The lost art of detachment
Life is change.
Nothing new in that phrase.
Nevertheless, our attitude and the way a typical human being lives life, is as if life was something static. Something which shouldn’t change… and the illusion is placed in our “efforts” to maintain life the way we “like it” or we believe to be “good.”
Today here. Tomorrow there…
The above phrase will infuse fear in most. Once we “settle down” then life is about the “fight” to remain as unchanged as possible: “Me and everything around Me.” 🙂
This lack of fluency with the way life is, will bring suffering.
Our beliefs are probably the hardest thing to let go. Because of our beliefs, we create suffering for others and for ourselves.
Do we see how suffering is pointing to our inability to free-flow with ‘what is’ without further thoughts?
That may be the meaning behind the most misunderstood word in Life:
When attachment is glorified in our society as “good,” detachment is not the “opposite” of attachment, but rather a label to express “free flow”… Just like a yoga class!
In Life, the opposite of being attached could be negligence, but never detachment.
Attachment is one extreme, negligence the other extreme and in between, there could be detachment.
Detachment is something that could never be understood by looking up the word in the dictionary.
We will be misled if we do that. We understand detachment by going deeply into: “Life is change.”
Jan liked his Jacuzzi at home very much. In 2 months, he was going to move out of the country into a third world country where a home Jacuzzi was not part of the “geography” there.
Jan thought: “I will not go into my Jacuzzi anymore to get used to not having one. In that way, I will be alright when I move out.”
That sounds like a good idea… right? 🙂
Jan is only showing how much attachment he has for that Jacuzzi.
Paul heard about Jan’s idea and he advised Jan: “ You should do the opposite. You should use your Jacuzzi more often while you can, because later you will not have it.”
Paul’s idea seems logical, nevertheless; it also shows attachment.
How is it possible for 2 opposite views to have the same result?
Because both views are not “free-flowing.” Those 2 opposite ideas are just mental solutions born out of attachment to something. There is a “knowing” that this something will go away soon.
Attachment comes at the mental level when there is a need, when we are “hook” into something or someone. To step away or to become closer while we can, shows the same thing.
This is the paradoxical aspect of attachment.
We cannot be detached by “thinking” about it, by finding an intellectual solution. It requires our ability to enjoy life as it manifests without rejecting it or “making the effort” to accept it.
Someone who flows in life, someone who is detached will live the moment. If he feels like going into the Jacuzzi, he will do so without letting his mind go into the future or the past.
To deny yourself something is as dangerous as to indulge into something… whatever that is.
and here the paradox of enjoyment:
When you are detached, you could enjoy.
Only when you are not there, you are…enjoying…:-)
It is in that enjoyment when the seed of love arises.