Using but not abusing

I remember a professor saying in a business class: “It is Ok to use people but not to abuse them.”

That saying lingered in my mind for many years. It rhymes; it acknowledges the fact that the means do not truly matter, but only the end result which in this case; is my own personal gain, my profit. That saying could be similar to: “It is ok to choke people, just don’t kill them.” Why do we use people for our personal gain?

For many, this way of operating in society is alright. “Everyone does it.” John may use Mary to obtain his own goals. Mary becomes a “thing,” an object and loses her essence of being a human. As a society we are used to use people to obtain what we desire.

In the “spiritual world” such behavior has a consequence. When our ego separates from another being, then the other is not important or less valuable than us. The degree of importance given to others changes according to our consciousness and moral values; but nonetheless using another has been a common practice.

If someone would like to progress in BEING; then that practice of using others to attain goals, needs to observed. When we are caught in DOING for the sake of our own achievement, then that observation may not matter.

I could become “friends” with someone just to gain a benefit. That is not truly friendship although it may look like. It may look like I love someone. It may look like I care. That sort of dishonesty is the one going on in our typical behavior in society. “It looks like” is preferable than the actual fact of BEING it.

Although out of such “useful” relationship many great things could apparently happen. However, the seed prevails and as the tree of using others grows, it will fall as soon as fully grown. For most, the line between using and abusing is only seen when it is conspicuous, so obvious as when the “friend” becomes dry wood and a fallen tree. Otherwise, there is plenty of time to “milk the cow,” while serving our purposes.

The business world may have its own rules which are many times conflicting with goodwill practices and care for others. The conflict going on in most human beings is whenever values are antagonistic of each other: My “progress” means destruction of “the” environment, for instance. We do not see that as “my” environment.

It is that greed, that selfish desire to enhance the “me first,” the one masked with pretty words and sophisticated ideas.

“Why should you care about conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan,” is the title of a current “news.”

“It is a corridor for pipelines taking oil and gas to world markets.” Forget about humans killing each other. Forget about the unnecessary human suffering. We do not perceive how that suffering will affect us, we cannot perceive the connection. It is all about geopolitical and economic considerations, not humans.

That is how any talk about “peace” could be mere lip service, when there is the ultimate motive behind: The pipes which are good for ME. That is the “reason” why I should care about.

Using but not abusing, all under the dignified label of “peace.”


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