Fearing our essence


The practical aspect of finding emptiness, voidness or any other label to describe the absence of existence of the “I” could be an experience which could start our search for meaning.

It is no longer about God who is going to help “me,” because there is no “me” in that experience.
As Steve Jobs mentioned:” Everyone wants to go to Paradise, but no one wants to die.”
That paradox is something to keep in our minds and prayers, for that speaks loudly about our own honesty.

Every time we go to sleep, there is that emptiness waiting for us. Have you noticed it? That is the emptiness, which fills the self, the “I” with fear.

The body and the mind calls for that experience of “rest,” as if someone gives us an injection with anesthesia, then we fall sleep. We “rest in peace.” 🙂

However, when the “I” fights that natural experience, then struggle will be experienced along with suffering.

When we wake up, there may be an instant when consciousness is but not a role. The role, the “this is me, don’t you remember?” happens in less than a second after that. We could not remember who we are, that is the personality; but the feeling of being there…. of existing without doubt, will be there whether we remember who we were or not.

Mathias, the wise tree; was speaking with Ananda about sending feelings from the heart as a way to “help” the Totality.
Mathias: “When you send your feelings to the Totality that also has an effect on a particular person. If there is an expectation or a grudge inside you, that becomes a wall which diminishes the strength of the feelings being sent. Become empty.”

Ananda: “Friend, I used to feel that emptiness that many are afraid of, but it is gone now. However, I cannot point out a particular practice or thing which has accomplished that.”
Mathias: “ It is not a particular thing you have done. It happens when it is the time. Buddha or Jesus did not write any books about it, because they did not have anything to write about that experience.”
Ananda: “But the followers without the experience, wrote about that experience.”
Mathias: “ You said it.”

At the end of the road, when we have experienced every religion there is and read about every philosophy that exists, we could be full of beliefs until the final moment… but when fear of not being is transformed into embracing the experience of being who we are, then emptiness is no longer something to fear.
Once we know ourselves; there is nothing to fear.

The above sentence will be misunderstood or not understood by those without the experience.

The drop of the water is the Ocean itself, but when the drop believes about being a drop and not the Ocean; there is fear of not existing.


  1. raj

    Hello Avyakt . I do have the same experience (the emptiness before sleep that creates a fear in me). Sometimes I find tough to sleep but in morning I find my self full with stress, work ,daily chore ..the personality I..my question is how did you tackle this?


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