Tagged: being hurt

Question: Once my friend’s senior complained the higher authorities about his official performance. When my friend came to know about it, he tried to know the exact reasons/grounds for the same complaint from his senior. But that senior, never gave any reason for it despite a lot efforts made by my friend. My friend genuinely tried to get the feedback of his senior so that conflicts/misunderstanding can be resolved to enhance team as well as individual performance. I could not understand, why my friend’s senior did not talk to him personally, fairly and clearly? Why did he spread bad words about my friend’s personal and professional life in office in his absence. Why did that senior keep on changing his statements every time my friend tried to resolve the issue? I believe Honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts. My friend is hurt. Kindly explain the both parties’ stand in relation to honesty. Thanks a lot.

Thank you for your question!

Honesty is one of those words that we like to throw at someone so we can feel “right” about things.
In Gyan, we know that everything is “cause and effect.” There is a “cause” for your friend to feel and experience what he is experiencing. Likewise, whatever his “senior” is doing, will have a consequence. That is the way it works. There are no “victims;” therefore, to take sides is not advisable.

At the same time, everyone has their own perception of what they are willing to “fight for.” That is in their roles. Your friend may fight for something that his “senior” will avoid and defend.

Honesty is related with a congruence of thoughts, words, actions and feelings. When they are the same, we are being honest. When there is a discrepancy on any of those, we are “acting.”

In other words, if you want to be “bad”…be bad 100%. Don’t hold back. You’ll pay the price of your activities, but you will be “honest” with what you feel, think,talk and act.

The same applies if we want to be “good.” The unfortunate state of affairs is that we are “mixed,” that means that we are not truly honest as you can appreciate in the story that you just shared.

Best wishes!