It was a cloudy, gray and moody day. Most did not want to come out unless they had to. Winter was silently tiptoeing its way into the city as an expert burglar; stealing precious Nature time from unaware citizens. Nevertheless, that was the moment of blossoming of many flowers, a moment to admire that bright shade of green color in Nature and to enjoy that distinct morning grassy smell; while birds were harmoniously singing and chirping for only those who could have ears to listen. Nature has a bright side even in the darkest day.
On another scene, the disciple was in a heated discussion with his neighbor during that cold morning. The disciple was right in his complaint but the neighbor continued with his diatribes. After a few moments which seemed like an eternity, the disciple walked away and went to see his master. The disciple explained that scene and waited for his master’s words.
The master said: “Ego is a coward in disguise. Ego is afraid. Ego will look for an enemy to discuss, to fight because otherwise; it will have so much fear that it will sense its own dissolution. If ego is not utilized, it dies and disappears but not everyone has the courage to break away from that identity of themselves and to realize that as it is outside; it is inside. How did you feel during that battle?”
The disciple responded: “I felt very tense during those minutes, master. Now, I feel depleted.”
The master then replied: “Do you know the difference between sexual orgasm and ejaculation? The difference is Tension. To relax means to open up to life beyond the feeling of annoyance or hassle. Many times we just want to liberate ourselves from a bothersome relation as soon as possible thus, we are in complete tension. When there is this intention of ‘getting rid of’ before meeting that one, then that becomes an ejaculation. Then exhaustion appears, tiredness and a sensation of annoyance almost as if you had a relationship with a girlfriend where you need to ejaculate many times to demonstrate your virility. The end result is an uncomfortable feeling with her smell, her presence, her skin. Thereby; an orgasm means relaxation, to surrender in infinite pleasure. Ego does not like to surrender. It likes to fight, to run high. However, deeply in that personality there is a broken heart. Proud as no other of something which does not have. A complete illusion.”
The disciple understood his master’s words but he wanted to know what he needed to DO in such circumstance. The master responded: “ Only Presence. Thoughtless awareness. Whatever is there it has to be as it is; but if you remain consciously present that which is there in conflict, will dissolve by itself.”
The disciple then said: “Master, that person was acting in a crazy manner. The world is Crazy!”
The master listened, smiled and answered: “To live in a mental hospital has its pleasant side when you know that you are a doctor. But when you begin to fall ill from listening about diseases, when you become afraid of a disease or when you feel bothered by a sick patient; in that moment your vocation to help humanity goes away. Then obligation, a sense of duty comes in to replace vocation. Ego bubbles up as soap in that situation. Ego suffers in that sense of obligation and that will keep it alive. Trapped in that circle of feeling annoyance and hassle, bitterness appears.
Remember: Tension brings rigidity and that will end up breaking down your own body. Thinking about those events after the fact, attracts further tension. Feelings of goodness on the other hand, will evade it and settle into relaxation. Relaxation does not come by thinking about it or by forcing ourselves to be relax. It naturally comes in the awareness of tension.”