thank u brother for ur excellent explanation.it helps me a lot..brother pls will u clarify what is the difference between myself and my ego or individuality.i can not realise it.as when i meditate upon myself i feel myself only a point of light,totally detached from body and roles.bt when i come to daily works.even if i keep on remembering myself and baba.still i know i am doing or i am thinking or i feel.who is that i?baba has said to leave “meipon” and “merapon” and to surrender to Him.i can’t realise as when in yog i feel light with a sense of nothingness bt whenever i come to work and relationship i feel the burdens.i play my roles being detached observer bt then i become so much indifferent to my roles and all of these things that i become confused .i cant realise then that why i am playing this role or what is the need of myself to be here and to play role unneccessarily whereas i like that nirakari stage so much.i know that this type of disinterest in lowkik life will prove detrimental to my lowkik life and again any interest in lowkik life will create obstacle in my spiritual path – pls suggest me brother what i should do?how to balance.thanks in advance.
Thank you for your great question?
You are not asking an easy question here. Balance is not created by “thought,” it is a consequence of flowing easily with life, accepting life and moving in the same direction.
If ego could be described by words, then it could be defined… and then I could tell you, “the self is everything else which is not the definition of ego.” But it is not like that. It is not about words.
BapDada has given the example of the “Lotus flower,” that is to be “in the world but not of the world.” That is balance as long as you are not trying to use “thought” to figure out, to interpret what He is saying. Just feel it without interpretation.
Sitting in meditation is giving us an experience of the self through the “method” of remembering Baba. There is an experience of peace and bliss (ananda,) those are great experiences to have, but their importance is in recognizing the self, the “I am a soul,” without the repetitive theory of only saying words, that is; another thought.
BapDada talks about “being absorbed” in love, in remembrance; in other words, that experience that you had while sitting, should come with you while “walking and moving around.”
However, what we experience is the obstacle of our own thoughts. We can call that karma or sanskaras, but they manifest in thoughts ultimately. That is, with thoughts we either react with attraction, repulsion or indifference. Many BK souls feel that to be a “detached observer” is to manifest indifference, but as we can find out; this indifference is just a thought, just the mind telling us “how we should behave.”
Therefore, the issue is the mind. Once we are able to go beyond thoughts in our daily life; we discover the “self,” that soul which you are experiencing in your meditations. A thought which brings content so there is identification with it, attachment to it, is ego. This matter becomes even more subtle to identify, for our language (many times we think with words or hear a voice speaking to us, the “little guy”) enhances the idea of ego as well.
If I say: “It is raining.” Many times, I have automatically separated “myself” from “rain.” That separation is ego if we feel it, if we identify that way. Without the identification, there is no ego; it becomes just talk, a description.
BapDada’s method is evident when He says: “Everything is the Father in your life.” BapDada is using the “glue” of love for that, so we “lose” we “surrender” our separation with everything else, (which is ego) by being “merged with Baba.” That could be a thought or a feeling or both. The bottom line is to lose that separation from everything which accentuates ego.
However, the trick is not to use thought to feel “I am beyond thoughts now.” Then, I think: “I am a soul, I have no thoughts.” When in fact to say that in our minds…is another thought! See?
It just has to happen. You are absorbed without “thinking about it.” You are part of everything. Then, we will act “right” because it will be according to the Drama, flowing with the Drama and not because of a “thought of righteousness” created by “me.”
Therefore, “subject and object” has to go away. That is “I and the world” go away. That is we become “ego-less.” At this point, we could become “free” of everything to become “free” for becoming a Godly “instrument.”