Tagged: change

It is matter of perspective

While the “office world” embraces a “black or white” approach, where “good and evil” are separated by a line which everyone knows about; but no one can “define” its limits; Life itself, Nature, is free from those mind made concepts.

What is “good”? We could expand into many words to explain the idea. It is way easier to use its opposite to define it: It is the absence of evil, bad.
Although, I haven’t said anything helpful; for most minds accustomed to words, definitions and concepts; I have given the “right answer.” 🙂

Life is not about answers. It is about experiences.
In Life, everything happening to the “I” is completely neutral. It is only a way for further change.
“So, you didn’t get the job you applied for and that you wanted so bad… That is too bad! Perhaps you need to work on the “law of attraction” a bit more to manifest your desire… Or you may want to work on some “flexible awareness” and be “flexible about the possibilities…”

To use concepts to practice them, will never make a change in yourself, in BEING flexible. It will only make you think that you are changing, by changing your behavior when you remember to practice the concept. Obviously, this will not sell any books.

If you didn’t get the job, that means that the experience of it, will introduce further change in you. It will sneak out, because when your mind knows what is going to happen next; there cannot be change.

That is why, the mind likes static things. The mind relies on the unchanging “I.”
“Why?”
Because the ego becomes solid. It exists.
“Please God… Make me rich as hell…” You could pray all you want. If that happens or not, it does not depend on “you.”

Causality is the “law” behind every movement, every change. The “I” is completely unaware of that, for the “I” is busy getting things which he has been conditioned to.
“I will work hard to get that Mercedes Benz AMG S65 – Cabriolet. I just got to have it!”

Sure. Get 3 jobs. 8 hours each. If you have “obstacles,” you could indulge in some nefarious activities… Just don’t get caught! You are only guilty, if you are caught!

The “I” will fight, scream, struggle with Life, to get that damn Mercedes… Remember not to tint the windows, so people can see you driving it. Yeah, it is about the “status.” Your conditioning has been quite successful. Congrats!

Life is completely impervious to that wish. It may happen? Yes. But that is not the end of the story. You see, there is no “happy end” here. Life is a continuous of experiences. It is not like the movies or soap operas with an artificial end. The Mercedes could be an instrument for further change, and perhaps the “I” is not ready to accept that yet. That rejection will bring suffering for sure.

By all means, get your Mercedes. That may be a needed experience; however, be AWARE of the continuity in Life. BE AWARE that what you think you possess today, may not be here tomorrow. It is a matter of time. 
That is how we learn to enjoy the “now,” not as a concept but through experiences.
Enjoyment is not something that “I have to DO.”
Enjoyment is something that “I AM.”
That change comes about, when the cocky self realizes that he cannot control Life; at that moment to be humble is no longer a practice, a concept… you ARE. Congrats!  🙂

The “choice” of guilt and forgiveness.

We have no choice. How do you like that?

Many will react to this statement, mostly those who have no idea of what the “I” is. Their dreamy world continues on with all the “choices” they are making.
Is your intelligence your choice?
How about your looks? How about your consciousness?

“Spirituality for the masses” continues on making followers believe that “We can change our consciousness. We can change world consciousness.” That sort of material is sold to many, for most “like the idea” that “I am control. I am in charge.”
The question is, control of what? The “office world”? Of course. That is meant to cater the egocentric need of the mind. However, the things that matter such as health, aging, intelligence, psychological readiness, consciousness, awareness and Life and Death… Those things are completely out of “our” control. How do we like that? What the “office world” can do about it? Perhaps offer insurance, power, money to control those things?

The “I” can only change behavior. “I” can behave according to what my mind recognizes as being “good,” however, that is no change at all. Nevertheless, our society, our understanding and morality is only concerned with behavior. The mind is required for that, thus; the “I” is there. “Spirituality” based solely on change of behavior is infantile.
Honesty is not shown in behavior. Who we ARE could be hidden behind the action.

Awakening is not an easy thing. Picture that you are deeply asleep and someone is nagging the heck out of you to wake up… What do you do? What is your “choice”?

“I can bend my left pinky, that is my choice!”
Yes…but go deeper. Who made the choice? It was the mind. It had a reason, even if that is to prove me wrong. That reason hides the “I.” Otherwise, your pinky moves without your awareness. It is automatic.  Have you noticed that?

The mind creates a static entity and separates it from Life. It even separates your pinky from the rest of the body, when in reality your pinky needs a hand and the hand needs an arm and the arm needs a body and the body needs a “something” to be alive…but we never stop and ask: Who is that “I”? and most important, Where is it?
Yes, we can believe all sort of things and even call it with names such as “soul,” just to stop our inquire, but that is superficial. Observe that there is no difference between that “I” and what we call mind. Observe that the contents of the mind and therefore, the “I” cannot bring newness for the mind is a repository of things that we have accumulated. We see the world and ourselves through that lenses.

Humans as well as all living beings are agents for change. Life manifests change through all living organisms.
The paradox is that we are needed exactly as we are… but what we are, does not depend on us.  It is related with consciousness.
Take away choice,  and free will goes down the drain… but it is not that “bad” for guilt, shame and forgiveness… all of that goes along with it, flushed down the toilet… There is more, but that is up to you to find out.      🙂

 

Let it flow

“Flowing” in Life cannot happen while we maintain our ideal of what it “should be.”
The most important item to unlearn is the idea that “I am someone.”
Look at yourself in the mirror. Observe all the labels coming from your mind to define “you.” Some may be stuck with the image of a brainy lawyer, others with the image of a 24 x 7 Mom and yet others with the image of a self-defined punk.

Out of that image, comes the behavior to support the ideal. That behavior will be our activities, our actions.
That is how religions and psychological systems created to change individuals, assume that by changing the perception of our image, our behavior and actions will change.
Yes… the individual will change superficially through defined actions by a system and he will be stuck in that “mental” box of artificial change, unable to BE  who he truly is or someone else… Although Life roars for change.

That is the problem with hard core belief systems and strong father/mother/spouse figures: I may be busy changing my image to be what my religion thinks an angel or a saint should be or a good son or daughter or wife or husband should be. I may change my behavior to try to match that expectation. I may act purposely to fit the ideal… But the bottom line is that “I AM” not that. It is rehearsed, artificial, manipulative, calculating… all mind created.
Because “I am not” that, a strong dissonance will arrive to the ideal “I should be,” for it will not fit the growth, the change coming from within.

Those willing to “suck that up,” convinced that “I should not change no matter what,” those are not living Life. Those are already death in their stubbornness. Enjoyment is an experience away from their experience.

Fear of change is their Life. There cannot be “flowing in Life” under fear.

To flow means that the “I” is immersed in Life, as a drop of water in the Ocean.
Observe and feel in your gut, what is your calling at this time. Once something else arrives in Life, observe, feel and act if called for.
If we believe that because we acted in one way in the past, we should act the same way in the future to be consistent, then your mind is defining you and that definition will not allow you to flow in Life.

That is how the struggle of living Life appears. The “I” wanting to remain unchanged, when everything is change.

Please observe this: “I used to do that, when I was younger. Now I can’t.”
That is not because “you” are older. That is because “You” are not the same. Are you willing to observe that “You” are never the same?

“I divided my fortune between my 2 sons equally. That is fair.”

Fairness in Life is not a mathematical equation. Give to each according to their needs, but that sort of fairness, requires for us to be able to feel, to connect to be empathy and not just to use our mind. This sort of fairness is not understood by many. Are we willing to dispel our belief in mathematical fairness?

“I say that Sex before marriage is a sin.” “I say that Sex is a sin.” “I say that Sex is …”

Sex is not a sin.  Sex is just Sex. The sin resides in what you feel about it. We cannot change our true feelings, we can only fake that we are changing what we truly feel. Observe that in yourself.

Allow for that one who defines and asserts opinions and beliefs, to be “wrong.” Allow for Life to show you something different. That openness will bring a flow, for there is nothing in this Life that could be qualified with some word, without the possibility of using the opposite word (antonym) for the same item at the same time.

It just depends on how you feel. 🙂

 

As it is outside, it is inside.

The experiences that Life may bring to us are in correspondence with who we ARE.
Our perception of the world is according to those experiences.
Whatever we perceive from the outside, it is a reflection of the inside. Therefore, outside and inside are equal.

The labels, “outside” and “inside” are formalisms, a way to preserve the duality ingrained in our minds.

Our minds have saved some experiences in a compartment with the label “righteous” in it. That is the model, the ideal to shape up the “reality” of the outside which only mimics the “inside,” that is who we truly ARE.

For instance, there is violence, an unjust perception which needs to be changed “now.” The price of changing something “now,” is violence and further injustice.
The mind could understand that “Life is change.” But the mind cannot understand that there is a process for change in any direction.
The “I” of the mind is unwilling to allow for the process to take effect, since there is an ideal of “righteousness” in the mind to attain, “right now.”

We may have an ideal of a “better world,” but that ideal cannot become a reality for us because we ARE not that.
The “I” who IS not in tune with a “better world” wants change that doesn’t fit who he IS. The “inside” does not match the idealized “outside.”

Thus, “Spiritual talk” about MAKING a “better world,” is just pretty talk, for BEING does not change by DOING. Nevertheless, that talk could be inspirational.

How could there be change of BEING?
It is happening, but the “I” many times does not allow it. Therefore, by respecting the process for any change without that respect is violence. The ideal may be to become a saint “now.” There is a process in between. Respect that.
The process is gained through living Life in AWARENESS. As we notice who we ARE, as we allow ourselves to fully experience that, the seed of change will be planted. Nothing remains the same. Change has the path of polarity within, the trigger  to start the trip is our AWARENESS.

Everyone may want to change “right now” into a loving, peaceful, happy being. That does not happen by DOING something. There is a process behind that change, as every individual is in a different stage of development. The process is very important to develop insight, inner knowledge, wisdom. The process is known as Living Life.

That understanding will give us openness, amplitude of vision. We become tolerant not because it is “good,” not because “God wants it,” or the “law,” but because that is who we ARE.

Who we ARE cannot be defined or confined, for there is always change … Can we live with that certainty? 🙂

If “I am right,” I will be “wrong” too.

To acknowledge things as they are, to accept people, facts, opinions, circumstances as they are, is the single most important item for any seeker to consider. Acceptance means to have no psychological barrier against it.

We could DO things to change what is happening, but that DOING with an expectation, with an outcome in mind is full of ego and thus, when the situation does not appear as we would have wish for, we suffer.

Ego wants to be “right.” There is an immense fear of being “wrong.” We cannot understand that once we embrace the idea of being “right” without the idea of being “wrong” as well, then we set ourselves up for suffering.

Embrace the duality to make it one. If we embrace only one part, we will suffer once the other part‘s turn arrives. Ego identifies with one part of the duality and will suffer when the other side arrives. It will arrive. there is no way to stop it.

We perceive different forms. We label those forms with different names. That perception makes a separation.

Forms are united through a thread of events which will make up change, that which we call Life.

If we interfere in those events because we like to follow a moral standard, a law, a tradition; we are looking for a particular outcome. That outcome may happen, but it is inevitable that at another point in time, the opposite of our wishful outcome; will occur.

To embrace the duality as one, to step away from a “black or white” vision of the Universe, takes a different kind of intelligence.

That intelligence is not “educated” through a relationship with people in a society, but it appears once you live out of that society. When you are alone.

That is why a serious seeker, sooner or later will need to face his own loneliness.
That is when transformation appears. It is no longer about changing behavior, or changing the color of clothes to look “holier than thou.”

All the DOING is no longer needed as a distraction of recognizing who we ARE.
Thus, to be alone means to be in front of that which is not allowed to BE.

That is why it becomes so important to acknowledge EVERYTHING of who we ARE without trying to change it into some ideal, into some belief no matter how sacred it may be.

Acknowledge who you ARE. Recognize it. Observe it.
We have been taught to manipulate ourselves to maintain an ideal given by someone else. “We should be this and not that.”

All of that DOING to change who we truly are is merely a distraction from observing our truth.

Many ask: “How is it possible for observation to change something in us?”
Those are the ones who are used to DOING and are not aware of BEING aware of themselves.

I could recognize what is ego if I OBSERVE that manifestation in others. It is that OBSERVATION the one capable of changing ourselves when that observation is focused on us.
What do you mean by “us”?
Feelings, mental condition, beliefs, ideals, moral standards. Be a “detached observer,” of who you ARE as you ARE.

If we could observe how attached we are to all of those things that we believe to be us… we could start letting those things go.
Without that observation, all the “knowledge” we accumulate about ourselves, will be “second class,” a “hand me down,” an “intellectual trip to nowhere.”

We cannot pretend to CHANGE BEING when the mind accumulates more information.
The mind is incapable of acknowledging that which is always changing, evolving… Life.
The mind only has memories of that which is no longer the “now.”

Do you know if you are aware?

Many times we could read or hear that “spirituality” is about awakening.
That is not just “spirituality.” That is conscious living. To live Life in consciousness.
Life is far greater than just “spirituality.”

Have you noticed when your consciousness changed from being a toddler into a teenager?
No?
That is because there is no division between toddler and teenager. It is a continuous.
The words “toddler” and “teenager” could be used to explain things intellectually, but observe that by taking those concepts to be literal, we are creating a separation which does not exist.

Let me use the word “karma” now, to explain a belief.
If you are suffering from a disease now, that is the consequence of your past karma. Correct?
Disease = “bad;” therefore, that disease is “punishment,” “settling karma.”
Actually the “big picture,” the “unlimited vision” is not related with seeing Life as a fearful trip where “righteousness” is all what matters. That is just a religious perspective, which is different from what Life shows.

“Karma” is actually continuity. Our perception of “good, bad” is the opportunity for change. Life changes.
A disease now is the opportunity to appreciate health, to be able to be in tune with it.
When we appreciate the disease for giving us the chance to be in tune with health; then we are ready for change. When we reject the disease, we will suffer our experience.

“Why is that necessary?”
Because we weren’t conscious of being healthy.
“Is that bad?”
No. Lack of consciousness will take us into being conscious again. That is the trip, the journey.

We go from one extreme to another. It is in that awareness how appreciation arises.
How could we appreciate day, if we don’t know night?
If we learn to appreciate both; then we understand the continuity, change that will happen. Life is not a traumatic experience anymore (as the ego will see it) but just an experience to be enjoyed, appreciated, play with and let go. That is to be in the “now.”

However, that experience could be surrounded by “man made,” “artificial stuff,” such as beliefs, dogmas, moral standards, traditions… Please remember this: Nature… Life is not bound by Human laws, beliefs or traditions. It is not bound by your belief of a rightful God, for Nature, Life, the Universe, “His” creation… is not bound by those “rightful” laws.

When we are appreciation, then there will not be the experience of duality, choosing or having a preference; for we will know that everything changes at its own time.

What is to be awake then?
To be conscious of the process, the change. We are Life itself, not something separate.
To be conscious that this change will happen whether the “I” want it to happen or not.

When we are change itself, what could the “I” hang onto?
Nothing. Except a belief… and that is why, as we become more awake, deep beliefs will go “naturally” away… That is the change.

“I,” “my” genes and “my” family

The “I” may think to be isolated. That perception presents a very narrow “reality.” Every single one of us is carrying the genes of our ancestors. A great part of that “I” is supplied by the past, unrecognized in the present but re-established in the future… unless we are ready and willing to go beyond our own genes.

Your DNA will influence the way you interpret an experience. A belief may tell you otherwise, but your “unconscious” will prevail.
In a society where the color of the skin or birthplace is important, “You” are pre-programmed to fit into a role.

Some of the generational characteristics of your ancestors are already in “you.” Those characteristics will come up in your Life no matter what you “do” to reject them or repress them.

For instance, someone could suffer schizophrenia due to some gene from the ancestors. Someone could be living with a “time bomb” in their heart, as the ancestors had heart attacks at an early age.

Yes….you are still “you,” an individual… but how much of “you” is actually “you”?
For the great majority of individuals, there is no much “you” different than the generational genes.

Observe how collective beliefs will have great importance on the way “you” see the world.

This is another layer of beliefs and collective programing that a “seeker” may want to look into.

You see, many times it is not enough to see that “I” am an angry person, when there is a collective consciousness behind a family tree giving a person that trait.
Observe it in your own family and how those traits that many times we justify or reject are within us. Those traits may resurface easily in family reunions and gatherings.

At the end of the day, that which we call “unconscious” for lack of a better understanding, is what will come up in a person’s behavior, as soon as that person is allowed to behave naturally.

To realize the connection of your ancestors and “you” is not “bad.” It is a source of understanding and liberation for the whole family as well.

Paul kept getting angry with people, no matter what method he followed. His father was a very angry man as well. Paul believed that anger was “bad,” in despair he said: “If it wasn’t for my father who taught me about anger, I wouldn’t be this angry!” Paul didn’t realize that his father wasn’t the source of that anger, but it came from his father’s family and so on…

What could Paul “do” to get rid of that anger?
Nothing. It is not a matter of “doing” anything unless all we want is to repress it. The one who is willing to understand his own anger cannot start by rejecting it, labeling it as “bad” or being ashamed of it, because some moral standard has dictated that anger is undesirable.

It is a journey to understand something in us. All we may want to be aware of, is that it is there and that we are willing to understand it, to accept it and to nurture it as a part of “I.” Let the journey start…

“Nurture your anger? Give me a break!”

It is “You” AT THIS TIME, don’t you see that?
Any “formula” or magic pill could do the trick for a brief time, but… the “thing” will come back, then you could feel like a loser, guilty, ashamed, etc. and will look for another “magic pill” to repress what you are not willing to understand.

“That is not true! I used “Xyz” method to get rid of my anger and it worked! so there…”

🙂 That “method” was merely the finishing touch of a long process which started once you realized about that anger. It wasn’t the “solution,” for there was a life process behind it. That “method” wouldn’t work unless you were ready for it, but many times we are so caught up in finding a “savior” that we do not see the big picture.

Let us say that Paul has a drinking problem. His journey will start when he is out of control. Then, he will realize that it is hurting him and maybe others. At that point, Paul may want to stop it. Paul may repress it, he may come up with “will power” tricks to avoid drinking… until he gives up and his personal “Satan” gets unleashed after a prolonged repression… Do we see the journey?

Paul will need to see that “drinking” is not the issue but there are other things underneath. First, he will need to look into his family, and how certain past behaviors were able to affect him. He may want to see if there is an issue with drinking in his family, he may want to find out how drinking started in his Life… Is drinking something that he enjoyed for the sake of it or a trigger from something else?

This is the journey to untie our own knots. In that journey we may need our own support, our own acceptance, that in itself is the key to look at things without guilt, without shame, without feeling “less than…”

It is a journey. It could last a few days, months, years, a Life time. One thing is guaranteed. There will be lots of learning in that journey which can only be stopped if there is resentment, shame, guilt, rejection, “black or white” beliefs which will hinder our looking inwards, our acceptance, our nurturing attitude towards finding an unexpected “I.”
Unfortunately that process of self-discovery is usually stopped by the “quick-fix” mentality, unable to perceive suffering as part of the process to heal, to be whole again….

Are you in a hurry to “fix” yourself?
Please know that you cannot do that. The “I” cannot fix himself.
“Why?”
Because “you” are not separated from Life. There are many episodes, many chapters which will need to be unfolded for that change to be natural. If it is artificial change, it is not change at all but plain inner dishonesty.

All you can “do” is to put a bandage, change your behavior and make everyone and yourself believe that “you” have changed.
Going through the process that Life will unfold is the cause and the solution of the “problem.”
Be willing to walk the path… and while doing that, treat yourself well; with love for everything will change sooner or later… as Life changes are guaranteed.