Depression and Loneliness in the Spiritual life
That is the word which describes depression and the feeling of being alone.
That separation could come through a comparison: “I have not achieved anything in life. I am worthless.” That is a comparison between the “I” from now and the “I” who should have been in “my” mind based on the teachings/standards of our society.
That thought arising without being checked, will damage our being. Our emotions will come to help deepen those thoughts, then we could feel a profound apathy which will lead us into carelessness.
“Today I don’t feel like taking care of myself. No cooking. No fun. I am alone in this life.”
Unless there is a chemical imbalance triggering a depression; most depressions are basically coming when there is this sensation of something lacking, something necessary to feel satisfied in this moment. That sensation creates a separation.
There is a “Me,” calling for attention. The “poor Me.”
The “poor Me” syndrome brings ego to the highest. Ego is not only to feel like the “top dog” but also and perhaps more damaging, to feel like the lowest being on Earth.
The greater is our ego, the greater will be the experience of suffering.
Even though, “I” exist in relationship; the concept continually stressed is that “I” am “individual,” thus; that concept which was learned someplace; comes to perform the magical act of separation.
When this separation happens, the sense of communion or “common-union,” with everything that exists; dies in such a way that our feelings become completely shut down.
Without feelings but just with thoughts and emotions, we cannot be merged into every second of life. We cannot live life as functioning human beings but simply as lonely machines looking for self gratification of the senses.
In that world of emptiness; pleasure is all there is to fulfill the senses and to feel some sort of gratification, which will be then called “happiness.” Happiness becomes a moment, an instant. A climax. The rest is something just to put up with.
If your spiritual life leads you to live alone; to be surrounded by 4 walls and to come home to hear your own internal voice; please don’t take it as punishment; but as the opportunity for that ego to dissolve.
Loneliness is ego in disguise.
The need to be with someone, to relate with someone to call “yours,” is just ego trying to live with the thought of possessing someone. We can share love, our time; but to try to possess someone under the name of “love” is one of the most spread out mental diseases. Almost like the flu.
If you have the courage to observe and at the same time to learn to relate with everything around you; there is the opportunity to discover that Nature is alive and has so much to share through its sounds and colors that we could learn and feel more about oneness as long as there is emptiness in us.
That emptiness appears when ego dies.
A person experiencing that healing emptiness cannot have depressing thoughts. That individual cannot feel alone.
When we become merged in that communion with everything else, when we learn that whatever is happening to “me” is not that important; when we learn to laugh about our “silly” selves; then we have created that space for the sounds and clarity of Nature to heal us.
That healing is the beginning of a honest smile in our outlook of life.
Then, life appears again… slowly.
This came at the right time for me–I feel so elated. Baba knows what goes in his children, and used you PERFECTLY. I think I benefited more than the one who originally asked this question!!!