Spirituality, Sexuality and Honesty


“Unless the mind, body, and spirit are equally developed and fully integrated, no spiritual peak or state of enlightenment can be sustained. This is why extremist religions and ideologies do not bear fruit. When the mind and spirit are forced into unnatural austerities or adherence to external dogmas, the body grows sick and weak and becomes a traitor to the whole being. When the body is emphasized to the exclusion of the mind and spirit, they become like trapped snakes: frantic, explosive, and poisonous to one’s person. All such imbalances inevitably lead to exhaustion and expiration of the life force. True self-cultivation involves the holistic integration of mind, body, and spirit. Balancing yin and yang through the various practices of the Integral Way, one achieves complete unity within and without. This manifests in the world as perfect equilibrium, and perfect grace.”

Hua Hu Ching Ch 58

In Spirituality to live a balanced and wholesome life, sooner or later there will be the need to observe sexuality as a part of our human experience.
The mind will usually crave for it. When there is craving there cannot be peace. Without serenity, there cannot be balance.
A human being cannot go without food, water or shelter for too long before dying. Those are basic needs, which will bring balance to our existence.
Sexuality may have to be included in that list for some; according to the state of consciousness of many human beings.

When sexuality is observed and faced by a spiritual aspirant, there are many different views.

We have the 2 extremes: No sexuality at all for it is important for the aspirant to experience that craving to overcome it, OR the view where expressing that sexuality is necessary; thus there is no need to overcome anything but just to let ourselves be driven by our cravings. Of course, anything in between those 2 extremes will be available as well.

According to our state of consciousness, we could view sexuality in a few ways:
1.Sexuality is about pleasure. 2. Sexuality is about power over another. 3. Sexuality is about procreation. 4. Sexuality is about intimacy (emotional, physical closeness.) 5. Sexuality is communion.

Needless to say, very few human beings are able to reach sexuality as “communion.” The first 3 ranges are very common, that is the “normal” range. The 4th range, intimacy; requires a sense of commitment.

Why is it that “communion” is not a “normal” experience?
Simply because the inner work which that demands to reform the self, from its own weaknesses and cravings is tremendous. To have a partner in that same state of consciousness is not common either.

That is not “normal.” 🙂

If we look at the 2 extremes of sexual denial or indulgence, both paths will lead to the individual’s exhaustion unless the craving is over. Unless neediness is no longer there. Unless there is no longer an inner fight.

Every spiritual method; every path taken is meant so we can observe ourselves to understand our shortcomings, to see those things which create psychological suffering and more important, to be able to find that balance which will bring the mind, body and spirit together as a unity.

To reach this state of consciousness requires a great dedication to understand the workings of sexuality in ourselves.

It is easy to say “don’t do it.” It is way easier to say: “do it.”
It requires intelligence to understand the inner fight or the overwhelming neediness. To be in harmonious balance.

When a human being acquires that sensibility to be able to observe the self, to become aware of our own needs and tendencies, then that human being will recognize the responsibility of attaining such a state.
Every state forward in consciousness, comes with greater responsibility towards humanity.

In that consciousness, sexuality will no longer be a problem to indulge in or to suppress. The understanding and openness to acknowledge a variety of human beings and approaches to life will be there.

The only thing that will matter in that consciousness, will be our own recognition of where do we belong in that variety, so we could embrace that path and live life with greatest honesty. That is, there will not be a difference between what we say, what we do and what we think. We will be aligned, in balance.


That inner work to unite the fragments of our own personality, is the work of spirituality. Through that sincerity is how life will no longer be separated from us, but life will be “part of us” and those experiences in life will only bring greater clarity about ourselves.

It is in that understanding where our dilemmas in life, will have an answer which cannot be written in a piece of paper, but that could be clearly understood in the clarity of awareness. 🙂


  1. vvrisor

    “True self-cultivation involves the holistic integration of mind, body, and spirit”
    “we can observe ourselves to understand our shortcomings, to see those things which create psychological suffering and more important, to be able to find that balance which will bring the mind, body and spirit together as a unity”…..Thank you avyakt7.


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