When losing a loved one is unbearable

Autumn arrived. It is the balancing act of Nature. High Summer activity will enter gradually into a period of rest. Some will feel happy because the heat of Summer is over. Others, will remember with nostalgia the great Summer time they had, hoping for that experience to come back again, some day. Summer will be back again. It is certain, just like the cycle of Life and Death.

The disciple was sad. A loving relative passed away. It was unexpected. It was in the midst of Summer. The disciple couldn’t shake that feeling of sadness from his heart. He went to his master and asked:

“Master, why is it so difficult to go over that feeling of sadness? Why does it persist? It is as if my mind brings piles of thoughts which end up in a feeling of despair.”

The master allowed the disciple to weep and when he was ready, the master replied: “ Losing someone we love is another experience in the vastness of Life. There are those who love things after they’ve lost them, and there are those who squeeze things hard so they do not lose them. Observe this: When we live in the mind, it will take us to the past which is gone or to the future which may not arrive. We don’t live in the reality of now, where Life unfolds, where love truly is.”

The disciple was disconcerted. He was waiting for some words to mitigate his pain. He asked: “ Do you think that my sorrow is in vain? I have the right to feel this way.”

The master understood his pain and lovingly said: “I feel your sorrow. Observe that all relationships have value, but when we value one relationship more than another, we set ourselves up for sorrow as all relationships sooner all later will disappear.”

The disciple responded: “Then, it is better not have relationships, for pain will be felt at the end.”

The master remained in silence for some time and then he added: “ Observe that many times we take Life experiences as traumatic experiences. We want to protect our self and by doing that we punish ourselves from the opportunity to forge new relationships. Life is relationship.”

The disciple had enough and he said: “What is the answer then ?”

The master replied: “ That is for you to find out. In a hot and humid Summer day, the wind will blow and clouds will appear turning the sky into a dark, gloomy day. Then, when darkness cannot be anymore, rain and thunder will arrive and lightning may show its anger by hitting things, but then soon it will be over and a rainbow will appear. Like Nature, express at once without holding back and move on into the rainbow for there is much more in Life than lightning and a dark sky. Everything has its own time. All experiences are fleeting. Enjoy an experience while it lasts. Not as a memory but as a heart felt experience while it is happening in the now. That will nourish that self that we try endlessly to protect. Remember that even lightning has its own beauty and that death is not the end but a passage. Summer which is gone now, will certainly return again. Spring time is its own colorful passage. In Life, what goes away comes back and once it is here, it goes away again. It is the circle of duality. That is the game we are offered to play and enjoy or to reject and traumatize.”

2 comments

  1. Vishwesh Deshmukh

    One more illuminating article. I could connect to it as I lost a close relative in past fortnight. Thank you.

    Like

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