The “I” wanting to transform itself is just an illusion.
The “I” watching itself is another illusion.
There is an empty space (non-I) needed to watch, when there is awareness. The “I” is not watching itself but that empty space is.
Does it make any sense?
Good. It is meant to be experienced when it happens and not intellectually understood.
A “detached observer” cannot be the “I” watching, observing.
That which is watching has no identification, no identity.
That is consciousness.
When there is no identification with something, we could watch the “I” turning into a little kid or a thinking adult or a Dad or a Mom, different roles that are coming all the time according to the circumstances.
Many times, we deny the “inner child” and we grow arid, sad and with no sense of wonder. On the other hand, if the inner-child is all that is allowed and the other aspects restricted, depth and stability which are signs of maturity, would be forsaken.
Many “roles” will be sharing a personality encapsulated in a body to perform activities. To explore this further is to recognize that the “I” does not have consistency by itself unless we believe to be something static. A belief is a static picture, when the world and life is a continuous movie.
There is no “doing” from the “I” which could change consciousness.
If the “I” keeps “doing” things, it is just strengthening its position.
Consciousness changes all by itself according to what we need to experience in life. Everyone has a different timing. We cannot “speed things up” for that idea comes from an “I” which is eager to reach a destination: To be illuminated, seated with God, enjoying Heaven, etc.
As mentioned many times already, enjoyment of “what is “ meaning the perception which we are able to experience due to the current location of our consciousness; is in itself the opening, the acceptance of life required for consciousness to keep on changing without obstacles from the “I” itself.
Enjoyment not only means a “happy face,” but the attitude to find amusement, wonder and delight in every experience that life brings. Enjoyment is not only in a particular situation, but the appreciation of everything that makes up a circumstance.
To explore enjoyment is to be flowing with life, to be one with it, to experience oneness… to experience the One. 🙂