The collective consciousness labels and segments experiences: Good, bad, right, wrong. It is all relative to a perspective, a conditioning, a moral standard.
But, the individual experience can only show a limited range. What is a “bad” experience? The passage to a “good” one.
Isn’t “right” born out of what is “wrong”?
Cause and effect are together. All experiences in a person’s life are necessary together. Life is a “togetherness,” although our mind insists in viewing parts and labeling them.
A wall clock is a togetherness. We label 11 AM as “good or bad.” But time never stays fixed; but our labels do.
Sexuality practically, is a range of an experience. Every individual has a particular experience within that range.
The fixation is in achieving some ideal of what “should be.”
“Reality” is that as humans, we ARE not the same…. But we ARE. Language doesn’t allow for that illogical contradiction, but Life is oblivious of our logical constructs. Truly, Life is far from our intellectual understanding, the shoe box.
When we dare to look outside of the shoe box, we will observe that nothing is confined into a container. We make that trick.
The trick works because everyone is conditioned to believe in it.
Watch TV for too long and you will start believing that that world is “real.” It is a dreamy world where the reality of our feelings is confined for the sake of being “right” according to some moral gospel, another shoe box.
Shoes are not meant to be inside shoe boxes. We believe they should be.
Our society is fixated with the sense of sight. We have an ideal of what is “right.” We just need to change whatever we see, to look like the ideal, the model. This arrangement may work in the “office world” but certainly, not in Life.
To BE one with Life, that is for self-realization, those concepts of “fixing things” including the self, to make them like a role model, are out of place.
Self- realization is more in tune with inner feeling. The “role model” is out.
Let me give an example: In our society, we cherish competitive sports. For instance, in swimming, we are primarily concerned with moving faster not in feeling swimming for the sake of it. To go faster is the unspoken “goal.” We believe that there are certain techniques that will get us there. All we need to do is to watch and learn those techniques from the “champs.” The interesting aspect is that every coach has his take on a particular technique or drill. We just follow what the authoritative person says. That is the safe step as we don’t want to be “wrong.”
This is the way “spirituality” works, as well as religions. We need to go “faster” to heaven before we die. We need to ask the priest and the guru for advise, because they should be “right.” We just want to follow the “method” or “technique.”
In “self-realization,” there are no techniques to follow, for going faster is no longer a goal. Thus, we will not be concerned in watching videos and learning techniques to go faster so we can “win.” The thing is to feel, to be present, to BE swimming, Life itself. None of that “feeling stuff” will give us “benefits” so in society, we dismiss it.
We need to re-learn to feel. When you are in the water, feel your movements. Experiment with what brings you greater enjoyment. If there is pain, then you have found a limit.
Life is like swimming. However, rather than a swimming pool, we have a river moving continuously. Our mind is stuck with “goals.” We want to get to the other side faster. We want to time ourselves and beat the competition so we can earn a medal and everyone should know about this “feat;” applaud us, and remember us when we are gone, we want to be labeled as a “legend.” That is the belief of “success.”
It is that mentality, that conditioning of believing that Life is only a bigger version of the “office world;” which is hindering our possibility to relax, unwind and float, as the river has already a direction. We cannot see that destination, so we come up with mental ideas, illusions and day dreaming to “achieve.” The destination is not to be seen. It is to be felt and trusted.
Our minds want to make sure that we attain something along the way as a “proof,” that we are going in the “right” path… We don’t want to be “wrong.”
It doesn’t work like that. Life brings experiences, humans bring labels (right/wrong, good/bad.)
We wish we could live in Spring all the time, but we cannot be without Winter time.
If you live Spring, Winter is a reality waiting to happen. This is Life.
We see Spring, we believe in it. Once it starts changing, we become stressed out, angry even bitter. Nevertheless, despite our inner tantrums; Winter will arrive. Then, we will make a trauma out of that experience. The consequence of that trauma is a blockage in our perception, in our openness to trust Life.
Fear arrives. Every form of protective shield that we have created around ourselves, is a hue of fear.
We cannot see that. We cannot believe that.
We could feel it, but we are too afraid.
Once we gain the courage to swim past a “trauma,” we could be lost in “achievements” and “goals” again, to bury deep inside our fear to enjoy.
Fear to enjoy?
Yes. Don’t you feel it? 😉
“I just need to be myself,” is a fashionable “spiritual catchphrase.”
Before that, the “teaching” was to BE like someone else. That could have been a saint, a hero, a politician, a priest anyone else deemed to be “good.”
Then conflict arose: “How should I BE myself if I am a [sinner, impure] not worthy? I have to attain what this other person IS, to be worthy!”
Nevertheless, the conditioning of what is “worthy” and the forgetfulness that any so called, “virtue” cannot be attained through a method is apparent; for that virtue is a state of BEING, not a state of DOING. Repetition of what is perceived to be a “good action” does not make you virtuous, but dull. From society’s viewpoint is “better” to DO something considered “good” even though it is not what is felt, a natural outcome of BEING. For someone in the path of self-realization, to OBSERVE what you ARE at one moment is of paramount importance. BE AWARE of that.
METHODS cannot bring a person to a different state of consciousness.
This confusion, is observed for example, in “spiritual sexuality.”
The collective consciousness of the common man is of an angry monkey, ready to be violent and defensive. The belief is that by “teaching” methods and practices, that monkey could be a great lover!
That is an illusion and so is to repress our sexuality. DEEPLY OBSERVE what IS first, then true change is automatic, and not artificial by following commandments, etc.
A person wanting to imitate Gautama Buddha or Jesus, is bound to fail miserably. He can only be a double face, dishonest actor.
Paradoxically, that imitation will only increase his chances to go to “Hell rather than Heaven,” although that is not the objective of the “spiritual” imitation.
Why is that? Inner dishonesty could pass as honest activity (DOING) under the view of society’s rules, but that farce cannot cheat the rules of Life.
“BE yourself” when viewed in depth, is meaningless.
Who is that “YOU” that you want to BE? It is a made up mental ideal. Our conditioned mind has a form made of parameters delimiting that which we call “I.”
“BE” is the “spiritual phrase.” BEING is not limited by the ideas of “myself” or “yourself.” To BE is unexpected, of the moment. It is not directed by the mind. Most individuals in the civilized world, are unable to BE, because their conditioned minds will not allow for that to happen.
Therefore, to BE means to become AWARE of all those conditioning agents running constantly through our minds. It means to OBSERVE how the mind takes over and directs our personality. Without this previous “work” there cannot be “Just BE.”
Another way to explain the above, is by using the label “emptiness.” It is the process of dissolution of the mind and its conditionings as to leave stillness of the mind. This stillness is out of emptiness and not out of artificial control [“I control my mind.”] Picture a room full of stuff, ready to overflow if the door is left open. Control is necessary in that picture to keep things inside the room. However, if the room is empty, there is ample space to decorate that room with newness of Life.
BE YOURSELF is truly a way to chain our experience to a particular form/belief/idiosyncrasy/upbringing, etc. FREEDOM is not there.
We can experiment with BEING SOMEONE else. There are many methods and religions for that. We can experience with BEING YOURSELF, there are many self-help books written about this topic; but we cannot experiment with BEING.
To BE is freedom. It is freedom from the known. The idea of the collective consciousness about freedom, is infantile.
To grow up means to look, to observe, to be aware without judgment, without mind, so the realization of that experience is able to change our lives. 🙂
Tantra is not for the masses. A “tantrica” is not born by taking on-line “master classes.” Tantra is not about “better sex” either. Nor a “system” or “philosophy” to expand consciousness. There is this belief on being “liberated” from conditioning, by speaking freely about sexuality in a society that views sex as a taboo.
Tantra “Goddesses” will appear selling different “services.” They become “Tantra teachers” after attending a few classes and paying their fees to be “certified.” There is no much there to show their level of consciousness, but it is thought, that their sexual prowess is the proof of their “mastery.”
We don’t hear too much about “gods” of “tantra.”
It is a steep job description: A man that can have sex as many times as he wishes and ejaculate only when he wants, without using “technology,” “pills”or any “techniques.” That is a “natural.”
Due to that level of “mastery,” we do not hear too much from them. If they sell “techniques,” rest assured they aren’t “naturals.”
The above is pretty much the collective belief about Tantra.
However, for the ones who are ready in consciousness; Tantra is a whole different thing. When a true Tantric couple is united by destiny, Sex has a different meaning: It is the way to discover Love by going beyond the limits of self.
According to my reliable “sources” there was in history an example of such a tantric couple. They are well known, although; the term “Tantra,” probably wasn’t known by them.
Would you like to know who they were? They were well known for their divinity:
Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
It makes perfect sense. Consciousness brings the “Tantra” experience.
I am sharing this knowing that some may be revolted by this “heresy” that goes against established beliefs.
But for those who are open to “do their homework,” this may be “good news.”
Tantra IS in that sort of “divine” consciousness.
When we ARE NOT there, then “techniques,” “methods,” “practices,” “rituals,” etc . are taught. The focus is only sex. Although, pleasure maybe enhanced, there is no “open door” in their consciousness to go beyond self.
A man cannot fully surrender to the sexual experience or Life itself, if he was made a “master” through the use of “techniques.”
Just like “Yoga” is not what is practiced in the gym near you; Tantra is not a new fashionable method to have sex and “improve” consciousness… However, there are individuals claiming benefits from those “practices,” thus, everything is good.
Everyone aligns to a particular thing according to their consciousness. Thus, many times what we think “IS,” it may not be. It is in that experience of recognizing change, and not denying it or defending old beliefs; how change happens, how consciousness “expands.” 🙂
Mary told John: “You need to become compassionate.”
John looked up the word compassionate in the dictionary.
It said: “Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others.” John wasn’t quite sure what compassionate meant through that definition for he always thought that he felt concerned for others, so he looked for another definition: “A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”
John understood the meaning of compassion better through the second definition. Then, he decided that from now on, he will “practice” that compassion.
Mary had a severe cold. John could see that Mary was suffering. John “practiced” feeling sympathy for Mary. He also followed up with a “desire to alleviate” her cold. “Can I hand you some tissue?” He asked.
Mary saw “improvement” in John. She said “Thank you for asking.”
That created the necessary rapport for John to practice that “compassion.”
He thought he was being compassionate now… He was “improving.” 🙂
Reality is that John wasn’t compassionate even after “practicing” for many months. For instance, he wasn’t able to feel empathy for suffering animals. That wasn’t part of his “practice” of “compassion.”
John was merely conditioned to practice his improved “good manners” in front of people.
This little example, shows how our “spirituality of practice” have been shaping individuals into fake ones.
There are things which need “practice” to become more proficient at, but values are not part of that.
So what do we DO to become “better”?
Nothing at all. The thing is not to BECOME something which we don’t even know what IS, what is the extent of it.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” sounds good to “practice,” but apparently that doesn’t work in a war… or even as close as the “office world.”
The thing is to OBSERVE to BE AWARE of what IS… what we ARE.
WHAT IS, is not necessarily the way we ACT: I can pet the neighbor’s dog and look “loving and concerned,” while inside me a thought could be saying: “Nasty mutt.”
If we are AWARE of that inner conflict, that is where “betterment” starts…. But we have been trained to suppress that thought with a “loving” one: “ You are such a precious dog.”
That is the greatest lie.
We have been trained to add words as “objective to achieve,” as in: “I need to be more caring with animals and people.” This mitigates our sense of guilt, whenever we see that our attempt to BECOME some moral value, does not work.
All we need is a little AWARENESS of the NOW.
Forget the nice words: Love, compassion, gentleness, peace, etc. and the opposite words as well. Those words don’t help at all. Those are only words.
Awareness of what we feel. Awareness of our own relaxed presence or lack of. Awareness of the stream of thoughts and words. That is all.
One day, we may even question ourselves after our observation: Is that ME?
That is a sign that betterment is on the way, without “practice.”
That is an invention of our business oriented society. “Certifications” in “spirituality” are completely meaningless.
Tantra is not a bunch of information and “techniques” to “improve” sex. That idea could be sold to the masses as certification, but it is meaningless, as far as BEING Tantra.
Tantra is not for the masses, for the collective consciousness. Tantra is not something that we learn through books or classes. Tantra is a discovery as our awareness moves to a different space of consciousness. It is the reward of having lived through the polarity of experiences of many life times. It is not something to accomplish by paying a fee for a webinar or by joining an ashram.
Picture this: We sign up for a class and watch a video of the instructor having sex. What is the teaching? THIS is how you have sex! All you have to DO now is follow the instructor. That is how it works in our society: Follow the “expert.” In religions, “follow the guru.” There is an issue with that: Who you ARE is not acknowledged. What matters is to BE like someone else.
To be a fake, a knock-off is the teaching.
Someone IS anger and lust, but is taught that if he follows the “technique” correctly, he could be a “good” lover.
Someone IS cruel and violent, but we want for him to follow the compassion of Buddha.
That will not happen. BEING compassionate or loving is not a DOING. It is not a rehearsed “practice,” it is not an imitation.
Through Tantra, we let go of the mind. Without this requisite, our capacity for pleasure is limited. If our pleasure is limited, there is no fulfillment.
Of what good a technique is, when our capacity to feel pleasure is hindered?
Our capacity for pleasure does not depend on a particular activity. It is a way of BEING away from the mind, but in balance… Open to feel.
Sex is not the first thing to “talk” about in Tantra. It may be the last thing in the “subject” of Tantra, and that comes naturally and not by using techniques of any kind. It is a process like anything natural in Life.
Tantra is about BEING and NON-BEING and that cannot be given to someone through words.
Most of the articles written by Ahnanda in this blog, are about Tantra; but these are not on “how to have sex” or “how to last longer,” or “how to be a good lover.” These sharings, are not teachings.
How could someone in society, who is heavily conditioned; could experience the depth of human sexuality? That individual may need to discover and acknowledge who he IS “now,” rather than to follow some ideal of how he SHOULD BE. That person may need to be aware in such a way, as to see for himself all the beliefs, hang-ups, ideals and conditionings surrounding that which we call “I.” That liberation from that mind-driven “I” will give the empty space for pleasure and enjoyment to emerge naturally in Life, which otherwise is restrained by a conditioned mind.
Tantra is not to be taught through words, but shared through presence. It is a path for self-realization when the person is “ready” and that means, that it may not happen when “I” want it.
If we could just observe a thought as if it was the opinion of someone else, we could learn the art of knowing who we ARE through the conditionings of what we have learned.
It is that simple, but the idea that “my thought is mine, “ is destroying the opportunity.
“I wanted” to write something today. “I” did not know what to write. Most of the times “I” don’t. The thoughts are merely flowing. It would be a lie to say: “These are MY thoughts.” This awareness allows for what some call “creativity.” When “I” am not, there is… creativity.
It is not “I” being inspired, but merely catching the thoughts and putting them in writing.
Many times “I” get surprised that “I” could write “religiously” in 2 blogs. “I” wouldn’t be able to, if “I” thought that it was “I.”
Am “I” some sort of medium or channel? Everyone is. It is just that we don’t realize it.
We are “ONE.” Right? We like that “concept.”
That ONE is expressed in many ways through many people. That oneness is expressed through many individualities to go back to the source, ONE. That journey is what makes up Life.
A thought is what connects us with everything, to that changing oneness at any given time. It is only a connector but most believe that to be “I.”
OBSERVE the thought in a non-judgmental way, so it goes through “you.” That is all. Reject it or show favoritism to it, and it will stick around.
Both ways (rejection or favoritism) help to build our ego. We will build a personality framed by ideas of what is “good or bad.”
What is the source of that discrimination?
A 3-year-old child does not know what “good” or “bad” means. He learns though the conditioning of his parents. If he touches his genital, he may see disapproval from his parents, he may feel the rejection coming from them, their conditioning. That is the starting point.
In “Spirituality” for the masses, thoughts are separated as “good/bad, wasteful, neutral, etc.”
All that labeling is meant to give the seeker a way to “choose” what he should think.
It cannot happen.
Despite the efforts of the seeker, thoughts will come in unfiltered. However, the individual may impose a thought in top of the natural one, to make himself believe that he is “changing his thinking.”
That is an illusion.
In a world conditioned to DO things to “change the world,” we cannot DO a thing to change “our” thoughts from the root. Have we observed that?
As we ARE so our thoughts shall BE.
However, we do not know who we ARE, for we are busy DOING changes to look like someone else: The guru, the saint, the angel, the artist, the star, the rich and famous, etc. That is what we call to be “creative,” to copy someone who is accepted, deemed to be worthwhile, “successful.”
Every time we hold on to a particular thought, we become defined by it. It is that definition which will confine us, through the security and comfort of beliefs systems and ideas to preserve that thought.
Living through thoughts we forget what is “real.”
Are you connected with “social media”? through “virtual communities”?
That is the world of the mind and ideas. Because I write a note or post a picture to others, I believe that I am connected, that I have a relation with others.
That is not so. It is only superficial.
It is like watching the Ocean through a camera and being able to hear the sounds of Nature through a CD. There is no presence. No reality.
However, our minds have been trained to believe that this is the “real” thing. It is less satisfying and fulfilling, but for the mind; there is no difference.
It is when we go beyond the mind, when “reality” has a different shape.
Beyond the mind is “no-mind.”
That is meditation. That is to feel life rather than to verbalize it with another thought…