When our minds are set up to only see the “fruit,” the “outcome,” the “end result,” the “achieved goal,” then it truly matters how much strength we use to put the “ball in motion.”
It is not by becoming the squeaky wheel, how things could get accomplished; but there is a “form” to “make things happen.”
That “form” comes with experience. It comes when there is consciousness of our own activities well beyond the pursue of the “end goal.” It comes when there is the understanding that the “means” we use is what will take us to a goal without sending an egotistical message to the world.
A change does not come about by pushing things. Any sort of violence to get into some change, means that the goal is more important than the means, however; the goal is merely an instant, which will change into something else… as soon as accomplished.
Nothing remains the same… not even our expectations!
Mary Anne is learning how to dance “salsa.” She has been taking “salsa” lessons for 5 months now. She is dedicated. She wants to learn how to dance but…. Her mind gets “blank,” she says. She forgets the steps. When you see her dancing, there is no sense of rhythm in her steps. There is no joy in her dancing. For her it is all about remembering the steps. Dance is no longer about enjoying a good time, but it is the pressure to achieve something.
Mary Anne is not taking lessons because of her desire to learn how to dance. She is there because her boyfriend, Enrique is a “great” salsa dancer. Enrique is a perfectionist. Enrique wants to see Mary Anne converted into an outstanding “salsa” dancer… after all, Enrique is the “greatest dancer.” 🙂
Mary Anne is in love with Enrique, but she does not love herself. Enrique is only in love with himself. Mary Anne is viewed as an extension of him.
In life, we could act like Mary Anne. We could “sacrifice” ourselves to do different things because we love someone. That could be the guy/girl next door or even God, nevertheless; whatever we attempt to do for “him/her” will not have zest, life unless we feel that we are doing that for ourselves, that we want that for ourselves… and in life, to discover that honesty is what sometimes takes time. That is why to do something out of love cannot happen when there is “two” different individuals, but “one.” Ego gets in the way of that oneness.
This wanting for “ourselves” is not a mental thing or an ideal. It is to discover our circumstances at a particular point in time, embrace that and move forward. To discover “ourselves” is the first step to uncover it. We cannot pretend here.
In life, we may act like Enrique as well. Our life is meant to support our ego. Everyone else should support our egotistical ways. We use people and abuse them. People are just the means to our goal.
Mary Anne pretends not to be egoless. Enrique does not pretend, but at the end and in both cases, is just ego in between them.
Mary Anne may be a great dancer. She may have a great potential, but under the circumstances that she is in, Mary Anne will not be able to learn to dance “salsa.” As a matter of fact, if she does; she will not enjoy it.
Enrique puts in motion the “ball of expectation” with such strength, that it could only bounce back into his face.
If Enrique pursues his egotistical ways, Mary Anne could hate “salsa” altogether… Her “love” for him will turn little by little into hate…
Once the ball of expectation is set in motion, we need to wait and see. Take a look. Observe. That is how we could recognize the damage of that ball when set in motion.
The above is the issue with expectations. It is not just about our desires, but how those are perceived by others around us. Once the ball gets moving ….there is no way to stop it.
The above words of wisdom are from the lyrics of a well-known song…
To explain life in a paragraph without using beliefs could be a senseless trip.
Nevertheless in the experience of something which we could perform in a day-to-day basis, we could understand the greater picture without boring and brainy intellectual comprehension. 🙂
Life is playing a song. That song could be different for every individual. As a matter of fact, even though it could be the same song, the music will be heard through different ears… That is lesson number 1 in the “Mambo number 5” song.
Lesson number 2 resides in the steps that we perform, commonly known as “actions” or “karma.”
“One step to the left, two to the right. Swing your arms to the front and then turn around.” Those are nice steps to learn. We could learn those steps from a religion or from the school system or from some place. I hear the Guru saying: “Repeat the steps over and over and you will see that they will become second nature to you.”
Great! That is fantastic… Shall I do the same steps to every song that life plays? Here comes the Pop song, followed by some “bachata” and then some “ragtime” music.. and all I know is “One step to the left, two to the right…” 🙂 Maybe those are good steps for some “electric slide” in a group dance… Everyone follows the same steps… Don’t think just follow… Forget about thinking!! The issue is that we forget to feel the music…
Lesson Number 3 comes in handy: Music is something that you feel. Just like life. If you “think” the steps that you are to perform while listening to Music, you will not be dancing. You will not have the openness to let the music “take control and the rhythm move you” in a different way through every song in life.
Then lesson number 4 appears as a question: So that means that I can move however “I feel” like? 🙂
If you move with anger, with force, with violence; you will not be able to dance for too long. In fact, your movements cannot be harmonious; your steps cannot flow through every song, through every transition. You may call that a dance, but to dance means to move flawlessly, with easiness and without exerting yourself, it means balance of rhythm and breath. You may have lots of rhythm but without stamina, your dance will not last for too long.
If you feel enjoyment and appreciation of the song being played, your steps will follow, as you will pick up the rhythm….
You will be dancing every song with different steps! Isn’t variety the spice of life?
And finally lesson number 5: Become “one” with the song. That is “merged” with the music. In that way, there will not be “someone” dancing different songs; and letting life “move him,” but rather there will only be music. The dancer will be part of the “package” so to dance does not feel as if someone is “obligating” someone to dance as a final destiny; but rather the enjoyment of hearing the music will be in dancing it… There is no dance without music and no music without rhythm. Ego is the main element of separation of the dancer and the music.
Being alive is dancing. Knowing how to live means to enjoy the music and the dance. 🙂