Tagged: code of conduct

The “morality” of ego


When “I” started to have problems within, that was the time when those problems manifested “out there” as “I” will relate with “others” all the time.

Dealing with “others” is what we call to have a relationship.
Nowadays, it is an ego-based relationship.

The most external view of a relationship is observed on how “Jack deals with Jill” everyday.

Jack is like this. Jill is like that. Obviously issues will come up between them.

Could we fix those issues?
Maybe. 🙂
We could create a “code of conduct.” Something delineated so Jack could know that he is “going over the border” and Jill could feel safe from a harsh interaction.

Moreover, we could make that code of conduct into a moral standard and just to add holiness into it, we could say that those are God’s “rules.”

Jack: “You have parked in my parking spot.”
Jill: “ That is not my car.”
Jack: “ Do you know who that may be then?”
Jill: “It is not my problem.”

How could Jack react to “win the fight”? What he could say?

Without any “moral codes,” Jack could insult Jill or even do more than that… Jack could unleash his own “Satan” from deep inside.. 🙂
But, with a “moral code,” Jack will think twice before he reacts harshly.

Jack thought within a second: “Uhhm… I feel like beating her up. No one dares to talk to “me” like that! I just asked her a simple question! But, I was taught to love my neighbor and to give “the other cheek” in cases like this for if “I” do something wrong, “I” may get punished by God. I could be damned forever…If i give the other cheek, I may earn Paradise…What a test paper!”

Jack learns to repress. Nevertheless, Jack could use that incident as an example of how wonderfully he is “transforming.”

He is giving the other cheek. Jack has remained “silent” even though he was verbally attacked…. Hallelujah!

In another consciousness, all issues start with oneself and finish right there.

Jack to cashier at store: “ You must be new here…”
Cashier: “No I have been here for 2 years.”
Jack: “ I don’t recall seeing you before…”
Cashier (getting a little upset): “Either I am not here when you come here or you don’t pay attention when you come.”
Jack (feeling the “ego” distress from the cashier): Yeah, that must be it. I typically don’t pay attention…
Cashier: 🙂 smile…
Jack: Have a great day!

Jack didn’t react. Jack didn’t think about “becoming good.” Jack didn’t follow any code of conduct.
Jack was empty of “self.”

The cashier smiled. She was happy. Jack was smiling. The “ego” door was open. Everything went through it.

Walking around with a defined personality does not allow someone to blend according to the circumstances. That “blending” does not require thinking. It just requires intuition.

A “moral” person is truly someone without ego. Otherwise, the “moral codes” surrounding an ego-driven personality will only enhance and protect ego.

That “morality” becomes a serious “immorality” in the long run.

Question: om shanti brother, I am starting to churn on the topic of “discipline”. A lot of it is lacking in modern society and I see how this causes big problems with youth for example. I myself have a bit problematic history with the topic as I used to experience it as being imprisoned, being limited. In my BK life however I noticed some very disciplined and well-churning sisters flourish, even fly by it! So now I want to do more than recognize the value, I want discover the secret of discipline. (I read one earlier article of yours mentioning discipline, code of conduct).

Thank you for your question!
Dear soul,
As the video below explains: “The purpose of discipline is to live fully.” That is what the “Code of conduct” means to me. You have the boundaries limited but within those boundaries you could explore. Discipline does not mean rigidity. It means to “reform” the self by following guidelines. I mention the word “reform,” because as you mentioned about the youth, if we do whatever “we feel” like, it is not really within the limits of “whatever we want,” but whatever we have learned that we want. For example, we know that water is good for you, but on any given day most westerners would rather have a glass of “Coke” than water. We have acquired a taste for carbonated water with sugar and caffeine, we need to “reform” the self; thus; discipline. Some people take up discipline for a weekend, some for their entire life, but there must be understanding as to why we are doing what we have decided to do, for otherwise; there will be repression.

Just like love goes together with detachment; true discipline goes together with flexibility.

Best wishes!

Question: What are the 16 mariyadas? I am new to knowledge and I know most of the maryadas but I want to make sure that I really know all of them fully so I can apply them in my life.

Thank you for your question!
Dear soul,

Attached is a picture of the Maryadas as they look in my bedroom. 🙂

Hope it is helpful to you. If you have any more questions about them, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best wishes!


Question:dear brother star. plz detail me the maryadas of being brahman soul. i knw the suoerficial ones bt want to ‘view’ the in depth principals fr deepening my exp of ‘being’ the being dat i am love u fr all the help.

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,

Here is an article about it, which was shared here sometime ago. I would recommend you to take a look at it.

Also, there is a good article here http://www.brahmakumarisforum.net/chat/post5841.html#p5841 titled, “Medicine for the diseases of the body and mind is – Mera Baba.” Go through it as well. Towards the end, it will mention about “purity” and its meaning.

This article could be helpful for those of us who are looking for medicines for the soul… 🙂 I believe this article was originally in Hindi and translated by Sister Gayathri from India.

Best wishes!

Spiritual Efforts: The Elevated Code of Conduct: Maryadas

For many, embracing a spiritual path, means to listen to someone (Guru) giving classes about a particular topic, mingling with a new group of people who are “into the same thing,” to dress similarly and help each other if needed.

This is very easy to perform. In my times as a Christian soul, going to church every Sunday was the hardest “effort” to make other than having to “confess” my sins to the priest so these “sins” could be “absolved.”

On the other hand, once I became interested in the Brahma Kumaris knowledge; there was a “surprise” waiting for me if I wanted to be “part of the club.”
That was the “code of conduct.”

In this writing I will expose the main ones with the only purpose to inform individuals about this practice. To follow these “principles” is perfectly feasible, although not for everyone. It is my experience that by following these principles, our life in general will change for the better, for a more spiritual self. It is just a matter of time and consistency to succeed in this life style.

There are 16 “maryadas” in the current list that I am aware of, but out of those there are 5 which are the pillars of spiritual “effort making life” and those are the main concern of this sharing.

1) Morning class every day. (nowadays, “hear” class every day through the phone or computer) at 6:30 AM. In my town, it is Monday through Friday at 6:30 AM and weekends at 7:30 AM with half an hour meditation before that (if possible.)
Now, this is a change from just a typical Sunday morning mass (11 AM.)

2) Lacto vegetarian life style (without eggs, garlic or onions)
This was a “big change” in my life. Fortunately I had been vegetarian for “moral reasons” (Don’t believe in killing animals to survive) back in my native Spanish country, when no one around me believed in such things, so I had to fight my way back then and eat “taste-less food” to make it. Although, “no garlic” meant that I couldn’t buy much from the store; for 99% of the food items have garlic in them.. 🙂
What is the issue with garlic? It is a well-known food item with “aphrodisiac” properties, besides the “strong” smell which most individuals believe to be “normal” to have with them.
Here a website for those who need “proof.

3) Celibacy: Things could get a bit tougher, now!! However, take care of your diet; get away from the “normal” diet and things will start changing. Diet is the first step. The second step is if you are a Brahmin soul or not. If you are a Brahmin soul, celibacy will not be so hard, especially if a “Golden age” soul; otherwise, there may be some “inner fights.” For the rest, celibacy is a “cleansing” process.
There are some who believe that celibacy is just non sexual intimacy with someone, but still indulge in self sexuality. Sorry, that is not celibacy. There are others who will experience “nocturnal emissions,” through this process. That means that there is still room for improvement. Celibacy is “numberwise” as well. These involuntary emissions could be experienced also by women; however, as the grip on celibacy increases, these episodes will diminish. For a Brahmin soul; there is a complete life-style to follow “purity,” AND; this is not just for the “clergy” or the “upper classes closer to God,” but for everyone. Higher standards; that is all.

4) Amrit Vela: Early morning meditation at 4 AM every day until 4:45 AM.
Time to wake up: 3:30 AM approx.
This is the “backbone” of the BK life style in my perspective. The whole life style points to the experience of “Amrit Vela.” If you consistently have “good” meditations at this time, you are doing good!
This practice by itself will regulate the “myth” of the 8 hours sleep cycle. 5 to 6 hours should be enough for most.
Being awake after amrit vela is beneficial to avoid “nocturnal emissions” and it is the “best time” for spiritual uplifting.

There are some souls who would like to try “Amrit Vela” without training the self for it. For most, this will require some “training.” To do this every day will be felt as sleepiness by an unaccustomed body, so the number of times per week should be increased gradually for most, to allow the self to “get used to it.”

This is something that I encounter in many souls eager to follow all the “principles,” those souls will feel “tired” if not properly trained, then, the consistency will be lacking. (i.e: 1 week amrit vela every day and the next week nothing at all ) Training and patience are required.

5 ) Keeping a chart:
This is the equivalent of “confession” in Christianity. Here, at night we could revise our activities mentally and see where we need to concentrate for further improvement. By keeping a chart, we will be able to “process” our life so we know exactly how we reacted throughout the day. A chart gives us the opportunity to “check and change.” This is the equivalent to the “dairy” which some individuals like to keep.

As we can see, these principles will definitely change our “traditional” life style; but if we have the strength and tireless stamina to learn from this new life style, positive changes will definitely be just around the corner. It is a matter of faith in our own capacity.

The Lion, monkey and donkey and their code of conduct

The Lion said:” Guys, I am the king of the jungle. Do you wan to know the secret to be one?”

The monkey and donkey assented with their head and were eagerly expecting the reply out of curiosity.

“Well, you know, we have this code of conduct, which if you follow it, you are assured to become a King. That code comes from time immemorial and reflects the wisdom of my ancestors.”

Then after roaring “in royalty,” the lion added: “ I was able to follow that code and that is why I am the King, and you guys on the other hand, a simple funny monkey and a dumb donkey… This is not pride, it is just the reality.”

The “dumb” donkey didn’t react to the lion’s insult but merely asked: “ what are those code of conduct, humble lion?”

The Lion smiled and added:” Listen up. This is the truth if you want to become a King:

  1. You must roar at least twice a day. You must let your roar be heard in 2 kms around you.
  2. You must eat pure deer meat at least once a day and must kill it yourself. Vegetables are not allowed for that is food of the weak and lower species.
  3. If any animal oppose you, fight or run away. You only have 2 options. If the animal is stronger, run away to save face. If the animal is weaker, kill him and show it around, to spread fear.

The lion roared a second time making sure that the 2kms “code of conduct” was followed. “This is the reason why you cannot be a King like me.”

The monkey said: “Those codes are nonsense. I am a monkey. I don’t eat deer. I don’t roar. But I can do things which you cannot. I cannot fight with you because you are stronger, but If I climb that tree and start throwing coconuts at you, I can have a really good time…you, King- “Kong”! HAAHAAHhAA!!!

I have my own code of conduct, which all monkeys follow. We don’t care to be called “King” but we have our own system. The monkey system. We are not Lions. We are monkeys, remember that, you hairy poodle… Hahaahaaa.. and he climbed the tree right away before the Lion reacted fiercely against him.

The Lion said: “ Come back here you “insignificant servant,” I will make you my lunch….”

The donkey took a long deep breath and then said: “ I think the monkey had a point. Your nature is to be the King of the jungle. Everyone fears you. His nature is to be a clown. Why would he like to be a King? He is not meant to be that. The funny thing would be if some monkeys pretend to be lions and end up not being neither lions nor monkeys. That is a sad picture. Honesty to the self is important for that.”

“Well,” said the lion..”you appear not to be such a dumb creature after all, you will recognize then that my code of conduct can take you to the top and because you are smart, you will be a great King like me.”

The donkey smiled , thank the lion for his wishes and said:” The nature of a bird is to fly. The nature of a fish is to be under water. The nature of a donkey is to be a donkey, not a monkey neither a lion. I respect all of you and your abilities for they are necessary in your kingdom.”

The lion angrily said: “ That is what is expected of a weaker being like you. You will never be a King.”

The donkey said: :” That is OK. I am happy being a donkey. Next time you need help in carrying materials to build your castle, we will find out who is weak and who is not…. I can carry a big load. You cannot. “


Trying to change someone to pursue something “better” is like trying to change a donkey into a monkey. All the scriptures and codes of conduct have always pointed out to the self. To discover the self. That is their reason. Some will be kings, others clowns and others donkeys; we cannot ostracize others for not following our codes and behaviors. The time will come for the ugly duckling to recognize that in reality he is a beautiful swan…. but that recognition will come if in fact he is a swan.

Gyan and BK life is not meant to be pushed into others. It is meant to be shared. There is a big difference, just like a monkey cannot be a donkey.