Observe that I have purposely used conditioned terminology: Truth, Doctrine and God.
Those 3 words have all the ingredients to enhance any “spiritual” message, to make it sound important. That is the conditioning!
Life is. We live it. We are conscious of it. That is the gift.
To be conscious of BEING, to BE conscious of the surroundings including our own bodies, that is a fantastic experience!
When we wake up in the morning from sleeping, the gift of a new experience is right there. However, our minds will add conditioned thoughts to define our current newness with the past, it will unwind the reel of past experiences to shape up our perspective on things… That is how Life becomes the “same old thing.”
The interesting aspect is that we want to hang onto the known. That which is known to us, secure, unchangeable which basically follows the pattern of our mind: The mind welcomes static things, lifeless things, something that could be labeled and classified as “good or bad.” Those labels will remain unchanged through centuries of conditioning.
“Snake.” Observe the feeling that this word brings, the imagery, the emotions. Whatever it is, the bottom line is: Is it “good or bad”?
We are so lifeless when living through words!
The effect of hanging onto the known brings fear. Our minds are masters in the art of infusing fear.
Then, we search for God, we look for truth, for a doctrine to “save us” to keep us safe, to mitigate fear.
Life becomes a task, a DOING to accomplish that safety, whether that is through possession of goods, the pursue of god or the attainment of what is good. Do you see how similar those words are?
“God, goods, good.” Observe your feelings for those words, your emotions, your conditioning.
Life is away from all those words and their connotation and conditioning.
Your experience of BEING is related with feelings and those feelings get distorted through words, concepts, definitions.
Life is not about static “TRUTH.” It is about appreciation of perspectives (realities not reality) and thus, enjoyment of them. To allow them to change as Life changes, as BEING changes without the need of the artificial DOCTRINE (religious, political) that keeps things under control, to bring the sensation of safety, to calm down fear.
Away from that Life of concepts, ideals and conditioning Life IS.
Appreciation and enjoyment of “what is” without further labels, is the key for change, for self-transformation, self-realization, enlightenment and all of those “good” but meaningless words.
Life is away from our mind driven life. 🙂
Thank you for voicing your feelings!
It appears to me that you are beginning this path by the way you express yourself and for what you are experiencing. If that is so, let me tell you that it is “normal” what you are experiencing. 🙂
If you have been many years in Gyan and you are still experiencing the above, then there is something that needs to change and that change will only happen when you realize what it is.
Usually, and by the way you express yourself, it is something about ego… it is the same “ego” issue at the beginning of our BK career and at the end of it, just the subtlety varies…until is gone…
Life has different ways to allow us to diminish that “ego,” as a matter of fact; your own suffering now is a way to “burn” that heavy ego away.
We suffer because there is ego. Greater ego means a greater experience of suffering is needed when “working on it.”
Dear soul, stop working “so hard.” Stop trying. Just sit down, relax and see that everything is falling apart around you, but not “you”… unless you want to think that. So, just smile and let life take everything away from you.. 🙂 Become free from all of that known “success.”
If you resist the situation that you are living by opposing to it through thoughts like: “This shouldn’t be happening to me” or “I was very successful and now I am not. I need to do something about it” all what you are doing is prolonging the situation, for life will not change unless you are ready.
Accept what is happening, surrender that ego who wants to fight and let the magic begin. All you need to do is to let life burn that ego away. Keep your “code of conduct” with you if to reach your highest self in this life is what you would like to reach as a BK, “buckle up” and go for the ride without looking back.
Just FYI. I have been there, learned what I just shared after many years of “complaining,” and now I am glad not to be “in the loop of success for “normal” people” anymore. So, life gave me a T-shirt: “Proud to be a failure.”
Freedom from every known thing is invaluable… even from failure.