite” so you can find a balanced life.
The alternative as you know, is a high doses of yoga, so those sanskaras could be submerged;however, it is important to note that a submerged sanskara through yoga, may reappear again, unless it is that deep, volcanic yoga. On the other hand, the solution above (being at ease by yourself) will create a sanskara that will replace the one in neediness, thus; this type of experience is more permanent but it takes time…thus, the solution is to do both at the same time.
Finally, do not assume that your mind knows the answer. Do not assume anything about others. Do not feel “bad” because they do not call you. See that life is training you to go over that hump and your mind will be at ease….
Thank you very much avyakt7, for your kind response to my post in this blog.
I recollect the sayings of Sri Ramchandra in his book on REALITY AT DAWN quote:
“A Guru must, therefore, necessarily be quite devoid of any personal motive or selfish interest. He must be totally free from all feelings of pride or greatness. He must be a selfless man and a true servant of humanity at large, teaching people out of pure love without any ulterior selfish motive of name, fame or money. He must have his access up to the farthest possible limit and must have the power of Yogic transmission. Such a man we must seek for, as our guide if we want complete success. It is better to remain without a Guru all the life than to submit to the guidance of an unworthy Guru”.
He has also stated that earnest prayer to God for such a Master(guru) will bring him to the door step of such seeker. Now I feel that, I have found such a SOUL, and I seek guidance on matters where I feel I am at cross roads, from you for necessary enlightenment, so that it helps me in elevating myself and finding answers, in my search for the REALITY AT DWAN.
Thank you for your kind words. Life has taught me that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Note that culturally you have been trained to find a Guru for spiritual/ day to day issues. For me, it has always been about close friendship. I value the viewpoints of very close friends of mine. They are very few in number. That is where I get the “enlightenment” if I do not see something. The beauty of a friend is that they do not have any agenda. They do not represent a particular group, a particular philosophy, a particular religion. That has been my view on God and the teachings of BapDada. The answers are there and many times other avenues allow me to understand those answers better.
Therefore, by becoming a student, the right teacher will appear automatically. He may not be sitting on lotus position, he may not wear a Guru robe, but for sure, he /she will be there. As your consciousness so your world.
Thank you avyakt7 for the enlightenment you are providing to the ‘SOULS’ in understanding the ‘GYAN’, relating it to the present day materialistic world. It is my opinion, that if every soul, who ever understands the real gyan and follows it in their day to day activities the creation of ‘STYAYUG’ as told by our SHIV BABA through BRAHMA BABA will be a reality soon. Of course every event is part of the ‘DRAMA’.
Kindly enlighten me on: ‘one of the greatest teachings that any spiritual person may want to try, is to live by himself/herself without further contact with others, to be “self-reliant” ‘
I fully agree with this explanation for application of it to the activities we do in this materialistic world, but I seek enlightenment on the issue of seeking guidance of /contacting a GURU/SADGURU in spiritual matters as “self-reliant” may not lead me any where and I may get struck up where I am.