Most individuals at this time have their consciousness located in the mind. From that experience, sexuality has a different perception.
There, most men will experience sexual excitement only located in the genital area. This impulse is uncontrollable and most likely will end in ejaculation. Duration of this experience depends on the ability of the person to withhold the force of his sexual energy. It is a struggle. For this person, satisfaction is equal to release, and the experience of relaxation afterwards.
Ejaculation for a man, takes its toll in vitality depending on frequency and age. Nevertheless; at this level of consciousness, to repress ejaculation will be detrimental for a man’s health. It will be a struggle instead of an opportunity for enjoyment, for it is not natural.
Sexuality for those whose consciousness is mainly located in the heart, is located beyond the initial excitement, which translates into a longer and much slower experience of sex. The focus is not only in the genital area but the sensations of the whole body. When the mind is away, there will be full enjoyment of sensuality through the sense of touch. Repressed sensuality brings the ever search of satisfaction through the mind (known as lust), which in our visual society; is experienced in the consumption of pornography or subconscious sexual driven thoughts.
In the heart center, currents of energy could be felt which when naturally directed towards the head (6th chakra) will bring elation and a sense of well being. As the body learns to relax through this energy, then sex becomes a “slow dance” and a male will not have the urgent need to ejaculate, which in turn means to feel satisfied and energetically “re-charged.” This description when there is exchange of energy, has been labeled as “sexual Tantra.”
To be “re-charged” means to gain vitality. This aspect is little known about sexuality. It is not only “fun” or pleasurable as most know, but it is a way to recharge the vitality of a person.
In the “heart center”, a man is able to meet the natural arousal of a woman, as things will go slower and longer. Also, while in the mind; a man is usually visual and physical attraction is the key to engage with sexual partners, whereas in the heart center there needs to be emotional “attraction” as well. There needs to be more levels of congruence than just casual “fun.”
The “heart center” is not obtained through a technique. It is a level of consciousness which appears when internal, psychological healing has happened. That is the “spiritual inner work” that is necessary.
This “work” entails the liberation of traumas, taboos and especially, the dissolution of that violent energy, which for most has an evident outlet in sexuality.
This type of “inner work” takes time, but a different kind of sexuality will be the outcome.
Most individuals are conditioned to believe that there is a separation between human sexuality and “spirituality”. That is not the case according to my own experience. Human sexuality needs to begin with “self-love”. This is not some romantic idea; but as we could love another, we may need to star our journey by loving ourselves starting with our bodies; for within that understanding and observation of our own experience, we will be able to fully meet another.
The experience of human sexuality is the true expression of who we ARE in Life.