Love hurts: Who is hurt?


“Love hurts ’cause you can’t let it go
Love hurts ’cause you need it so
Love hurts yes it hurts, but it’s good for fools
Love hurts every night and day
Love feelings never go away
Real love, it is here to stay with you
Yes it’s true…”

Culture club – “Love hurts.”

Without being able to recognize our ego, there is no chance to feel love without “being hurt.”

There is an expectation in a relationship. There is a sense of exclusivity and possession of that which we feel that we “have rights” over.

There is pain when someone does not correspond to what we perceive to be “pure love” from our part.
When ego is running the show, that pain increases as there is a void, an empty space, which cannot be fulfilled by any other thing…. Then, neediness arrives.

“I love you because I need you.”

Our thoughts will hammer our mind with scenarios, things that should have happened and we could rationalize that the other person is guilty or that we are guilty for that separation.
It is the same thing. Pain is all there is.

Q: What do we do?
A. Dilute that ego.
Q. How?
A. Be aware of it. It is not “you.”
Q. Then, who that is?
A. 🙂 Ego. The voices inside expecting things to happen in a certain way. Ego cannot be able to enjoy an experience without trying to manipulate it in a certain way.

Of course, Some would rather play “safe” and avoid to feel anything. That is the other extreme. Let me lie to myself that love does not exist.

That is the fearful extreme, which silently suffers pretending that love is not for them…when deep inside them, there is something that says: Experience it.

In this catch 22 scenario, there is more suffering… and then we call that “real love.” 🙂

Do we want to pray for things to change in our favor?
Do we want to offer to God something in return for getting our love back?
Do we want to “only love God” for it is not hurtful to our egos?

Learning about “real” love truly means to learn about our egos.
Without that inner observation, all we could have is depressing songs which reflect back our belief that we truly have loved someone… when in reality, we have never experienced love.

Isn’t that a “good” realization to have? 🙂

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