Category: sexuality

Understanding of male sexuality- #2

What we ARE is the flavor that will be transmitted to others. What we DO does not bring flavor when our actions do not match who we ARE. 

For most, sexuality is about physical attraction or an opportunity. These individuals usually are not aware of energies. That is fine. For others sexuality is an expression and the physical goes along with emotional closeness, for there is energetical compatibility. That is fine too.

Let me illustrate: Most “normal” individuals will eat junk food in a heartbeat. These are not aware of the consequences that this will bring later on, but they enjoy the moment. Enjoyment is good! Junk food is many times, emotional  food. Others who are aware of natural food and the benefits of it, may not eat junk food. Junk food is naturally tasteless for them. They enjoy “healthy” food! Similarly, some may sleep with anyone in the name of “practicing” Tantra. Energetically junk food is OK for them. Others, may be more picky. All is good, according to our consciousness. But, if we crave junk food but repress it in the name of eating healthy, we may have created a problem for ourselves. Change from junk into healthy without repression, does not come solely through intellectual understanding. There has to be change of consciousness, otherwise; our repression will be hidden and growing.

Male ejaculation has become a “problem” nowadays, due to information shared by “masters.” We hear: Avoid ejaculation at all costs, that drains your energy. “Techniques” are sold for that, etc. If your BEING is not ready for that, it will be all about repression. Sex will not be enjoyable as a guilt trip is assured, if a “mistake” happens.  A “master” is not made out of “practice” alone. If there was only “practice” and “Technique” rest assured, that individual is not a “master.”

It is very important to know where we ARE at a particular point in time. To look at ourselves and observe if we are repressing or indulging to the point of draining ourselves. If we are in the middle, know that this “middle” will change in time. It is a game of balance. To gain that sense of balance, is very important in Life.
The mind likes to ask questions such as: How many times is it OK to ejaculate per month?
Please forget about that. Learn to feel. If you are aware of how you feel, you will know. “Listen to your body.” If we depleted our energy, there are visible consequences. Using “scientific help” will deplete more what we have left. Naturally, celibacy is helpful at that time to regenerate our energy.

We have made sexuality into a problem. Rather, look at ways to change, to become less rigid about ideas of what “should be.” As we learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves starting from our bodies and the appreciation of the different feelings/sensations that our bodies are capable of, we could be ready to experience our own meaning of human sexuality. It is our own path after all.

Some individuals have the capacity to enjoy sex tremendously. Others do not.  Once we realize that Life offers the whole range of experiences, then our labels of “good, bad, right , wrong” will be left aside. All it is needed from us at every moment, is to be completely honest with ourselves. This holds true with sexuality as with other aspects of Life.

We may need to remember that Life changes and so do we. It is natural. Only our minds will bind us to the way we were a few months ago. It is in that acceptance of change how a relationship could be built. Nevertheless, most are not ready for that. Most want certainty, security. These individuals demand that someone does not change throughout their lives… without a doubt, love cannot grow in that.
Love grows in uncertainty. That is the flavor of BEING.

Shall continue…

Understanding of male sexuality – #1

Even today, there is a complete misunderstanding of human sexuality.
There is very little conscious experience of male sexuality. This time, I will share in a series of articles.
What makes me an “expert”?
I had the “normal” consciousness at one time in my Life. Now, it is different. Out of that change of consciousness there are many other natural changes including a different perception, experience and understanding of sexuality. Throughout reading the many articles of this blog, many will realize what I am pointing out. It seems as if 2 different people were writing here, although; it was just “me.”

In our society there is a reaction towards male energy. That reaction has taken the collective consciousness to believe that female energy is what we need at this time. The typical misunderstanding has placed a woman as the centerpiece on some religions and even “Tantra” teachings today. Please be aware that female energy is genderless. A male could have a predominant female energy as well as a female, male energy. Misunderstanding upon misunderstanding based on “research” of “normal” typical individuals is not the basis of the belief that human sexuality is like that. There is more to it.

A woman cannot understand the experience of a male. Similarly the opposite. Between males (whether predominantly female or male energy,) there is an enormous range of experiences that are possible.

Nevertheless, a different type of sexuality beyond the “normal” kind based on the harmonious exchange of energy of 2 different poles (male/female) happens when human consciousness changes. When we ARE ready.
Without this inner change, we are left with “techniques” and “rituals,” this is the game of pretending to be something that we ARE not. Spirituality and Sexuality are based on consciousness. Conscious awareness of energy. However, most are stuck in the physical attributes.

Therefore, it only makes sense to acknowledge who we ARE at this time, to value who we ARE at this time, to love who we ARE at this time, for a natural change to occur, free of traumatic experiences.

Our society sells performance and to be “better” all the time, without realizing that they are sending the message that as we ARE, we ARE not enough. This game of a donkey striving to reach the invisible carrot does not allow us to enjoy that which IS, right NOW… before it changes naturally.

The above is the foundation for Tantra. Without it, we are just dealing with mind games, as “teachers” are merely taking advantage of human weaknesses by merely promoting to indulge in sex, to a sexually repressed and spiritually unfulfilled individual. That game could be dangerous.

Sexuality is energy. It is that type of energy the one capable of bringing different types of experiences to individuals. That energy flows naturally from the pelvic region to the forehead, however; most “normal” individuals are completely unaware of this for their subtle “pipes” (nadis) are not “clean” enough. When this energy flows, the state of elation and bliss could be maintained longer which translates to a fulfilled, revitalizing act. However, for most that upward path is “clogged up” as a pipe which does not allow for water to flow upwards. The consequence is the explosion of that pressure on the pelvic region. That is what is known as “normal” for most. The label used is “orgasm.”

I want to clean my “pipes.” How to DO it? What is the “technique”?
If you are asking those questions, there is no understanding of what I conveyed above.
Only sharing for the common good. 

We shall continue….

Homophobia

Life changes. What it was, it is not necessarily what is “now.”
If it IS, it has the right to BE.
That is the simple “law of Life.” To “comprehend” that beyond the mind, is to go deeper into being one with Life.

What is the “definition” of a male?
Life will show us that our concept based on physical characteristics is not enough. A “male” could be in the physical body of a female. That is reality. However, our “definition,” our ideal becomes our “law” of what is “right,” what “should be,” even though, it is not real.

Our labels, our definitions, our beliefs rule our Life, rather than the observation of what Life shows us.
We could label homosexuality as “sinful,” a “punishment of God,” etc. for the sake of self-righteousness, but if it IS, it has the right to BE.

Busy in changing what IS, we will reject it. If we were busy in understanding Life, we will see that everything has a timing and change does not happen through the pungent will of one human or one hundred. That can only cause struggle, fight, violence. Anything achieved through violence is short lived and has consequences for the ones causing it.

In the world of duality, if male with female was the “law” of attraction, then in time, all sort of combinations will appear: Female with Female, Male with Male, and finally, gender-less … When there is gender, gender-less is a given. Duality.
Is that hurting our “sensitivity” for conditioned moral standards?

Sexually; gay and straight do not mix together, just like water does not mix with oil. Nevertheless, both can relate in many other ways. We are Human Beings after all.
What is your NATURE is natural to you, but there are so many conditionings surrounding that, traumatizing what is meant to manifest in its unique way.

There is nothing in Life worth as much as knowing who we ARE, but that will not make us rich, famous or powerful.
The conditionings of society will take us to the later, while only very few, will take the former.

The world of DUALITY is “real.” De-conditioning is needed to “comprehend” it.

The consciousness of Tantra

Jesus of Nazareth (a.k.a Christ) and Mary Magdalene were the embodiment of the consciousness of Tantra. So was Osho.
Who taught them Tantra“techniques”? Who certified them? What master classes did they attend to?

Tantra happens naturally in a particular level of consciousness. As a consequence, Sexuality will have a different meaning.

For a typical person, Tantra is about sex…“slow sex.”
The distortion is evident.
For a “normal” individual, sexual energy is a pleasurable energy that builds up and that excitement at the same time creates the need to get rid of it quickly (sexual relief.) That pleasure cannot be enjoyed for a longer time and “saved.” It needs to be released. Thus, the frenetic physical movements coupled with violence and anger (main energies of the collective consciousness at this time) giving the sensation that “sex is made in fast, feverish movements.”    That may be “true” for the collective consciousness only.

What has been offered to the masses is a “training” to slow down. Copying the ACTION (DOING) does not mean that the consciousness (BEING) is behind it.
The collective consciousness is a “monkey sees, monkey does” type of consciousness. However, a monkey IS still a monkey, no matter what it DOES.

That “monkey” consciousness is the one in search of techniques, methods, rituals, etc. to “look like” the “real thing.”

What I am describing above is not only about Tantra for the collective consciousness, but the whole package of the so called “spirituality.”
“BE like a spirit. It is our “true” nature.”  It is taught.  Translated to a “normal” consciousness it means to deny the body. The follower will deny his own body to pursue an ideal, a mental idea of what “should be.”
This is not “bad,” for there will be learning, although; it may not be a pleasant experience. That is the “tuition” for the lesson.

Therefore, without the previous “work” in consciousness; how could we say that we are “practicing” Tantra?
How is it possible for someone to speak about “self-realization,” by only exploring human sexuality?
That is a mirage.

However, there is a lesson there to be learned.

Ahnanda never thought that he will be sharing about Tantra. A few years ago, that was the furthest from his Life experience. Life is full of surprises!

Tantra happens when the time arrives.
Followers of self-realized individuals have made Tantra into a “method.” Those “methods” were kept secret for centuries, only given in a particular sect, philosophy, religious belief, etc. However, some westerners learned these “secrets” with the hope to “help others.” (Making $$ by selling a new thing in a “new”package. Nothing wrong with that; but those sexual “techniques” are not Tantra.)

Note that, a “higher” consciousness is not a “secret” to be sold. It is something that happens to humans who are ready after having gone through the wheel of Life experiences.

Jesus was crucified. Mary Magdalene is known by the masses as having been a prostitute. She wasn’t. That is a gross misunderstanding. Osho had been in trouble with the “law” and his practice was misunderstood by the collective consciousness.

Interesting outcome. Don’t you think?
The collective consciousness lags behind the pioneers. Only few human beings are ready at a particular point in time. Those individuals will be misunderstood while alive, but once the collective consciousness changes in time, all of the sudden; the words of the “misunderstood” will become “best sellers” and even “holy books.” We will have statues and pictures of the previously misunderstood “avatars” and the space to worship them.

Alive they were a “problem.” Dead,  they are revered. 

The gist of Tantra

In a word Love. In a phrase: Harmony between BEING and non-BEING. In a paragraph: Acceptance, acknowledgement, respect of what you are and what you are not, through the AWARENESS of constant change in LIFE. To love Life in all its manifestations is Tantra.

To “practice” the above means not to understand.
BEING that, is the outcome. Not the goal. Tantra does not have any goal, nothing to achieve. Nothing to become, for if there was the goal above anything else, there will be lack of respect for what we ARE now.

That is why, it has been shared that Tantra is not for the collective consciousness, the masses.
The collective consciousness is heavily conditioned to pursue a goal, an objective. To achieve something in Life.

The collective consciousness is obsessed with BEING someone “special” in Life. Everything they pursue whether worldly or “spiritual” has to give something in return to be worth: Enlightenment, fame, money, prestige, eternal salvation, etc.

With that general consciousness, to distort the spirt of Tantra is unavoidable.
We can only understand based on the type of consciousness that we experience now.

Tantra will happen to you when your consciousness is ready.

Our society has equated Tantra with sex, for Tantra acknowledges the complete human experience, including sex; while most religious systems simply ignore or deny sexuality.

For a sexually repressed society as ours, that was the attraction of Tantra.

Ahnanda shares about sexuality and Tantra; not because he has read about it or because he is certified or had extensive studies in “spirituality” or “Tantra.” Ahnanda is not a teacher. He does not share information.
Ahnanda shares his experiences, because in this Life time, he is experiencing the complete range of that particular experience.
That “knowing” had a price that money cannot buy.

In my experience, things will occur according to the readiness of our consciousness. Therefore, the beginning phase into Tantra is to acknowledge who we ARE now.

That means to OBSERVE, become AWARE of our mental conditioning, our beliefs, our emotional traumas. Those are the blockages for opening up in consciousness.

The outcome of that inner work will be to let go of our anger and violence which are the main energies, supporting everything we DO in Life, including sex. Thus, as we ARE sex will be. Anger and violence are defense mechanisms of the “I. “

Without this previous work, we could only enhance our sexual pleasure through techniques and methods; but rest assured that, that is not Tantra.

In Tantra, the temple is Nature. The “teachers” are the different beings: The Sun, the Ocean, animals, plants, etc. All of them have something for us to learn. That is openness to Life, acknowledgement of what IS. Those teachers, will help us into our de-conditioning.
BE there, to feel their presence. BE there so that will BE part of you.
Allow for Life to show you your particular path, be open to it unconditionally. There is nothing to achieve. No goals. Just BE what you are meant to BE… Life is change and so are you.
This may be known as the “TAO,” or “TANTRA.” Just words to express our inner discovery in this journey known as LIFE.
Love Life from the heart. That is the essence.

The Tantric misunderstanding

Tantra is not for the masses. A “tantrica” is not born by taking on-line “master classes.” Tantra is not about “better sex” either. Nor a “system” or “philosophy” to expand consciousness. There is this belief on being “liberated” from conditioning, by speaking freely about sexuality in a society that views sex as a taboo.

Tantra “Goddesses” will appear selling different “services.” They become “Tantra teachers” after attending a few classes and paying their fees to be “certified.” There is no much there to show their level of consciousness, but it is thought, that their sexual prowess is the proof of their “mastery.”

We don’t hear too much about “gods” of “tantra.”
It is a steep job description: A man that can have sex as many times as he wishes and ejaculate only when he wants, without using “technology,” “pills”or any “techniques.” That is a “natural.”
Due to that level of “mastery,” we do not hear too much from them. If they sell “techniques,” rest assured they aren’t “naturals.”
The above is pretty much the collective belief about Tantra.

However, for the ones who are ready in consciousness; Tantra is a whole different thing. When a true Tantric couple is united by destiny, Sex has a different meaning: It is the way to discover Love by going beyond the limits of self.

According to my reliable “sources” there was in history an example of such a tantric couple. They are well known, although; the term “Tantra,” probably wasn’t known by them.
Would you like to know who they were? They were well known for their divinity:
Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
Astonished?
It makes perfect sense. Consciousness brings the “Tantra” experience.

I am sharing this knowing that some may be revolted by this “heresy” that goes against established beliefs.
But for those who are open to “do their homework,” this may be “good news.”

Tantra IS in that sort of “divine” consciousness.
When we ARE NOT there, then “techniques,” “methods,” “practices,” “rituals,” etc . are taught. The focus is only sex. Although, pleasure maybe enhanced, there is no “open door” in their consciousness to go beyond self. 

A man cannot fully surrender to the sexual experience  or Life itself, if he was made a “master” through the use of “techniques.”

Just like “Yoga” is not what is practiced in the gym near you; Tantra is not a new fashionable method to have sex and “improve” consciousness… However, there are individuals claiming benefits from those “practices,” thus, everything is good.

Everyone aligns to a particular thing according to their consciousness. Thus, many times what we think “IS,” it may not be. It is in that experience of recognizing change, and not denying it or defending old beliefs; how change happens, how consciousness “expands.” 🙂

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The Spirituality of Human Sexuality

When individuals are trapped in the physicality of sex, the need to get rid of the sexual energy through 5 minutes of pleasure will be prevalent. For many, it is no longer enjoyable, but something that needs to be done to get back to “normal” life.
That “solution” may bring frustration as sexual energy tends to regenerate.
Others, may have a good amount of that sexual energy specially when young, nevertheless; their search for physical pleasure will unavoidably take that person in sexual energy “debt” in their older years. There will be lack of vitality.

Human sexuality as portrayed by pornography, typically shows aggression between partners. It is the frantic search for a solo pleasure even while with a partner. Violence is part of the setup, as it is to hit, grab and use abusive language towards a partner.  It is a sweaty fight, where man and woman get out empty handed, for their vitality is lessened. In that consciousness, that performance is usually labeled as “great sex.”

At that level of human sexuality, there is no awareness of the subtle energies which are created during the sexual act.
The excitement of the body/mind is concerned in reaching a peak quickly, which is known as orgasm, without giving the opportunity for the subtle energies to settle their presence, and to become conscious of it.

There is no human behavior that shows best how we truly ARE,  as human sexuality. There is no way to fake that, even while using “techniques.”

Even though so called “tantric practices” concentrate on “techniques” for the practitioners, the outcome is usually a phony event. That is no surprise as much “spirituality” is about faking the “now”: The goal is to BECOME in the “future” someone who we ARE not, some IDEAL. No guarantees. A technique will not do the trick.

Showing utmost respect and love of the sacredness of a partner is not something to fake by following the practices of a book, video or “master class.”
To be able to feel totally comfortable with ourselves and with another so the sexual embrace will be a slow dance, united by being overtaken by blissful energies which are building up through utmost relaxation… That is enlivening. That is a way to recuperate vitality. 

I want some of that! How do I get it? What do I have to “practice”?

It is the process of refining BEING. It has nothing to do with sexual practices or techniques. Those techniques ARE, for those who ARE not.
Refining BEING from the gross to subtle is Tantra.
Self Love, enjoyment of sensuality, ability to surrender to the moment, awareness of sexual energies building feelings of love… All of that does not come through a book or a class.
Deconditioning of fear based attitudes and mental blockages through beliefs are part of the “work.” AWARENESS of inner feelings over mental conditioning.
Sexuality is only the outcome, the consequence of that “work.”

DOING, acting, performing what we ARE NOT, is the basis of inner dishonesty. Our whole mentality as society is based on that. We have forgotten to acknowledge BEING, but eventually, it catches up with us. That is when a seeker is interested in finding the TRUTH of Life, but unless his own inner dishonesty is faced first, there is no chance.

The TRUTH has been always within us. Human sexuality is only a manifestation of that truth.