Question: After observing the self closely, I have realized the two big hurdles in my spiritual journey are dependency and getting influenced. So, whenever I tried to work on it, either I start rejecting other personalities around me or I get flows with them. Baba often says that at this point of time in drama, a human cannot give constant happiness to other human. So, shall we reject the feelings of happiness we getting from others, so that we do not become dependent on that energy to sustain us or let just accept whatever is coming for now without thinking much about it. But, then the problem comes when that feeling changes into neediness and start affecting other things. Why do mind always looking out for someone, once we have found ourselves and God? This sanskaar of dependency is so deep that even after telling the mind to be dependent on God, it keeps pondering out. Your comments and suggestions on it.
Thank you for your great question!
Dear soul,
Rejection of any kind will just hinder our spiritual progress. By rejecting we are giving force to that which we reject. The issue always comes back to our own neediness, our own opinions and our own ideals. There was no point in the cycle when a “human being could give constant happiness to another human.” The issue now is that we are “empty” and we want to get that fulfillment from someone. We even want to fulfill that neediness through God.
Dear soul, This knowledge is the legacy that God has given us. Through that knowledge we can become self sovereign, a master of the self. At that point, there is no more neediness, but then we can share that completeness with others. That is love. If there is someone taking, that is neediness. If there is someone giving, that is ego. It is “Natural” to share as an expression of the self and not as a self imposed duty because it is “good.”
What you are experiencing is a sign of honest progress. That is the realization of our own neediness. Finding God does not mean that everything “will be alright,” it means that it is the time to start working on the self so we can become “Like the Father.” Not a dependent being.
In my experience, solitude is the best medicine. Until we are not content with our own company, alone; we will be longing for others. Not everyone will be able to go through that, but in my experience; that has helped a lot to realize the “dependency game.” In that space sit down, go beyond thoughts of our silly mind, go even beyond our own feelings and recognize that which is complete, your own self. Then changes will happen naturally, for you have to find the source of your own completeness. You are already complete. A soul just like God, but surrounded by the clouds of thoughts and emotions while living in sheer unconsciousness. We need to awake. That is what the BK path is for.
One last point; “telling the mind something,” will not do anything. Telling ourselves something, will not do anything. There has to be will power on wanting to know the self despite the outside distractions. We already know God, right? and God has giving us this knowledge. Now we have to put it in practice, that is know the self by experiencing it; then the job will be done.
As you can see, knowing God is not enough. It is the beginning of the journey.
Best wishes!
Exploring the Depth of Living 