Category: sexuality
Tantra certification anyone?
That is an invention of our business oriented society. “Certifications” in “spirituality” are completely meaningless.
Tantra is not a bunch of information and “techniques” to “improve” sex. That idea could be sold to the masses as certification, but it is meaningless, as far as BEING Tantra.
Tantra is not for the masses, for the collective consciousness. Tantra is not something that we learn through books or classes. Tantra is a discovery as our awareness moves to a different space of consciousness. It is the reward of having lived through the polarity of experiences of many life times. It is not something to accomplish by paying a fee for a webinar or by joining an ashram.
Picture this: We sign up for a class and watch a video of the instructor having sex. What is the teaching? THIS is how you have sex! All you have to DO now is follow the instructor. That is how it works in our society: Follow the “expert.” In religions, “follow the guru.” There is an issue with that: Who you ARE is not acknowledged. What matters is to BE like someone else.
To be a fake, a knock-off is the teaching.
Someone IS anger and lust, but is taught that if he follows the “technique” correctly, he could be a “good” lover.
Someone IS cruel and violent, but we want for him to follow the compassion of Buddha.
That will not happen. BEING compassionate or loving is not a DOING. It is not a rehearsed “practice,” it is not an imitation.
Through Tantra, we let go of the mind. Without this requisite, our capacity for pleasure is limited. If our pleasure is limited, there is no fulfillment.
Of what good a technique is, when our capacity to feel pleasure is hindered?
Our capacity for pleasure does not depend on a particular activity. It is a way of BEING away from the mind, but in balance… Open to feel.
Sex is not the first thing to “talk” about in Tantra. It may be the last thing in the “subject” of Tantra, and that comes naturally and not by using techniques of any kind. It is a process like anything natural in Life.
Tantra is about BEING and NON-BEING and that cannot be given to someone through words.
Most of the articles written by Ahnanda in this blog, are about Tantra; but these are not on “how to have sex” or “how to last longer,” or “how to be a good lover.” These sharings, are not teachings.
How could someone in society, who is heavily conditioned; could experience the depth of human sexuality? That individual may need to discover and acknowledge who he IS “now,” rather than to follow some ideal of how he SHOULD BE. That person may need to be aware in such a way, as to see for himself all the beliefs, hang-ups, ideals and conditionings surrounding that which we call “I.” That liberation from that mind-driven “I” will give the empty space for pleasure and enjoyment to emerge naturally in Life, which otherwise is restrained by a conditioned mind.
Tantra is not to be taught through words, but shared through presence. It is a path for self-realization when the person is “ready” and that means, that it may not happen when “I” want it.
De-conditioning in Sexuality
As we may be aware, our society is the greatest source of conditioning. All of us have made that society throughout time. Our rules, regulations, laws, moral standards help us survive as a group, but at the same time; they could hinder us individually, in inner growth.
I am not saying that society’s conditioning is “bad.” This conditioning is necessary up to a point. Once we become aware of it, our path for de-conditioning will start. This path does not deny and reject our previous conditioned self. This path integrates all experiences: I wouldn’t be able to BE who I am now, without the experiences of who I was before. This openness, will allow us to perceive continuous newness in Life through change.
In “Tantra for the masses” as taught by “certified” individuals, the emphasis is on sex. They have “tips,” methods, practices to “improve the sexual Life of the client.”
Observe that all of that information, is put on top of a conditioned person. De-conditioning is not to “know information.” It begins in an inner realization. That is why sexual fulfillment goes hand in hand with self-realization, as it is an immediate consequence of opening the “I” from its own web of attachments (ideals, beliefs, traumas, hang ups.) Sexual fulfillment is not necessarily in having sex, but it is never in denying it.
Our capacity for enjoyment of sexuality as a sacred time, starts in the enjoyment of our own bodies. Yes, our bodies will allow us to DO things and accomplish things but, the enjoyment of it is the necessary counterpart to live a balanced Life.
Every person has a different capacity to enjoy sexuality, a different perspective of it based on their own experience. That is what we need to acknowledge. The polarity of the range of experiences is always there, to be expressed by different people.
That is why, in sexuality as in Life; we may need to learn to acknowledge who we ARE. Observe our limitations. Observe how much our beliefs stop us from exploring our pleasure. Pay attention to that. Here is where sexual de-conditioning starts.
Pornography only shows the collective consciousness. It is not “bad” nor “good.” It is a mirror expressed by actors.
There is more to sexuality than using it to express aggressiveness, anger and lust. For most sexuality is only about pleasure, but in that there cannot be fulfillment.
Fulfillment is in the union of body-mind, spirit, the whole human being. Sensations of pleasure may be enough for most, but Sexuality is one of the paths to know Love. That is to go beyond “I.”
In another realm of sexuality, to abandon yourself without using the mind to “practice it,” but as a natural consequence of the experience; is a way to get out of our mind.
The ego-mind will keep us chained into our beliefs and standards. Openness, is to let go of what we believe to be ourselves.
Sexuality offers that experience.
Sexuality has many levels according to who we ARE. While we have been conditioned to find the “right way” to enjoy sex, we never stop and see who we ARE.
As we become aware of all of our “stop” signs from enjoyment of ourselves, we could observe that without this capacity for self-appreciation in all of our physicality (body-mind,) we could not be fully ready to love another human being.
We will add more “stop” signs to their experiences than “yield” signs. It is this lack of balance the one that will bring many issues in relationships.
Life will bring opportunities to go beyond our own definitions/standards. Those opportunities are the ones equipped to shape us into our next change, our next impersonation or role in Life.
As we cling to the “old,” we will cling to our mental unchanging definitions of ourselves. We are stuck.
Sexuality and “spirituality” are about allowing the Life energy within us to move on, to cycle through, as this has a regenerative effect, a healing effect. The size of the “I” will be the obstacle. To be AWARE of that, is openness.
Inside, we may allow ourselves not to be defined, despite the outside world of definitions. That is the harmonious “act.” 🙂
Evolved Human Sexuality
There is no topic in “spiritual conversations” which draw more attention and rejection, as human sexuality does. It is paradoxical to want and desire that which we have been conditioned to reject. The other day I was engaged in a conversation about the “Hua Hu Ching,” verse 69:
“A person’s approach to sexuality is a sign of his level of evolution. Unevolved persons practice ordinary sexual intercourse. Placing all emphasis upon the sexual organs, they neglect the body’s other organs and systems. Whatever physical energy is accumulated is summarily discharged, and the subtle energies are similarly dissipated and disordered. It is a great backward leap. For those who aspire to the higher realms of living, there is angelic dual cultivation. Because every portion of the body, mind, and spirit yearns for the integration of yin and yang, angelic intercourse is led by the spirit rather than the sexual organs. Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body. Culminating not in dissolution but in integration, it is an opportunity for a man and woman to mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness. The sacred ways of angelic intercourse are taught only by one who has himself achieved total energy integration, and taught only to students who follow the Integral Way with profound devotion, seeking to purify and pacify the entire world along with their own being. However, if your virtue is especially radiant, it can be possible to open a pathway to the subtle realm and receive these celestial teachings directly from the immortals.”
The above is the origin of many religions, including the mass understanding of “Tantra.” That is techniques, methods are given for a “reasonable charge,” it is the mass compulsion to purchase everything including who you want to BE. The above, will compel those who feel “un-evolved” to DO things to become “evolved” despite their DOING not matching their BEING. That is a mirage.
In my experience, Life as well as sexuality, are journeys. Sexuality IS the expression of who we ARE.
There is no “higher or lower” sexuality, it is only what we ARE, the “now” without further labels.
If what we ARE changes, our sexuality will change as well.
Thus, the emphasis is not on techniques and methods to improve sexuality. The emphasis is on “improving” the self.
How do we “improve” the self?
Through openness to life, through awareness, through observation. No actions needed. No fees to pay. No certifications to obtain.
Life will bring those teachings according to our level of consciousness, our place in the journey of Life. Kindergarten is not less than being a college graduate, for without kindergarten there would not be a college graduate. It is a continuous, a process which will bring the range of experiences through our awareness.
In Life; there are no shortcuts. Every stage has its own timing.
Thus, importance is no longer placed in a particular stage of Life or a particular aspect of it, we may discover that our capacity to enjoy the journey is of utmost importance.
For those interested in finding a “purpose” to living, let me express that in 2 words that we may understand.
1. Enjoy 2. Learn.
Joy is an attitude towards Life. Joy will keep the child inside.
Learning the teachings of Life lessons while unlearning the conditioning of the “office world” will nourish our insight, which will bring evolution, wisdom.
It is that valuable insight which will “certify” us as being ready in Life for that “sexual angelic cultivation” when our time arrives.
If we want to find someone to teach us, we will not find anyone who truly knows.
If we want to pray to the celestials teachers to get their teachings, it will not happen.
In Life what we want to accomplish does not matter. What matters is what we are willing to go through to get that. It is through that journey how we learn, how our consciousness changes, how we evolve and gain insight.
Self-realization is not sold in best sellers. It is not taught in any retreat by certified holy masters.
If we want self-realization, we will need to give up ourselves. That is the ultimate openness to Life.
Are you willing to go through that? Perhaps not now, but believe me, your time will arrive. 🙂
The game of Sexual “problems” and “solutions.”
There is no “spirituality” without sexuality, as there is no beach without Ocean.
There is no better indicator to know “where we are” in the “spiritual” game, than to observe the way we approach sexuality.
Some religions satanize sexuality. They are not concerned on self-knowledge of who we ARE now, but only in the “ideal” of what it “should be” in the future. That gap creates all sorts of insanity.
Sex could be from the ranges of no sex whatsoever, to “a lot” if we are looking at numbers; or from unfulfilling to fulfilling, if we are looking at quality. Anything in between is also part of the human experience. Every person in this planet interprets part of that range of experiences, therefore; where is the “problem”?
The “problem” arrives when we think that we have a “problem,” at that point “solutions” are needed.
To look for “solutions” is part of fulfilling our range of experiences.
Sexuality is only an outcome of who we ARE.
Our tendency is to label an experience as good or bad, normal or abnormal; those labels full of duality, are part of playing the “game” in society.
Why sexuality has taken such a great importance for the masses nowadays?
Because it has been repressed for many centuries. Sexuality has been confined through unspoken rules into what is “right and what is wrong.”
Those traumas linger in the human psyche as experiences of many past lives.
Many individuals feel unfulfilled with their sexual lives, thus the “sexual revolution” is marketing “solutions” to improve our sexual fulfillment.
Tantra for the masses is becoming just that, a technique to be learned and practiced to become “better.” That is not Tantra at all, but Spiritual salesmen are “helping” others to achieve great things… And even they pitch about higher consciousness, enhanced awareness, the ability to be in the “now” and of course, … “Enlightenment.” Salesmen know all the “keywords.”
For most individuals, the energy behind sexuality is anger.
Unless a person is ready to go deeper to release that energy, his BEING will be anger and therefore, his sex life will be manifested as anger as well.
This transformation is what Tantra is meant to assist, when the person is ready. The word “ready” doesn’t mean that “I think that I am ready.” It means that this person has gone through the range of experiences already and Life will support that change. Our experiences in Life are not random occurrences but carefully crafted, tailored for our growth.
Sexuality could be a source of frustration and a source of bliss. Sexuality could be a source of degradation and a source of wholesomeness and elevation. That is the range.
Humans keep creating “problems” by making that range dualistic: Frustration is wrong. Bliss is good… without realizing that every experience will change by itself (when the time is appropriate) as to complete the range of experiences.
We were born with certain gifts and certain handicaps; we could understand that. But truly, those are neither gifts nor handicaps but catalysts to experience an ever-dynamic Life.
Sexuality as spirituality, does not start in a Tantra retreat. Tantra is not meant for those who can pay for a class but for those who are “ready.”
Sexuality is “output.” “Input” is what we ARE.
The paths: Accept or Deny
To get a feel of Life, we may come to arrive to 2 different perspectives which paradoxically will take us to the same place.
We are nothing.
We are Everything.
That is it. That is why, I have written in a past article, that nothing is equal to everything.
If the above cannot be understood or the selection of words were not proper, the Hua Hu Ching, mentions 2 paths:
The path of acceptance
The path of denial.
Thus, in Life acceptance equals denial.
The mind probably is confused. The above does not make sense. Acceptance cannot be equal to denial. They are opposites. Correct?
So an explanation is needed: Affirm everything and everyone. Embrace all things. Extend your goodwill to every direction regardless of circumstances. That is acceptance.
Another name?
Tantra. That is acceptance of everything including your sexuality.
Another name? Taoism, openness, surrendering.
And the other path?
Everything that we perceive and think is an illusion, supported by our limited senses and limited understanding. Peel all the veils to arrive at the oneness of all.
Another name?
Yoga. That is denial of everything to be one, to be in union, to merge, to be nothing. Another name? Buddhism, Zen.
Our society is between those paths of self-realization.
We are taught to be someone, to become someone.
We are taught to support one side of a duality and to reject the other. Choose acceptance or choose denial not both.
What is “good”? What society teaches you to be good.
What is “evil”? what society teaches you to be evil. Yet, good and evil come always together. Our rejection of one side of a duality, must be experienced sooner or later.
Have you seen that in every issue there are at least 2 sides? Right and Wrong.
Morality has an imaginary line, that keeps moving every time to protect the “right ones” and to condemn the “wrong ones.”
Another name for this path? Insanity.
Most traditional religions embrace that.
Bring a God. Reject the Devil. Both cannot live without each other. You choose one. You are someone.
Support what is “right.” Reject what is “wrong.” Fight with “someone.” You are “someone.” Another name for “Someone”? Ego.
When you are someone, you cannot be Everything.
When you are someone, to be Nothing is something to reject to be afraid of… but yet to be nothing is the way to be everything, and when “you” are everything… “you” cannot cease to BE, although, “you” are not … 🙂
Questions: Arriving “there”, Spiritual weed and Tantra
1.”You know we all are in our own personal journey of life but sometimes there is this pressure of over thinking and thinking about unfulfilled desires of life. Like I wish I could have the BEST person in my life, I wish I had a desired job, desired family members. And yet I accept it most of the times, but not all the time. Now, How a person is able to reach to a state in life where everything seems (or is) fine, it seems quite impossible you know, sometimes we are sick, sometimes emotionally disturbed, how to just get rid of all this and just BE okay with everything? Can living in present moment help? Can desires stop coming! Or I have to just detach myself from them. And finally when this duality inside is going to stop? Like the MIND should not interfere, or may we should not feel it?”
Thank you for your question.
Short answer: All of that is possible when “you” don’t exist.
if someone ask you the question above and you tell them my reply as being yours, you may be in trouble. You wouldn’t know how to support this answer, for it is not your experience. Therefore, misinterpretation is unavoidable.
For example, the above could be interpreted as:
“You should kill yourself. Once you are gone, you are happy.”
As crazy as that may sound, some philosophies have supported that. However, it is a huge misunderstanding.
Or you may hear this answer: “That is in Paradise, Heaven. It is the “reward” for being “good” here. Then, you will fulfill all your wishes.”
Many people have already asked your question. Many books have been already written about that topic and many gurus have already spoken their words of wisdom… however, things are the same. Unhappy, wishy-washy people with plenty of desires to fulfill and an overloaded mind, want the “right method” for happiness.
It is not a method. There is no “step 1, step 2, step 3” to follow.
It is a journey. Your own journey. This is not something that one man can tell or write to another. I have given you the “answer.” If you are AWARE, you may know what I am talking about, but do me a favor: Avoid telling it to others, for it will be misunderstood… 🙂
2.”There are things that the rishis and sadhus of the world use certain substances that help them being in the now for eg. Marijuana- Now this in the real world is considered Taboo- I have a small story to share about 100 years ago people in the villages and countryside folks were a happy and peaceful- in sync with nature- getting up early in the morning working in the fields, evening come back home post dinner enjoy the stars, the sky and the silence of the world at that point in time would rest and do this day in day out- no weekends, no site visits nothing- The reason- they used weed- Suddenly the government turned around and said let’s get the tobacco and the Spirits into the world- make it addictive and then lets tax the companies that sell those- on top of all let’s Ban the WEED-
Now if the above is true is there any advantage for the rishis and the sadhus to live the life of an average person say 150 years ago-
Taboo versus a tool to live life- Your thoughts please.”
Thank you for your question.
“Power Plants” like cannabis, coca leaves, etc. had a historical influence in many cultures. They have been used for many centuries for medicine, physical strength, and to move someone’s consciousness to another experience in a different realm or to have an “unreal” experience.
In the past for many aborigines, the INTENTION to use these plants were different than for most people today.
Most people today are not in tune with Nature to begin with. Thus, some want to escape their realities. Some want to experience “something new” out of boredom. The danger is obvious, as living in society means to fit in, and the experiences that a typical modern man may have with these plants may be out of control, thus; it is banned.
Our society has developed a “legal and moral” rejection to these plants. There is fear, taboo. These plants have been labeled as “evil” although that is changing as the medicinal benefits are “researched” and used for many patients who otherwise, could not have a quality of Life. Heavy control is used as to live in society means, control.
Yes, modern man can smoke weed and feel relaxed, peaceful, happy, elated, etc.
Consciousness have been shifted for a little time. That is all. Modern man wants that experience again and again as their “reality” is full of the opposite sensations and modern man does not know how to deal with it, but wants a “quick fix.” Thus, addiction happens. If you are AWARE of it, you will understand that the path of self-realization is not met through addiction, although addiction may have been an experience in the past.
Sadhus and Rishis come and go, just like Gurus. How many of them are self-realized beings? No one knows. No modern man could know. Thus, let us forget about them and what they DO and look at yourself. That is the beginning and end.
When you take a fish out of the Ocean and you place that fish into a bowl, the fish will survive for a little time. If you don’t change the water often, the fish will die sooner. Similarly, with most humans and their habitats. Surrounded by concrete, EMF, noise, sensory over stimulation and many other “comforts,” modern man is out of sync but looking for a “quick fix,” the magical pill to take and make all “problems” disappear.
3.”You have specified many times in your articles that Tantra is not for everyone, one has to be ready for it. When will I know that I am ready for it, because I personally think I am ready for it. However, through some personal research I came to know that Buddhism, Zen and Tantra are in series, like Buddhism came first and then Zen was born out of it and then Tantra. So should we go in series to explore these paths, in the way they came up or may be in reverse order! 🙂 “
Thank you for your question.
Yes. Tantra is not meant for everyone. It is not a practice nor a philosophy. It is made into those by some people for whatever their objective is: To make a new religion, to make more money or as told by many: To help others… 🙂
I have also shared that according to my experience, Tantra cannot be taught. Thus, who will teach you? What you may find are just prepackaged sexual techniques and beliefs that are changed and made “new” to cater to the masses, for profit is there. Therefore, Tantra is heavily misinterpreted. Observe the current situation of “Yoga.” Now, It is in the Gym near you…however, that wasn’t the original aim for “yoga” to exist.
It truly does not matter if you think that you are ready for Tantra. It is about what Life has in store for you, what is necessary for you to experience according to your own timing/consciousness. What is necessary for you, will appear. It may not be what you like or what you have in mind, but it will appear. Be open, aware.
If someone drops a flyer under your door offering “Tantra classes” for a fee and they give you their impressive resume of all the certifications and degrees that they have achieved and all the masters that have taught them… You may take their classes if that resonates with you… but know, that THAT is not Tantra. That is Ahnanda’s “money back guarantee.”
However, if you decide to go for it… go all the way. Explore it completely, and if it ever occurs to you that you have found your “path,” and you feel comfortable in it then you know; that the time to be open for something else has arrived. Explore any path in any order, what matters is if you ARE truly into it. That honesty will allow for consciousness to change and if you are AWARE, you will know by experiencing the process and not through second hand, wikipedia sort of information.
Tantra, Sex and Violence
In the last article, it was said: “We are donkeys pursuing carrots hanging in sticks.”
Some felt indignation for that comparison.
A donkey is a pretty impressive animal. It has helped humans throughout history in most tedious physical tasks. Stubbornness is one of its main characteristic, that is why; it will not give up in pursuing a carrot which will always be out of its reach.
If I would have said: We are like tigers, lions, eagles, dragons… that could have received lots of thumbs up. That sounds good! Every conditioned human being wants to use those animals as “totems.”
What is the common ground of all those animals?
From the outside aggression. A violent response. That is exactly how most human beings would qualify as: Violent animals.
Our society thrives in violence. Fear is part of that experience. No wonder our DOING will be impregnated with violence.
Religion was a response to that aggression. If we cannot BE kind, gentle with each other, let us at least behave; DO as a commandment says.
At the internal level, a “good” action has the color of violence in a violent individual, for BEING gives the vibe to DOING.
Want an example?
Pleasurable activities such as sex, is mostly driven by violence at this time. Sex becomes the fascinating mix of pain, violence and pleasure. We call that “normal” even label that as “making love” but be aware that the origin is our conditioning to be violent, thus; it is “normal” behavior under that conditioning.
When someone is experiencing the process of “self-realization,” there is a time to experience a deep catharsis. It is in that period when all so called “normal” but violent traits, behaviors and desires will come out in the open to dilute themselves. Those traits may have been repressed as to look and behave “good” in society, but the façade needs to go away.
At that point it may finally be discovered why, an activity meant to bring exquisite joy and vitality such as sex; becomes a “problem” for “normal” people.
Conditioning, emotional traumas, religious beliefs, and fear to express sensuality and pleasure have distorted our ability to feel, through the experience of many life times of repression.
Add to it, the unbalanced use of the mind which brings the inability of the modern man to feel pleasure while being fully present, in the “now.” The mind is in the past or the future, and that is where it will be despite the experience of pleasure and joy.
This creates great unfulfillment.
Tantra starts by diluting those accumulated traumas and fears. This will open the correct functioning of the sexual organs/ system. Opening the heart to feel, becomes very important for sex, so it acquires a whole different dimension: It is no longer just a “normal” release to satisfy the cravings of the conditioned mind, but a way to experience great relaxation, vitality and joy. That is fulfillment. This in turn, will bring a healthy, vital and centered human being, able to integrate all energies given in Life. This is what truly is a “spiritual” being.
Any “teachings” of Tantra to human beings who have not gone through the process of catharsis, will be only another method to enhance sexual pleasure, and that is the extent of it.
Yes, for many humans that is all they want out of Tantra; but what they DO is not truly Tantra; for there is no DOING of it, no method, no technique. It happens naturally.
Someone can teach a method of a breathing technique to improve our sex life. We will need to practice it and remind ourselves to DO it. It is not natural for us, although we may be told that after a while it will become natural. As mentioned many times before, DOING does not change BEING. We could remember during sex to “practice,” allowing the mind to take away the experience of the “now;” but we cannot remember to DO this breathing throughout the different events of the day.
A relaxed, open, harmonious breathing becomes natural as our state of consciousness leaves aside emotional traumas, conditioned teachings, stresses and a life of empty busy-ness.
Naturally that BEING will discover Tantra in its full extent when AWARE. For the rest, is only about “having great sex” (the icing of the cake) by taking expensive classes, reading books and lots of practice to remember the method to control ourselves, to press here and there in the body to avoid having a premature ejaculation, etc.
To each its own.
The Buddha Gautama became naturally celibate. He did not “make effort” to be celibate. It happened naturally as a process in his life.
Imitators believe that to be “spiritual” they need to be celibate just like the Buddha was. Imitators will “practice” celibacy even though it is not natural for them. They will “make effort.” They will write a commandment: “You must be celibate to be enlightened. ” This repression made into a “practice,” becomes their source of ego.
That sort of misunderstanding of the unique process of a self-realized being is made into a commandment for the masses to follow.
That ideal is truly a form a violence.
Sacred sexuality is in fashion. Sacredness starts with a person. As he is sacred through self-realization, everything he does becomes sacred. A violent individual cannot DO sacred sexuality no matter how many classes he takes about Tantra.
Exploring the Depth of Living 