Tagged: day dreaming

Day dreaming and emotional affairs


Brittany is sitting in meditation. She is counting her breaths and after a few minutes, her mind drifts into a story, a romantic story resembling the movie that she watched a few days ago. Brittany does not realize that she is daydreaming, until all of a sudden; she “wakes up,” and then goes back to counting her breathings while meditating… 1…2…3…4…

When Brittany drives her car; her mind goes into “dream world” while she relies in her “automatic pilot” to take her home safely.

At work, Brittany maybe listening to someone talking and within 3 minutes (that is her span of attention) her mind flies away to some reality away from reality.

That is called “day dreaming.”

In a modern society, this type of activity is common. Basically, it takes us away from experiencing awareness, to be present in the “now” and will give us a “free “ scape from this “reality.”

As people feel more isolated due to different situations, which is exacerbated by the use of the internet as a way of communication, we rely in our minds to take us away from the “cruel world” of what it is. In a few words, “my imagination” is better than what exists.

When a person is emotionally affected under the sensation of this isolation, that person will search for an outlet to procure that which is missing in her/his life.

That situation brings what is known as an “emotional affair.”
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As we can see, “affairs” are not only physical anymore. In a “virtual” world; things change. Our minds will accommodate and will make us experience something which merely reflects our own longings and unresolved issues.

Emotional affairs are very common. It does not have the stigma of “cheating,” it is relatively safe when there is no physical contact, but it has the potential for damaging a current relationship.

The person lost in “daydreaming,” is absorbed in her own mind. Nothing “real” could match that imagined world.

In my experience, this type of situation not only affects people in a traditional marriage; but also it affects people who follow a religious ideal or faith.

Those who feel to be “married with God,” are more likely to experience this, when their emotional needs are not fulfilled. In that case “God” becomes the relationship in marriage, and someone else; becomes the one fulfilling the emotional needs.

There is nothing wrong in honestly feeling a relationship with God; but let us just be aware that God will not fulfill our own emotional issues. That goes against the law of karma… 🙂

True spirituality is wholesome, it is not about denying the body or emphasizing the spirit.

It is about balancing the unity in a human existence, that is the body, the soul, the mind… all of that.

It becomes then, increasingly important to study the self and at this particular time, our minds.

We create a world in our minds which does not reflect what exists. Because we do not fully know ourselves we lack self esteem, which in turn creates a “needy” self looking to obtain that which we feel is needed, from others who cannot fulfill those needs.

That is an illusion, for “others” cannot have what is lacking in ourselves.