Tagged: blame

Ending the guilt-blame game

Life is not our adversary. We are Life itself.
If we try to define who “we are,” we will only restrict the beauty of “what is.”

A tree is meaningless without the earth, the sky, the birds; it is all togetherness.
Therefore, if we blame others; we blame ourselves.
What you give out, you will collect.
Some call that “karma,” but it is not. We cannot try to deceive Life through “good actions” when our feelings do not correspond with the “holiness” of our actions.
Therefore, what we give out through our feelings (intention) is what we shall receive.
That is no longer “karma” (action.)

That is how we arrive at the importance of emotions and feelings and perhaps we leave the realm of thinking, analysis and logic as useless tools for inner observation.

They are completely useless.

To acquire intellectual knowledge is good but when we deal with our feelings/emotions, that knowledge is useless. It will take us into lying to ourselves just to fit what we think is “right,” “holy” or “pure.”

Things happen , there are consequences. Whether we feel guilty or not, the consequences will be felt based on the intention.

That is what we call “Life lessons.” Living Life. Live and learn.

“But the fact is that he cheated on me.”
Yes, that is the fact. Observe how you FEEL about that.
FEELING lousy is the way not to forget. A trauma is made. A new distressing emotion built.

Would you keep that poison inside?
Some will. Nothing wrong with that for eventually suffering will make us awake.
Perhaps we may lose some valuable time in that process?
That is known as “paying the price” of the free lesson.

In the “Office world” we play with paper money and give that paper utmost value. In Life, we pay the price through spending our valuable time, our Life.

True “Spirituality” is not learned through books, religions or holy ones. It is learned every day in Life as we become aware of this game of existence, but when we are not aware, we may need the above.

“Spirituality” is living Life itself. There is no difference.
Some may awaken with a gentle whisper. Others, may require cold water to be thrown at their faces to wake up.

The “other” could do that favor to you. The “other” will be the trigger.
Wouldn’t you be grateful of the “other” then? To do that means to change our perspective, our awareness, our consciousness.

Blame and Guilt dissolve by acknowledging the experience of the self -created ghost.
Things do not happen because we want them to happen but rather because they are meant to happen. We are not separated from Life.

Thus, Blame and Guilt exist as deep and unforgettable as we want them. That ghost is our own creation…. just like paper money in the “Office World.”

The issue is “Me.”

Once we start our “spiritual” search, the “I” is a pretty strong fellow.

The “I” is always innocent. The problem is with the “others.”
Blame to “others” will arrive as events are not happening the way we want it, or the way they “should.”

After some experience of suffering, we may be willing to see Life from a different perspective; then our search for answers may take us to the opposite view:

The problem is with “Me.”
Welcome to your new “spirituality.”
What a shift, huh?

In awareness, we could observe how we go from one extreme into another. Yes, it is the “Black or White” mentality.
What makes that change?
Again, typically is the experience of unbearable pain, sorrow.

The greater is the extent of that “I,” the greatest suffering will be experienced to break that “I” apart.

For example, jumping from one relationship into another due to the feeling of pain, we may search for the psychologist, the priest, the holy one as a desperate attempt to find “answers,” just to hear the same song: “The problem is you.”

At that point we may shift the blame game and we become the victim and the perpetrator at the same time.
Guilt arrives.
We need “healing.”

Do we see the game?

If we understand this Guilt/Blame game and we could see how guilt arrives, then could we say that feeling guilty is “real”?

Yes and No.
Yes, we can feel it even though it is a ghost.
We created that phantom based in our upbringing while being surrounded by players of the “blame game.”
The blame/guilt game is continually reinforced in our society, our beliefs and values. We may become paranoid of doing some action as that may bring guilt/blame.

Perhaps the above is crystal clear for some. Even though it may be understood intellectually; when the time comes and Life throws a particular experience at us, we will not remember what we theoretically “know.”

Moreover, even if we read this article 1000 times; it will not help us to deal with the surprising “test” from Life.

Why?
Because our emotions are the ones affected and our emotions are not interested in intellectual stuff.

Do we see that?

What is the solution?
Become aware of the emotion and release it. Let it go.
How that happens?
That is our personal path.
Releasing a particular emotional energy at one time such as feeling guilty, does not mean that the guilt/blame game will not recur again in a different form, a different way. That is known as a “recurrent energy.”

We may need to observe what is happening in ourselves and allow for those emotions to dissolve by itself through our own feeling of openness to “others.” It is in our relationship with “others” how we know if a recurrent energy is affecting us or not. If it has been healed or not.

Observe how the emotion of anger or fear comes in. Feel how those energies will be used against ourselves, in our every day activities, which in turn will sabotage what we truly want for ourselves in Life.
We will become our own enemy, not the “other.”

Allow yourself to be vulnerable and not defensive. Observe the process and be mindful of the time needed for healing to occur by itself. If you close doors that come to help you, suffering will be extended.
Life has different ways to extend that help. Take it and do not judge it.

Openness is the key for our perception of reality to change.
That is known as forgiveness.
To forgive yourself and to forgive others, is perceived as 2 different things in the “normal,” spiritual/religious use of the word.
In reality, it is only a childish lesson to strengthen the existence of the “I.”

“I am so good. I am forgiving you.” Observe how insane is for you to divide yourself into 2 so you can forgive yourself.

Allow for a different perception of Life to sink in. That is all. Forgiveness is to allow for a different perception to appear in your consciousness.

Openness happens when there is an empty space in us available for newness to arrive.
We need that emptiness. We are emptiness.

That “seat” becomes empty, because an emotion /belief was released.
That may be the whole magic behind the word “healing.” It is the process to emptiness.