Life is open just like a door. When we label ourselves as “doors,” and when we become conscious of our own labeling; then we create the “personality” of a door and the opportunity to “close” that door.
We become selective. This is “good” this is “bad.” This “hurts me,” this is “ok.” I “like this.” I “don’t like that.” All of that means closing the door and opening the door according to that created personality.
Acceptance means to be part of life, not separated from it. Acceptance is to observe, watch, acknowledge, then we can appreciate.
Ron wakes up. He goes right to the coffee machine. He serves himself some coffee in a small cup. He spills the coffee on the floor.
Ron gets upset. He makes his small tantrum of the day with some sort of jerky jumping and by automatically selecting 4 letter words to express his frustration.
Ron cannot accept the fact of spilling coffee.
Every action has a consequence. Ron will need to clean up his mess.
The question is: What is the usefulness of getting upset?
Going deeper into this, we could observe that there is no benefit whatsoever other than waking Ron up quickly from his morning drowsiness into a “bad mood.”
However, there is more to it…
Ron, started his day upset. That feeling will color his activities in that morning until he fully wakes up.
Ron will brush his teeth, take a shower and get ready for work in a very sloppy manner. His movements will be harsh, quick and without grace; without consciousness.
All of that means further mistakes throughout the day.
Because Ron forgot to drink his coffee, Ron continued his day with the feeling that “something was missing.”
That thought was bothering him while he started driving his car to go to work. Ron put some music on to add more noise to his already clouded mind. Ron passed a red light inadvertently. A police officer stopped him. Ron got a ticket.
That definitely woke him up for the rest of the day! 🙂
Acceptance is not an intellectual exercise. It is a “lifestyle,” an attitude towards life. When we accept something, we can look at whatever life brings without preconceptions, then we can see more avenues for change.
Let us say that Jan likes to call his supervisor, Randy by using the term “buddy.” Something like: “Hey, How are you doing buddy! “ His supervisor does not approve of that. However, Jan forgets and one day calls him “buddy” in front of another employee.
Most supervisors could react right there and put Jan in “his place.” That is a reaction out of anger. A babyish reaction to get “respect.”
Respect based on fear is not respect at all.
The following day, Randy sent an email to Jan and cc: to the other employee as well, commenting on the incident and stating clearly his expectations on “professionalism” and that there will be a consequence next time this happens.
After that email, Randy did not talk about the incident anymore.
Jan changed. Jan wasn’t offended for he understood the issue clearly.
Jan wasn’t denigrated in front of other employees either.
No eye for eye.
Acceptance, appreciation of the situation as it is and then moving on by creating a new situation based on spiritual values, means respecting life as it is, without trying to control it, without trying to close a door which is meant to be open.