In search of aloneness
Most dread the thought of being alone. There is fear of loneliness. Their time to look inside, has not arrived yet…Loneliness becomes aloneness. Fulfillment is there
The “normal” basic teaching is the following:
Everything you are looking for is outside of you. Search and get it.
Want happiness? Get it from over there. If that doesn’t work, try something else.
Want love? Get into a relationship with someone. If that doesn’t work, try harder next time…
Want to have insurance for the afterlife? Get to know God. Flavors may vary according to the shop you visit.
Want to hang on to something just for the sake of companionship?
Yes…. all of those things are “outside” of you.
As “seekers” went “outside,” another teaching came up, the “opposite:”
The “experts” conclude: “It makes sense. It is important, etc, etc. “
Let us talk about it. Let us make an intellectual ideal of what is like to “know thyself.” Let us come up with a method to “reach there.”
However, very few are willing to pay the price.
To know thyself, you must experience what is like to be alone…how loneliness changes into aloneness.
Because until and unless you are perfectly comfortable with your own self, without company, without a support group, without someone to lean on… until that point hasn’t been reached, we will dependent on something or someone. It is that dependency the one that will bring suffering when that which has given us support at one point in the past, is gone.
This does not mean that tomorrow I will look for the cave near me and stay there for a month, or that I will reject every individual close to me for they will bring “attachment.” That is a misinterpretation and a compulsive behavior.
It is the price to pay when “doing” before “being.”
The inner lie may go something like this:
“ I stayed alone in a cave for 1 year.” “ I was in complete silence for 365 days.”
Impressive!… and what is what your mind was “doing” during that time?
Crying? Counting the days? Toughen it up? Miserable time, huh?
Yes, it is a great story to impress “others.” Something to put in our resume for “guru-hood,” but nothing else.
As long as there is no natural enjoyment of that experience, we are completely fakes.
Enjoyment is the keyword at every step in Life.
The experience of being alone will come to every single one of us at its own time. The length of time will be different for everyone, but when it comes; if we try to run away, we will be in despair.
For instance, observe a relationship in your Life. What is the “worst” that could happen?
Perhaps that our partner may leave. If you are not comfortable with yourself, you will suffer in a proportional amount of your attachment.
Some religious groups have misinterpreted the above, by supporting a lifestyle of not having human relationships for the sake of being alone, with the “goal” of avoiding suffering, without realizing that to suffer may be part of the necessary process to change our consciousness. Suffering is not “bad,” but many times…necessary.
To learn to respect the process of suffering of the self and others is part of learning in Life.
Life is relationship. But the first and most important relationship is with your own self.
Your body, your self-perception, your mental health, your tranquility… all of those are important to be in balance.
If someone is continually hurting himself by denying or sabotaging himself the gifts of health, serenity and mental stability; how is it possible for that person to love another?
It is impossible, unless we mean by “love” to be jealous, angry, violent and moody with our partner. That is the “normal” stuff.
The “outside” is never to be blamed for the issues that we have “inside,” for the outside is the inside.
To go into the experience of aloneness is not a life style. It is a natural path to inner knowledge, for the one who is ready. For the one who is not ready, it may be a miserable experience.
Life will bring sooner or later that experience to us. There is no need to join a religious group for this, just to be aware that is happening.
Enjoyment of our own company is the most spiritual thing someone could “practice.”
Love what you consider to be yourself. Treat it well. Give it “quality time,” then we could be ready for others in our Life.
Looking for others to fulfill what we lack, is the romantic trap that we have learned.
We can only give to others what we ARE. If we are empty of neediness, we have the whole world to give, there will be fulfillment.
Embrace your aloneness. It is something to cherish, it is the opportunity to be wholesome… One.
To be alone and to be in company are 2 extremes of the same rope. We hold on to one extreme… eventually, we will reach the other. We become attached to one experience, there will be suffering when it is time to let go and reach the other side… 🙂
Alone from thoughts – Adyashanti
“Being alone, by myself
A company of my own
My business is loneliness
And my song, to be alone”
Avyakt7 was able to hear about 50 minutes of this talk, and highly recommends it for those who are looking for a different perspective of the “truth” without beliefs. 🙂
Adyashanti has a Zen Buddhist background; however, with the cultural understanding of someone coming from a “modern” society.
In the map of “oneness,” there are many fingers pointing to the map, but our understanding depends on walking our particular path…
Below some food for thought 🙂
“I confess that there is nothing to teach: no religion, no science, no body of information which will lead your mind back to the Tao. Today I speak in this fashion, tomorrow in another, but always the Integral Way is beyond words and beyond mind. Simply be aware of the oneness of things.”
Hua Hu Ching CH 8
“In practice, Bap and Dada are such constant companions that you cannot separate them, even if you wanted to: sometimes you experience the companionship of both to be so close that it is as though they are one. In the same way, the company between two should be that of oneness: not that you are one, but that you are equal.”
Avyakt BapDada July 11 1974
“The Tao gives birth to One.
One gives birth to Two.
Two gives birth to Three.
Three gives birth to all things.
All things have their backs to the female
and stand facing the male.
When male and female combine,
all things achieve harmony.
Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it,
embracing his aloneness, realizing
he is one with the whole universe.”
Tao Te Ching Ch 42
“The Truth is One; Sages name it variously…”
“Let there one strength and one support, and one teacher. Neither follow the dictates of one’s own mind, nor the dictates of others. Follow the instructions of One and experience the sweetness of One. There should not be sweetness in any other individual or object. If there is oneness in this way, the soul loves solitude, and going into the depths of one – the soul loves the word “one”.”
Avyakt BapDada November 23, 1989
Question for June 17, 2013 – Jealousy
Though in gyan , sometimes the old sanskar of jealousy does crop up and i get into negative thinking , when “people close to me become close to others ” so after reminding myself that each one role is fixed in drama and i cannot expect ,i need to have a broad mind etc etc,,i tend to cope up of the situation.But i see bcoz of this dramatic hush of emotions ,i found that while in sleep ,have continuous dreams ,not able to wake up in the morning as the dreams are continuing….my question is what actually is happening and how can i change for better.
Thank you for your question.
Emotions are indeed a powerful means to re-live the past with added events or even to create anxiety about the future.
A strong emotion while awake could continue on while you sleep as dreams.
The issue is to be able to observe when an emotion comes up. For instance, your voice may change. You may become excited or physically you may feel a pain or a new sensation.
Most of the time, those emotions appear unchecked. The easiest way to become conscious of their appearance is to experience a peaceful stage. Allow yourself to experience aloneness, to be away from everything and feel that stage of being. For me, I find that when I am in Nature or after a profound meditation.
Maintain that stage of being as much as possible by being aware of it. Then, when an emotional trigger comes up, you will be able to realize that is there, because it changes the way you feel.
That is all. Once you know it is there; just acknowledge its presence. No need to call that emotion with names.
There is another way to go over emotions or the triggers of those things which cause emotions, and that is by experiencing “emptiness.” When you are “empty” those emotions will pass through you, so you will not react. That is your mind is calm to the extent that thinking becomes very slow, almost none and you are “busy” experiencing that “sweet” emptiness.
Let us talk about jealousy.
Jealousy is a sense of not feeling secure. It is fear in disguise. With jealousy there is a sense of wanting to posses that which we are afraid will go away or comparing with another and feeling “lower than.”
That sensation creates the emotion. If that emotion is strong, it will continue affecting you even through your unconscious.
Anything you may think about that “could happen” is just an illusion.
Trying to go across the river through your thoughts without actually getting into the bridge to go over, is an illusion.
To live in the past or the future are illusions.
em>Om Shanti Bhaiya.. I had written to you about my question in the last week. Can you please reply for the same brother.. I repeat my question : What is the difference between power and silence?
Your question has been answered here: