Tagged: addictions

BEING conditioned

“Just BE who you are… Express yourself….Be all you can BE.”

Those catchy phrases, are very superficial… but good sellers… They are easy to understand or misunderstand. Either way, they sell because they are not deep. Believe in them or not, they are like palliative medicine.

BEING is not possible until the layers of conditioning are realized, observed, when we become aware of them.

Notice that I am not stating: “ Work on that conditioning, get rid of it, conquer it, reject it, dissolve it.”

If I say that, then that is material for a “best seller.”
It is unreal. For those who are not aware, to reject something, to DO something in order to “solve the problem” is the “solution.”

Peter likes to drink beer.
Peter may think that “He is BEING himself” if he overdrinks, for that is “natural” for him at that moment. Peter has heard that he “needs to be natural” and he likes that “concept.”

Peter gets drunk and after a few times of this, he becomes addicted.
What is the solution?
Stop drinking. Don’t allow yourself to be close to a bar. Consider the urge to be a temptation of the Devil.
Fight against your desire. Don’t allow the “bad guy” to win.
Those solutions are considered to be “good,” “moral” in our society. Peter may be sober now, nevertheless; the cause behind his addiction hasn’t been discovered.

Superficially speaking, we may say that “Peter is an alcoholic.” Peter may believe that “alcohol is bad,” but looking deeply, we may find a psychological trauma, which could be forgotten through over-drinking.

With greater depth, we may discover that trauma as a conditioning of the mind. Many “horrible” things could have happened to Peter, but he is unable to let those things go. Peter is stuck in the past and unable to move forward despite Life changes.

That trauma will define Peter’s ego.

Intellectually we may understand what is going on and we could offer the “solution” to Peter, but things do not work in that way in Life.

It does not matter how much third party information someone may have to resolve his inner issues. It does not matter if that person changes his thoughts. It does not matter if that person changes his behavior to pretend “improvement.” Any so called “change” coming from ego, is an escape from  the opportunity to be completely aware of “what is.”

He is still the same addictive personality in repressed mode.

BEING is not changed by reading, listening or doing things. There is nothing the ego, the “I” can DO to change BEING.
Because the ego is not real, although paradoxically is very real for most of us. It is an illusion that we have taken for granted. We have created a society and belief systems based on that illusion. When we AWAKEN that illusion dissolves.
BEING changes all the time “naturally” for we are one with Life; so the “intelligent” question may be: “Why that traumatic experience isn’t changing now?”
Because there is a grudge, a mental wall unable to move.
The solidity of Peter’s ego depends on that trauma to thrive.

For such person, to “Be himself” is to bring a past trauma into the present.

“What can I do?”
Nothing. BE AWARE of it. Let it go through you without trying to stop it or to change it into something “good.”
Let go of that conditioning.
Merely become completely aware of it, like a “detached observer, “ let a distance between what is going on and the observer, without that distance there is no AWARENESS. Let the sensation move through you.

“It sounds good, but I do not understand… Are you saying that to be lazy, to do nothing about it, is what is needed?”

No. Please stop interpreting. Just look at yourself through the examples.

Carlos eats fast. Carlos overeats because he is eating fast all the time.
Superficially, we may say: “ Learn to eat slowly.” “Take one spoon, count until 10 and then take another.” “Take this pill to slow your anxiety.” “Eat less, so if you become hungry, it is your fault for eating fast and you will deserve your punishment.”

However, if Carlos was AWARE of his eating, of his anxiety, of how tense his stomach is while eating, on how his mind takes him away from the “now” to a dream world here or in the afterlife…there is no way he could eat fast or slow. Carlos needs to eat alone for this realization to occur, that is how the conditioning is realized and BEING comes back without DOING anything.
Leave Carlos alone, by himself in his own solitude so there is no escape from himself.
That is a “natural” remedy.

Nevertheless, Carlos may dread to be alone, to be left all by himself… He may want “methods” to deal with his issue while having the “support” of others… He may want to take a pill, to get treatment, to follow some code of conduct, etc.
All of that is palliative medicine, but if Carlos is not ready for observation of his own conditioning; those things will be his tools to deal with his issue.

His time for self-realization hasn’t arrived yet.

Question: I’m 20 years of age. I’ve been part of BK for 1year. I joined BK because of an unexpected failure. I have been trying prevent myself being addicted to TV and internet, but in vain. Please suggest me ways to get away from it. Thank you. Om Shanti

Thank you for your good question!

Dear soul,

Welcome to the “die alive” club! Meant for those who are die hard fans of God and self-transformation! 🙂

You recognize that you have an addiction. Stop trying to stop it.
Just give your TV away for ‘free’ to a “good home.” Stop paying the internet service at home. That is all.

You cannot stop your addictions now, but you can get rid of the “triggers,” if you believe that those things are giving you sorrow in your life. That is, if you have understanding.

At that point, you will be “free” to observe your own addictions. What do you feel? What is that which is pushing you to do this? Unless there is an understanding which comes through observing the benefits of TV and internet in relationship with your spiritual life; all that you will do is suppress your obsessive “need” to watch TV and to be on the internet. That is to be “busy.”

Hint: The issue is not the TV nor the internet. The issue may reside in your addictive personality to “do something” all the time.
The feeling of boredom may arise. Welcome it. Deal with it. Be his friend. Then, it will go away by itself.

You have a good start in the BK life, you have a wonderful opportunity to “know yourself.” 🙂

Best wishes!

Question: Again with Sex -Lust as a Sin – Too much guilt feeling after listening to Murli. Why is this emphasis on characterizing Sex as Sin.. Why provide all temptations and monitor if you can resist it.. It’s a sadistic perspective – don’t u think? – Souls without this gyan may be living their day to day life, leading a simple and happy life.. #don’tknowwhattobelieve… Your thoughts bro… Say some one is Married and still suffering from some addictions.. He may act on it.. Does it make them a sinful soul who deserves 100 fold punishment.. Why and Who gets to decide what is right… Pls respond..

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,
The Murli is a talk between the Father of the Brahmin clan and his children. For a Brahmin soul at this time, sex-lust is not advised. As the Murli mentioned today; it means to “come down from a Satopradhan (pure) stage” This does not mean that other souls who want to take benefit of some other Brahmin teaching should take it personal; but just to understand the setting. This knowledge is given in a Brahmin setting.

Similarly in Christianity, there is the commandment: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” however, I guarantee you that there are many “believers” who are not following that commandment, but still sitting in mass and showing their loyalty to Christianity even though the priest may speak about this point.

Rather than “temptations” those are tests that life provides. Some are able to pass them , others are not. Just plain life.

In your example about that married person who has some “addictions; ” those addictions themselves are “100 fold punishment;” for no one can be happy when addicted to something. You depend, you are subservient, you cannot be without it. That state does not only will make someone unhappy but also their dear ones.

Addictions, specially sexual addictions have no end. There is always more to try, something new, exciting…in the meantime your own life strength gets depleted. Your will power is gone. How can that life of dependency be a “happy life”?

There is no one who gets to decide what is “right or what is wrong.” Everything is just “cause and effect.”
If you feel sorrow of any kind, you know that something needs to improve.

Best wishes!