Tagged: apology

Too much I-ness

The master and his disciple took a taxi to go back home from downtown. Once the taxi arrived, both entered the property. A few minutes later, the taxi driver rang the bell and knocked at the door of the house frenetically.

The disciple opened.
The taxi driver said: “ My cell phone is gone. I had it with me. I think you stole it. I want to talk with your master.”

The master overheard the conversation and went to the door. The taxi driver told him outright that his phone has been stolen.
The taxi driver then said that he left his phone within reach of the back seat of the car.

The master asked: “Do you leave your phone near the back seat?” The driver said that this time he did.

The master told him that neither him or his disciple had his cellphone.
The taxi driver was furious. He went away.

After half an hour, the taxi driver came back. He saw the disciple outside and said to him: “Look, I want to apologize with you and your master. I found my cellphone. I left it in my house. I feel bad about it and want to talk with your master.”

The disciple went inside the house and looked for the master.
“Master!!” he said. “The taxi driver want to apologize with you. He found his cellphone. He said that he feels bad about the incident.”
The Master heard the story and did not go outside to see the taxi driver. The disciple was confused. Why his master wouldn’t accept the apology?
After a couple of hours, the master observed the face of his disciple. It had a big question mark.

The master said: “The answer is – too much I-ness.”

To apologize means to recognize that we made a mistake. It is a duty to bring that up once we find the mistake within our judgment. In that way we learn about our inaccuracies and shortcomings. We learn not to take our beliefs and inner mental chats too seriously.

However, when we apologize because “we feel bad,” we are not doing this as a recognition of our mistake. We are being compelled to soothe our own feeling of guilt. It is about ourselves and not the other. “I made a mistake and projected it to another. I feel bad about it. I want redemption from that emotion, despite the fact that I created it.”

It is all about ME.