Controlling your reactions

In the world of “spirituality for the masses” and “best sellers,” there is a famous phrase: “You cannot control the situation, but you can control your reaction over the situation.”

Apparently that phrase is “full of wisdom,” but that is only in the surface.

John was fired from his job. He was asked to go to a “meeting” with his boss. The HR person was there as well; John received the “pink slip.” John wanted to fight back and scream as he thought that to be unfair, but he didn’t as he remembered to be “calm under all circumstances.” He controlled his reaction.
Even though John lost his job, he did not lose his temper… hurrah! 🙂

Think of all the “pros” in John’s “controlled reaction.”
He did not make a drama out of that. He showed his composure under a stressful situation. He gave a “good impression” and he acted as a “mature individual.”

Observe that those “pros” could be perceived in the surface; but none of them are true about John.
John was a “good actor,” that is it. In “spirituality for the few” we could label that as “dishonest.”

That repressed anger will be detrimental to John’s health.

Our society, religious and moral ideals dwell in the “façade” of things. It is about showing, acting. The smiling clown for all to see, who is truly sad inside.
We are taught to constantly check that we conform with the ideal behavior. In doing so, the individual is completely forgotten. We are taught to repress who we truly ARE.

I am not saying that John should have acted in anger. Let us not see things in a “black or white” perspective. There are many colors between “black and white,” but those colors cannot be prescribed through a “black or white” law or moral standard.

If John learns to observe his reaction, if he is aware of what is going on inside him, he may find out many things. That awareness is for the “few.” 

This mentality of “controlling things” and “struggling in Life to accomplish goals” are some of the most disrespectful ways towards Nature, Life, the Totality. In that perspective, our view of separation from Life is imminent.

Ego appears through that space of separation.

Ego is nourished through that continuous perspective…