As we discover that different feelings and emotions arrive in what we call “Me,” then we could observe that those emotion “pass by” unless we trap them with us.
The “I” uses those emotions to build itself up.
Ralph had a “macho” idea of himself. He is “straight.” One time he was meeting with Paul at lunch time and for a brief moment, Ralph felt a weird attraction towards Paul.
That “feeling” got Ralph all worked up. He thought that this feeling was a homosexual symptom.
Ralph rejected that feeling and next time he was around Paul, the “macho” Ralph; felt all-nervous. Ralph’s uneasiness was perceived by Paul, who asked: “What is wrong with you?”
Because Ralph rejected that feeling, that “thing” got stronger. His moral values and religious beliefs, which he strongly believed in, made of Ralph a walking presence of guilt and fear. If Ralph would have accepted that feeling, and just go on with his life rather than make that “thing” a “big deal,” things could have worked out by itself.
What is the big deal if Ralph is homosexual?
Morality, beliefs, emotions towards that word.
The above is an example of how the “I” is not able to live in the moment, by accepting the sensations that come at that time. Acceptance means liberation. Rejection means to be trapped.
I recall my father was a “master” of living in the moment back in my childhood. When there was a heated discussion in the family, he may get upset (even sometimes while eating meals with the family together) however; 1 minute later it was as if nothing had happened. He could continue enjoying his meal while the rest of us… well… the grudge, the resentment was present during the rest of the meal.
The bigger the ego, the longer that resentment will last.
Did he do anything to get that way? It just happened. He did not do any practices at all.
He was able to tune in and out of situations as they appeared.
A child typically acts in the same way. A baby could cry his lungs out and then a sudden smile will come in his face. Just like that… 🙂
Have you observed ducks in a fight? Yes… they fight, they will do their tantrums, but then after a brief time, they will agitate their wings and then… they will go on with their lives, as if nothing had happened.
That is something to learn from animals. They will go from one state of being into another after “shaking themselves up.”
A sleepy dog will be ready to wag its tail and play after dancing the “shake, shake, shake” song. A cat may stretch out before going into a different activity.
A typical Human on the other hand, will carry the “memories” and make sure to “never forget them.”
To live in the past is a human disease.
As we become more in tune with our observation, we could perceive that different feelings may come which will give a presence for a moment. If the “I” traps that feeling because it is “too good,” or “too bad” (duality) then that sensation only strengthens that sense of “I.”
Is the solution not to feel anything then?
NO! There is no need for a solution, just observe how everything takes place. That is all.
As our sensibility to those energies surrounding us, increases; then we will be able to perceive that many times what we feel does not come from “us” but we could call that: The environment, the vibes, etc. In that realization it is a lot easier to let those unusual feelings go by.
The “I” could be like a wall. Everything that comes into that wall will stick in it. When the “wall” is not there as much, things just go by.
Everything changes in Life. The “I” is not an exception. Nevertheless because thoughts, ideas, memories are “static,” then we believe that things must be static as well.
Observe that every time we use our feelings to dramatize something in Life, that “thing” acquires a greater strength. It is that strength which will accelerate thoughts… Repetitive thoughts about something, someone or a particular situation.
If that “trauma” goes against our beliefs, our ideals, our morality, then imagine the strength that we have given to a Life experience.