“I would appreciate if you could share some insights with regards to choosing a vocation or how to earn one’s livelihood. Though you don’t entertain personal questions ,will share my personal situation to give you a context.
I am a 32 year old working in the Indian IT industry for 7 years,have done my engineering and MBA degrees but somehow of late “office work” just doesn’t stimulate me.This has been happening for 2-3 years,almost feel repelled regularly.Though its a state of mind and it goes away and its fine for few days but then it again keeps returning regularly.Just sitting in front of a computer whole day is just too much to take for me at times.I understand we all go through different emotions always but this desire to break out of this keeps coming back.But the irony is I have no idea what I want to do instead.If I get some free time I kind of distract myself but not work sincerely enough on finding about what truly I desire and work towards it,lack the discipline to do it consistently.Somewhere feel I am not following my ‘ highest joy’…don’t know if that’s possible even.
Not sure if my question made much sense and is different from the regular spiritual/philosophical thing, but if you are able to relate to it please do share your experience.”
Thank you for your question. Your question may fit the situation of many and I have experienced something similar, thus; I will answer it.
The question you ask is not easy to respond if you are looking at it from a conditioned perspective that is the “mass” belief. If your perspective is driven by “your instincts,” “your gut feeling,” “your intuition,” etc. Your question does not need to be answered as you know the answer.
Therefore, that is your “choice” at this point, but that can change in the future. Let me explain:
Like you, at one point in my career I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in the “office world,” even though the pay and the “status” were pretty good. I decided to look for another well-paying job in the IT industry. But Life had a different plan for “me.” I was let go. I wasn’t able to find a job to match “my standards” even though I tried pretty hard.
Thus I lived with my savings for the next 4 years. I found work as a “swimming pool cleaner” to supplement my savings as I live in Florida- USA.
If we believe in the idea of security and “social status” that the mind has bought into; my experience could be traumatic. It was at the time. Now, I see something entirely different.
Why did pool cleaning interested me? That was the time to experience “ Do what you love to do.” I love physical work/exercise outdoors. I wanted to walk barefooted in the grass and get plenty of sunshine, be in the water and feel the weather’s change in my skin. Also, I was mysteriously attracted to the blue color of a swimming pool. From that, I went into bodywork full time, and learned about energy work, the art of relaxation and the power of touch. My days in the IT industry seemed over, but… I am back in the IT industry with a job similar to the one I was let go, 12 years ago… but now as a “different person.”
What I AM “now” is the sum of that journey. If I am to think about retirement funds, the house, the luxury vehicle “I lost” during that time, what I experienced may have no meaning. It was about the “spiritual journey” into BEING someone different, for that I needed to let go of the conditioning by experiencing my fears.
Life is just full of experiences which we may label as surprises, good luck, bad day, punishment from God, being born under a lucky star, etc.
We get caught up with labels, but those are completely meaningless in the “bigger picture.”
Life is playing a song for you. You could stress yourself by trying to guess which is the next note that will be played in the song and “make the right decision;” or you could just be open to the tune as it develops. At the end of the day, a song is a song whether you spend your time trying to guess the next note “standing by the wall” or whether you just flow with the tune and “get down on it.” What is the difference then?
Your state of BEING.
If you don’t know what you want to do, you will find out. Things that you may not even consider when you have the safety of your current job, may be potential candidates.
You may “choose” now, but Life may have other plans for you, later on; therefore, here is my 10 cents sharing of my experience:
“Your choice” is not important. Go left or go right…It is not about that. Just “get down on it” to whatever tune Life is playing. You can dance.
Expression in Life is not a matter of “choice.” 🙂