Enjoying the thought
Let us say that John is having a deeply “spiritual” moment with his wife Teresa. He is having sex with her.
During that time of enjoyment, his mind starts to send/catch thoughts.
John’s mind has a thought of a man that he saw before. He was a well built, good looking man in John’s view.
That thought, threw John off completely from the sexual experience with his wife. John was very concerned about “that” incident.
John labeled the thought as being “homosexual.” He even freaked out by the thought that he could have “homosexual tendencies”. From that point on, John created his own hell.
No? It never happened to you?
It may. 🙂
The understanding of the experience explained above, could send light into the meaning of mature/aware “spirituality”.
Observe how the thought appeared. John thought that he actually created the thought. Great awareness, John!
This thought created a sense of guilt, lack of comfort.
It is not “right” to think that. John sees himself as “straight” (another label to create duality).
There is a rejection about the idea of homosexuality. This idea brings all the taboos, hang ups, beliefs, conditionings in John.
Observe that the sacred moment of John’s enjoyment with his wife, became a moment of disturbance. John was worried about this.
John wanted to “fix” this “problem” right away!
He had an inner conflict. He was ready to reject anything homosexual. He was ready to fight for his “cause” of being a “moral” man, that is; a “Godly man”. John was ready to defend his “righteousness”.
All of that, just to cover a rejected thought.
When we are living in the mind, a thought is everything.
Let us see Life from another perspective. In this perspective, thoughts do not matter at all. They are just the outcome of our conditioning.
In this perspective, what matters is the feeling. Thoughts could arrive, they could be weird, but they are welcome.
Do you want to resist? Do you want to put the mental conditioning up front?
That will be our tendency.
Let that go. The feeling is all that matters.
Have you ever wondered if the thought about a man, while having sex with your wife will make you into homosexual?
Apparently John believed so. His mental hell was in motion.
Observe how words, labels, ideas will make Life into a “problem”.
Observe how enjoyment becomes an ideal when the moment is not accepted, acknowledged as it is. We want to “fix” our thoughts by covering those with another thought, a “good” thought, but deep inside we know that we are just covering things to align with our conditioning.
A thought will come back as long as we reject it. If it is not rejected, it just goes away. It came to you; it goes from you.
“Empty” of beliefs, mental baggage about what should be, that may be a mentally sound individual.
The feeling of enjoyment is purely a sensation. We will kill the moment by identifying with a thought.