A fragmented personality
Ananda sat by the Bay. He was looking at the Ocean and the Sunrise, Ananda was immersed in “being” that.
All of the sudden he was surprised by the appearance of “something” swimming underneath his feet.
For 2 seconds that something was “newness,” until Ananda recognized that familiar figure to be a dolphin.
Ananda was able to catch the way his mind worked: “Ahh! Nothing new, just a dolphin…” At that moment the newness of the moment vanished.
The above is the description of how we bring our past to meet the present. Nothing wrong with that for we need that information sometimes. The issue is when we rely on that for everything.
For example if we meet an “old” friend who we have not seen for months; memory is necessary to recognize that person. However, it will be an erroneous assumption to believe that this person is the same one that we met back then. There is change in both sides. All that is bringing us together are “dead” memories.
Nevertheless, there is “recognition” beyond memory. That is when we meet someone who we know, we have met “before.”
That knowing is beyond memory. That knowing allow us to acknowledge the present despite the feeling of “this is not the first time.”
That knowing is not truly about a “before,” but it is about a “new” story now. To be continued … 🙂
Sometimes that memory could be the source of addictions.
For example some experience may bring something pleasurable. The mind wants to repeat that experience.
In that repetition there will be comparison. When we compare we are not acting “freely” in the “now” but we are setting “standards.”
A second time repeat of something could be “better” than, “worse” than or “the same as.”
It is in that comparison where we do not allow “what is” to be. Therefore, any action through comparison is never complete, never total.
When something is not complete, there is a space, which will prompt us to “want more,” to “repeat the same.”
This is the trap of the mind. When we eat something that we like, that pleasure of taste will tempt us to eat more, even though satisfied. Why is that? Our mind wants to repeat that experience even though physically there is no sense of hunger anymore.
When eating has totality, that enjoyment of eating goes along with feeling physically satisfied. We are a complete unit not 2 different things: The mind wanting something while the body does not.
This “normal” phenomenon is known as “being fragmented.” A fragmented person has no experience of totality, completeness, and wholesomeness in his life. There is always something missing, something around the corner to pursue, something promising fulfillment…
Ananda walked down the side walk to return home. On his way he saw a dolphin swimming by him again; looking at him, they met with the eyes. Ananda felt with his heart the appreciation of that encounter, that experience of being “there,” and only “being.” That was a complete , unique moment which did not need any further repetition.
This is what I need. I don’t “have to” be at the now “in order to” experience “that old experience” again. I am being here and that’s it 😀 Let’s play and dance 😀