A human being has a duality within. That is the male/female energy, which is manifested through a body.
When we identify with the form, we call ourselves “male or female.” Nevertheless, our psyche has to agree with that denomination as well. If it doesn’t then we have the other shades of colors besides the “black and white,” male-female type of standard.
To be aware of our own eternity is to recognize that we had the experience of being a male and a female. To be aware of our own energies is to balance and harmonize male and female. There is no one who is a “pure female” or a “pure male” energy. A “macho guy” represses his femininity to the point where he will be in extreme need of female energy. At that point that neediness has been labeled as “love.”
When someone embraces the path of a seeker, sooner or later loneliness will be faced. That loneliness increases for the need of finding a complementary energy will be always there. It is part of Nature.
Inside ourselves, there is the “inner kid” which most psychologists now agree “exists.” However, there is a “full-family” inside every individual. There is the male- female and kid energies.
To balance those energies is of utmost importance to find that wholeness inside without neediness.
Once that wholeness is found, then to integrate that oneness with “others” is the next step.
“Loving yourself” is more than a “nice spiritual phrase.” It is to recognize our value, worthiness and respect for being. We could start with self caressing ourselves, pamper ourselves, to use this body to manifest that which we would like in a partner.
Obviously the above may not be accepted for there is a strong taboo against touching our own bodies or allowing complementary, natural energies within to manifest.
All of those beliefs are detrimental in harmonizing our energies. We have learned to repress and to live by stereotypes which have given us the notions of what is “good and what is bad.”
Unless we learn to balance our own energies, to live by yourself harmoniously may not be possible. Everyone will go by in our lives. We need to learn to live in balance with ourselves.
By identifying ourselves with a particular “role model” or stereotype, we deny our own manifestation. The “black and white “ belief that a “man” has to be this way and not that way, or “this is the way a woman should act..” is nothing but a belief and as such it is worth only as long as someone gives value to it.
Therefore, to integrate the “family” within is of great value to experience that oneness which is needed to embrace a greater oneness with all.
We cannot pretend to be One when we are needy. We cannot pretend to live harmoniously in a relationship with another person, when we look for our needs to be satisfied by another.
Coffee and milk get together to bring their own flavor into the mix to create something different with their own oneness.