Possibly this is the duality which most could be familiar with, because we are living this duality throughout our lives. From this understanding based on experience and not on a conceptual definition, we could understand dualistic thinking.
Are there any differences between man and woman? This question already has set up dualism in it, so the answer could be dualistic: Yes or No. This is the type of answer sought by talk shows to create polemical debates.
When we look at someone without those labels which only create differences between human beings, we are a step forward. It is true that from the majority, their view on someone will be dualistic: “You are this. I am that. There is a difference. I will treat you and perceive you based on that difference.” However, their view on you should not affect what you feel about them. This is to live in the reality of “now” and not in a conceptual world of yesterday, made by artificial traditions, beliefs and such.
There is no difference between man and woman, but there is. Can we live with that? Man and Woman are human beings with complementary energies. That is all. Just as day and night.
That energy is not related with the way the body looks or functions. That is why there is homosexuality and in that realm, there is still male energy and female energy.
That variety of complementary energies is shown in animals and plants: There is asexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. There is a range.
Similarly is with human beings. What is the sense on labeling that variety as “good or bad” if it is the way it is?
Acceptance of what is will give us the openness to feel oneness. Rejection of what is based on “moral” codes, beliefs, traditions, etc. will surely destroy our possibility to perceive totality, wholesomeness and harmonious balance.
When there is a magnet with a positive polarity near a magnet with negative polarity, there will be a strong attraction of those 2 magnets. That force of attraction will make those 2 magnets crash with a force which is proportional to their magnetic,”attractive” intensity.
The same is with human beings. Many will “hit” one another and find out later the consequences of it.
When a human being, has not explored the male and female side in them, there will be a tremendous neediness for the other side. Their “opposite side.” Everyone is looking to be complete. That completeness comes according to their own nature. Thus, it is important to explore in ourselves and find out what is our nature, our role in life.
For some, it may be to live with a partner, for others there is no need for it, and yet others may find anything in between.
Different needs, Different nature. There is variety.
Please see the importance of first balancing our own polarity within ourselves to be become wholesome within ourselves. Then this wholesomeness could be shared in relationship, thus making a greater unity.
However, in reality this rarely will happen, because there is no such inner observation.
If our polarity is strong in one side, we will search without doubt to find our other “half.” That search could be detrimental when neediness is the instigator of that search.
This is why, some religions advocate the complete separation between male and female energies as a way to find God. Please be aware, that this is just a tool to reform the self which needs to find their other half within themselves first, to become a complete unity by balancing inner energies. Nevertheless, when this method is not understood, there will be rejection towards the other side. With that rejection will come an inner fight, for the need to meet our other “half” will be there.
No matter what we do or think. We cannot lie to ourselves for too long.
A person suppressing his “natural” need for the pursue of an ideal, will experience many inner fights of emotional nature until that need is either expressed (which will happen as an emotional explosion due to repressing ) or that repressed energy will end our well-being through an emotional, psychological or physical disease.
On the contrary, those who have not found their own unity, even though they may find a partner in their lives; will experience the sensation that something is missing. This could translate in a continuous search and disappointments, for there is no one who can give us something that we do not have.
That is the mirage.
When that unity is found within the self, which expresses as being self-sufficient, self-reliant and having self-respect out of acceptance of all, and not out of rejection of all, then that person is ready to expand that self into a “bigger” self, that is a relationship. In that experience of unity beyond the boundaries of the self, is when the male and female energies are complementary of each other.
In the realm of metaphysical “new age,” there is the talk about “soul mates” and also about “twin flames.”
A “soul mate” being any relationship which had a strong influence in our many lives, which is the product of karma. On the other hand, the “twin flame” is depicted as that relationship where harmonious “unity” is felt. It is said to be the first relationship someone had as a couple in their first incarnation, which later on due to karmic accounts, that relationship had a gap of many lifetimes without that “other half.”
It is also mentioned, that for this meeting to happen again, those karmic bondages which initiated that separation need to be clear. Thus, a relationship with a “twin flame” is something that could only occur when there has been spiritual work which will allow that full recognition. The purpose of a “twin flame” relationship is not to experience romantic love, but to experience unconditional healing love that will allow further spiritual progress and to radiate that expression onto other human beings.
Here a link to recognize a “false twin-flame.” 🙂
The above belief could have some “truth” in it. However, the main point is that without that inner work to find unity within the self, there is not a chance to experience anything further. The “normal” realm is all there is then and that realm comes with all the “normal” problems and issues that we hear about all the time.
A Divine relationship is not made on Earth for self fulfillment, but it is made in “Heaven,” as an aid to progress on the spiritual path, for in that state of consciousness, unity is all there is.