“I myself have the habit of worrying and causing anxiety to myself. Can you shed some light on the root cause of worrying and how can I heal myself and bring myself out of it. As you mentioned, first step is observation. Would you discuss more ?”
Thank you for your question.
We have been conditioned to believe that we can deal with Life with a methodology, steps to follow. We are looking for a root cause of things, believing that we can get rid of it, modify it at will, as when we deal with things in our society: To accomplish something in society may require steps; “real” Life does not work that way. Otherwise, psychologists should had provided with “methods” to get out of worries and anxiety long ago, but that is not the case.
Emotions, psyche and any personality “gifts” that we may have and society overvalues or despises, are part of Life. We believe that we are separated from Life and that “I” can make deep changes in “me,” to change things the way “I want.” We need to find out the extent of that belief.
That is the first thing to realize.
The second aspect, is that words do not solve anything. For instance, the root cause of anxiety and worries is an over importance of self, as the center of the Universe. That importance is created in the mind and that “program” drives our memory “chip.” Take away the memory chip and you don’t know who you ARE, then anxiety and worries are no longer there. Can we remove the “chip” at will?
That “understanding” of the “root cause” will not solve the issue of anxiety or worries. Do we see that? However, some people will make themselves unconscious through heavy drinking or the use of drugs or any other “easy fix,” not realizing that all they are DOING is removing that SELF from the picture. The memory chip is temporarily removed in a violent way, with consequences; of course.
Third, when we have a “goal in mind” such as getting rid of anxiety and worries, THAT will not allow us to OBSERVE what IS.
When we OBSERVE what IS without verbalization, without trying to compose paragraphs to explain to others what “I realized,” then; OBSERVATION is happening.
I could feel my shoulders tighten up. The AWARENESS of that feeling in itself, will allow a sudden decompression. I do not have to mentally repeat “ I want to relax” or “my goal is to be relaxed.”
An episode of worries and anxiety comes to your Life. Are you AWARE the moment these things arrive? If you are, then notice the extent of importance that you give to “your” thoughts.
Notice the IDENTIFICATION of those thoughts with “YOU.” Notice how you BELIEVE in those thoughts and how they affect your emotional state into anxiety. Those emotions will feed further creations of thoughts and so on, increasing the “problem.”
If you were fully AWARE, then the grip of these episodes will loosen up, naturally.
In Life everything is gradual for otherwise, it could be violent. Thus, changes when natural; are gradual too.
When we are trapped in the same environment of noise, technology and over thinking, there is very little OBSERVATION that could happen. Even less AWARENESS.
If you remove yourself from that environment and spend sometime in a natural setting, such as the beach or a park (the more rustic, the better) and fall in love with that setting, then when you go back to the noise and “progress” you will be AWARE of the contrast, you will be AWARE of your mood changes and for how long you can remain “sane” before “insanity” arrives.
Thus, OBSERVATION improves when there is a CONTRAST experience.
As you could see, there is no “easy fix.” It is a journey, which you could only share if you are AWARE of the changes. There will be changes as Life is change. That is the guarantee.
You will need to BE your own detective to fully understand what I mean when using here the words OBSERVATION and AWARENESS; I suggest reading articles with those keywords in the search box of this blog. If you feel that I haven’t given a concrete answer to your question, here it is: OBSERVATION / AWARENESS is the cure. Higher doses of it, means a quicker “recovery.”
All the best.
Nowadays, bacterias and viruses aren’t the only providers of disease. The quality of our emotions will greatly influence our health.
Different emotions will trigger different chemicals in our body. When we are young, our bodies have the ability to hold on certain emotions, even though detrimental to our health. As we age; the importance of recognizing the flow of emotions in our selves becomes extremely important.
Anxiety, anger, worries, uncertainty, over thinking… all of those “modern diseases” will affect the quality of our health.
Every one of us may have felt these. These emotions are not “bad.” Those emotions need to be allowed to be felt but at the same time, they should be allowed to leave.
This is the key . We are not sponges. We are mirrors and as we self-realize, we become doors and windows.
We have been taught through many years of repressive “spirituality,” that we should not feel certain emotions. That practice will hurt us.
Observe Nature. A duck will fight with another duck. After that event, the duck will flap its wings. Then things will continue as “normal.”
It is true that in our society there are consequences for expressing our anger. There are “acceptable levels,” however; for a seeker it becomes important to OBSERVE the emotional energy going through us and create a “space” and effectively, disassociate from that energy.
For instance, in dealing with certain personalities, it may be important to show our anger. Nevertheless, our “liver” should not pay the consequences and our mind should not take that episode for the next day or week or month or year, unable to let go.
Things happen. It is a “now” thing. Afterwards, it is a different reality altogether.
When we are not OBSERVANT of the build up of emotions, we will identify with them, we will believe that “I AM ANGER,” “I was angry,” “You made me angry” we say rather than, “I FELT ANGER.” As it is felt, it goes away.
Flap your wings and let it go.
For many individuals, it is hard to eat after an episode of anger. If they eat, their stomach will feel upset. Others, are capable of enjoying their meals right after an episode of anger.
What is the difference?
The level of IDENTIFICATION. How much our mind recites the incidents? For how long? That is what we may need to be AWARE of, to OBSERVE in ourselves.
As we master this “skill,” there will be a level of energy “regulation” built in. This will arrive as we OBSERVE every episode in our lives rather than repress or label that as “this is good or this is bad.”
It is of paramount importance to learn to OBSERVE ourselves as if we were following someone else: We will notice movements, emotions, triggers, ego and we can contrast that with the certainty that Life is a game, for sooner or later; Life only reflects back our beliefs. Would you rather play or worry?
In Life, nothing lasts forever. That is a “good” thing.
“Hi Dear Brother Avyakt7
I just want to know how to think in easy way. and how do i can remove fear from my mind. Lot of fear come into my mind when ever i want to give any kind of exams (Written and Computer). During interviews i get lot of fear sometime I shiver my hands and body become completely cold due to fear. Any situation which create negative impact creates fear in my mind. Please let me know how i can remove fear from my life completely. I tried lot to build confidence in me but fear create lot of problems in my whole life due to which i have lack of confidence. Please response me the solution of my problem and what should i have to do to resolve this problem in my life.”
Thank you for your question!
Facing our fears is the way to go over them.
What you have described as “fears” are really anxieties and anguish due to a perceived “pressure.”
You have an expectation to “do well” (pressure) in an exam, in an interview or in any other circumstance. Perhaps you need recognition from others, perhaps you need re-assurance of your own worth and you are afraid of not doing well, perhaps the pressure comes from economical reasons.
When a circumstance occurs which will put your belief about your own self-esteem into a test, fear to fail appears.
What is troubling you is not fear itself to fail but your mental anxiety and anguish. Your body reacts when you feel that emotion.
The above is just a description so you can see where the issue comes. Your own inner work is to go back to the source, look into your life, when that started.
I’d suggest to go by the Ocean/rivers/lake in a tranquil environment by yourself, just watch the waters move and allow your thoughts to become quiet by hearing the sounds of Nature and the ocean. Once your mind has slowed down and you feel serene, start looking in yourself for that episode when you did not feel that you were worth unless you demonstrated something to someone. You may need to do a lot of digging, but you will find that event.
Perhaps your mother had a strong personality which gave you some insecurity. Perhaps your father wanted to live through you by encouraging you to be “successful.” Perhaps you felt that their love came through your “success.”
Once you find it, send your best feelings to that person (yourself in the past or the person who triggered this experience or both) without judging that person.
This is the emotional and psychological work to be done.
Intellectually, a test to take or an interview is just a circumstance. Avoid the trouble of thinking about a particular event until it comes. Do not cross the river before you get to the bridge.
That will take care of your anxiety. Observe your mind. How your mind is taking you to a future which does not exist yet. Observe how there could be negative thinking and worries due to your insecurity, but at the same time; see that whatever happens, whatever the outcome is, you are still “alright.”
If you make mistakes, that is life. Learn from that and move on. No expectations, but the opportunity for you to see your own “progress.” Expectations are illusions, which will only add pressure and thus, anxiety and anguish.
What you call fear.
The basic rule to remember is that your state of mind needs to be tranquil, calm; thus get acquainted with that. That is the greatest practice that you can have for that will “cure” you of that anxiety and anguish. Be conscious, aware of that anxiety.
Finally, any other “natural help” is recommended. From herbs to relax you, to acupuncture, Bach flowers or even Tibetan singing bowls sessions to get you to a state of relaxation where you can clearly recognize your change into anxiety. Once that recognition is there, it will be easier for you to go back to tranquility, calmness.
Learn from that experience and let us know what you found out.
Best wishes! 🙂
Thank you for your question!
The typical “normal” anxiety is manifested as fear, worry or being unease about something uncertain in the future.
In a nutshell, an anxious individual is living in the “future,” rather than the present. Moreover, there is no certainty that worries will manifest.
Worrying doesn’t solve issues.
The word which describes this, is to be “preoccupied,” that is to be busy (mentally) before “being” actually busy.
Typically, anxious individuals would like to control their environment, control exactly how something “should be.” The practice that would help is to be “aware” and catch those moments when you start feeling anxious. At that point, you will drop your thoughts on that issue.
Knowledge is telling us to “perform actions” as karma yogis but not to think about their outcome. Those actions come from being in the present, in the “now.”
If you could be totally aware that your “now” manifests your future, you would be engaged in making the “now” as meaningful as possible, so the future is taking care of, automatically.
If the words: “the Drama is beneficial for all,” resonate with you, the outcome will not be a source of anxiety, for you will know that “it is the best thing that could happen.”
Live life by being fully present, and let the Drama take care of the rest.
Again, i would recommend to read the “power of now” from page 35, for a good description of the problems of living outside the “now.”