The discovery of the reforming (the passage from mind to heart) and revitalizing effects of sexuality are in direct proportion to the development of consciousness, that is the manifestation of BEING without impediments to open up, to trust Life.
Bluntly put, in my experience without a “higher” consciousness (as a consequence of the assimilation of Life experiences without traumatic tones,) there could not be the experience of revitalizing, reforming and loving sex (Tantric Sexuality.) Therefore, Sexuality is intimately meshed with Spirituality to fully experience its benefits.
There is no class, no certification, no teaching that could transform someone into BEING the embodiment of Tantra. However, all those teachings are helpful for most to increase their awareness and information of something different about sexuality, which is not transmitted or taught by our deeply conditioned, violent and dormant society. There is benefit in everything.
The “road” to Tantric sexuality is not easy. It requires the space, the time to discover, to practice and to assimilate. Someone coming from the “busy world,” doesn’t have what it takes. Their minds will not leave them alone.
All ideas about “achievement” are a hindrance, a deep obstacle in learning to let go. There is no deep sexual enjoyment unless we let go.
A man has tremendous pressure: The pressure to last. The pressure to maintain. The pressure to be there “present.” All of those things are natural for a man who has liberated himself from past traumatic experiences and who feels at ease with his own body and the natural expressions of it. Those traumas take their own time to clear, for otherwise; it may be highly counterproductive. Our minds could be our deepest obstacle.
Observe how proponents of a “new sexuality” direct their “teachings.”
It goes something like this: “ A man needs to control his ejaculation. He needs to learn that ejaculation is not the same as orgasm. He can have orgasms but no ejaculation. Ejaculation depletes a man’s vitality.”
They offer methods, techniques, meditations, etc. to “achieve” that.
I say, that is a very violent teaching. “When we want to build a house, we need to put a strong foundation.” That is a well known cliché.
The foundation of sexuality is spirituality. That is to learn to live Life in enjoyment, in harmony. A person full with unhealed traumas, is not ready for that yet. The foundation is not there.
A man trying to restrain from ejaculating, is forcing himself into something which he is not ready. That “goal” is something which HAPPENS naturally. It is not something to get DONE through effort, through practice, through some method. This is the same “sin” that many religions perform: Get to the “ideal” to be saved, to be pure, special, etc. It doesn’t matter where you are in Life. Just fit the ideal. That “practice” will bring violent repression. What could be the “solution” in the meantime? To learn moderation. That takes inner knowledge.
As shared many times, sexuality only expresses who we ARE. Thus, by understanding our own self, there is an opportunity for natural change of BEING, which will be expressed naturally in sexuality.
We cannot force self change. We cannot make it “happen.” It happens. We can only change bahavior; the DOING part, but never change the true BEING. The inner world, our consciousness is not regimented or controlled by the way we understand Life. Our human conditioning is geared to use force, the use of will power to overcome, the use of moral values to give us self righteousness to act in what we perceive to be “right.” That is an ego centered way of understanding Life.
The misinterpretation of Tantric sexuality is evident. We want to “make sense of things,” and shape our understanding into some philosophy or view, which we are willing to apply to all. Life doesn’t move along those lines. “Just Do it,” doesn’t do it in self-realization.
Life is an untold discovery of ourselves. Sexuality expresses our journey as an artist expresses through a paint. From the outside, we judge and put a label to that paint according to our conditioning, likes or dislikes. However, the paint is only an expression of an artist, as long as the paint is not being done just to please others.