Life will show us where we are
Ananda visited his family 7 months ago. His family live in another country away from here.
Mathias, the wise tree; shared to Ananda at that time:
“You may wish good bye to your father.”
Ananda understood that his father was going to experience death at any time but he wasn’t sure when.
When Ananda approached Mathias for a particular date as to when this will happen; Mathias replied: “ Friend, I hope that you don’t forget that I do not bring a fortune teller glass ball with me.” 🙂 A date means to wait idle for life rather than to enjoy the experiences.
At that time, Ananda gave a good hug to his father before departing…. conscious of the “last hug goodbye.” He knew that he couldn’t share that information with relatives who are not ready to understand the different threads of the Drama of life.
What for some is the opportunity to “say good bye,” for others is the chance to go into desperation or to brush that information off as “nonsense” for there is “no scientific evidence.”
Ananda’s father was losing his memory. He wasn’t able to walk very well but with the help of a cane. His activity was being reduced little by little. At 77, he was enjoying good health. In the past, he used to be very active, lover of sports and dancing. In Ananda’s memory, he is a caring and tender man, ready to enjoy life. He is “spiritual” because he knew how to enjoy life, the “now” without ever joining a religion.
Last week, Ananda’s father had appendicitis, which became infected, damaging some internal organs. He had surgery, which he survived, but the infection continued. The doctors mentioned that he has 30% chances to survive.
Ananda’s family members are sad; seeing the scene of a man hooked up to different tubes; a man who would like to go back home to relax but who is unable to eat or drink.
What to do? Where to go?
Life will present many scenes, what is important for the “life walker” is to be aware of his feelings at that time, the Now. Anything that is going on is merely a chance to look inside.
Look inside, look inside… observe the feelings that arise.
Death is not an enemy. It is not something to fear. It is not an adversary. Ananda’s father is not “losing” the battle, when life itself is around the “corner” for him.
Mathias, the wise tree; mentioned: “Remember that the best time of your father’s life is just about to start.”
Any “spiritual” knowledge about “how to behave” in life is only information, until someone experiences life itself happening to them. At that point, without inner observation the option is to “act” the rules, what it seems “good” but that may be dishonest if contrary to our own feelings and emotions at that time.
Some may call that experience of seeing a loved one at death’s door, a “test.”
Ananda feels that it is not a test when our emotions and understanding of life are aligned; but when that is not the case, it is not only a test but an opportunity to ingest sorrow and sadness for “free.”
That is lack of awareness.
How can you enjoy life under that circumstance, we may ask?
When the perspective is turned 360 degrees around, and the “indoctrination” of smelling death everywhere is not the focus of the experience, but to see that every end is a new beginning.
That is to celebrate life.
The above will be completely dishonest from Ananda’s part to share, if Ananda was feeling emotionally devastated, hurt, in pain and anger…blaming the doctors, life, God and everyone else for taking his father away from him… why.. why.. why it had to happen this way… 🙂
There is no one taking anyone away. How could Ananda explain this in words? It is not an intellectual thing to understand.
Ananda is discovering that his work for the past year on his emotions is paying off. Many posts have been shared already on that.
Thoughts will appear such as: “ You should feel sad and cry… your father is dying, don’t you see it? What an insensitive son you are!
The thoughts are allowed to exist but there is no identification with them. In observation, those thoughts dissolve and become the past. Simply become aware of them, thoughts are not you.
Mathias the wise tree, would call that “to embrace the bloody Buddha” that is to embrace even those things which are thought of as “negativities” in ourselves, just to give it a label.
It is a discovery “about us,” which cannot be rejected into the duality of “good and bad.”
As his father, Ananda will have a new start in life tomorrow. He is moving to another place!
Life continues on… The day is bright and sunny outside for those who are able to see it, to enjoy that scene means to live in the “now.”
When we observe that we are no longer theory but we live our words, is definitely a day to celebrate!
Cheers for inner honesty and for the new beginning of father and son!
Until Thursday… 🙂
Exploring the Depth of Living 
May light and love carry you forward on your path. Best wishes with the move.
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