Many may ask: What is that state of “no-I” that you talk about? How do you become egoless?
Many want an explanation and a method to practice.
Few will realize after all these articles shared here, that before being egoless, we need to experience the utmost ego that we are capable of experiencing.
That is the principle of polarity in action. Your Ego has to be mature, ready to die. Without that requisite there is no surrender.
In other words, until you have not reached the point of saturation of ego in your Life, to be ego-less is out of the question.
As a matter of fact, any method that we may practice in the meantime, is meant to increase the size of the ego.
For instance, if you join a religion as a method to become free from ego, that in itself is building your ego. That is not “bad” at all. By being in that religion we may feel to be “special,” a “chosen one,” that is enhancing our previous ego. That is wonderful! 🙂
Many do not realize what is actually happening until the polarity changes.
When the ego has inflated itself to the utmost, it will explode like a balloon, then through that explosion; the ego will dissolve little by little. That is a process as well.
That process of inflating the ego, is painful. It brings suffering to our ego, until we give up.
That giving up, giving into something new is the meaning of surrendering.
What do you give up?
Yourself. That ego which believes to be you.
That surrendering could be to a Guru, a God, a loved one, etc. What is important is the process of surrendering not to who you surrender to. It is through that surrendering how something new, a new Life could be experienced.
Our ego will delay that experience of fully surrendering until the ego is fat enough to explode. Therefore, only those who have reached the pinnacle of suffering due to their ego are the only ones who could be ready to surrender and become empty of themselves.
For the rest, any path they may take, whether a Godly or a Devilish path… all of those paths are just methods to increase the size of their own egos.
That is why, there is not a “bad” path.
When you surrender, someone else takes control of your Life. You are not in charge anymore. It is through that experience how someone else, can appear in you instead of the same old ego.
To surrender the ego is an act of love, manifested through the death of that one who was there before.
That is how Love comes out of Death, just to manifest in Life. Life and Death are together.
Without the experience of having surrendered completely to become one with someone, there cannot be love between humans, for there will be only 2 fighting egos trying to possess or to boss around the other.
Eventually it becomes the relationship of the master and the slave. There is a dependency between both roles, there is a hierarchy.
The possibilities in a relationship with someone are as follows:
One ego plus another ego equals the duality of love and hate. That is the typical relationship nowadays. It is about having “security” and that kills love.
One ego plus a surrendered individual means the possibility for 2 to be one.
However, the remaining ego will give the tune to the relationship. This is the model of relationship of the 1800’s when the woman surrendered to her husband.
The surrendered person will lose her ego, her previous Life. The one who did not, will be reflected through her. Lesser ego means to be closer to a “0” a “nothing” so, 0+0 will be nothing, “0.”
That is love. That is freedom. That is death.
Love is no longer a duality, but something to be discovered at every second.
The other day I purchased a bed linen. The Company selling it had an unusual ad: “It is said that Webster’s first dictionary in 1806 defined success as being “generous, prosperous and kind” Regrettably, the most recent published definition of success is “getting or achieving wealth, respect and fame.” We do business based on the 1806 definition.”
Observe how the meaning of words change in time. 200 years later, that same word means something completely different, thus a definition will change in “no time” in time. 🙂
Take the word “god” for example. Isn’t the definition of that word different among people? Who has the “right” definition?
The word “success” is a human invention. Our society has bought into it. To be successful is the objective, the thing to attain; although it is not clear what it means.
How wealthy is wealthy? How famous is fame? Isn’t respect nowadays another word for inspiring fear? Who is the authority to define what something is?
The guy down the street wants “respect,” and he earns it through his ability to inspire fear into his neighbors.
Being “generous, prosperous and kind” is not a corporate attitude or behavior towards business. We cannot make ourselves generous or kind through a corporate mission statement. We ARE or we ARE not. If we behave as if we were kind, generous, etc. from 8 Am to 5 PM, Monday through Friday… We ARE fake.
Words meaning absolutely nothing. Pretty, touchy words, no feelings. All mind, no heart.
That is the same scenario when most talk about love and loving someone. There is the blurb, the political correct phrases, the catchy words, but nothing else.
Love is not something to talk about. Words destroy the sacredness of the moment, the relationship, what it could be… the feeling.
Therefore, “Being successful,” means anything that you desire.
Achieving that, means very little unless there is an agreement that it is worth something.
For mice, to be “successful” could be to get cheese from a human refrigerator. But mice are “intelligent” enough not to worry about success.
Being successful is taken to extremes in our society. For instance:
What is so important about a football game or a “world cup” soccer game?
Nothing…. It is just a game. But yet there is a common agreement that this game could be in fact a “historic moment.” Everyone is watching it. It is transcendent… It is team A versus team B. The “World champ” (yet another pretty word meaning nothing) will victoriously emerge from that “duel of nemesis…”
That is the human world of fantasy. Something to pass time with, to keep the mind entertained until death arrives… Then success is over; then there is only “losing the battle” against cancer, drunk drivers, medical doctors, and all excuses death may use to “take us away from our loved ones.” 🙂
All the winning, all the success gets taken away by Death; then under that cloudy perspective; we become automatic “losers.” We believe that… unless there is an “afterlife,” then the “I” could be “successful” there…
As our minds step away from words, the meaning of living Life in the innocence of an empty mind, will replace the meaning of the words.
Every Life story from the “lowly” untouchable mosquito to the immortal Sam the true “man,” is neither a success nor a failure.
In Life no one could be a success nor a failure but only in the “fantasy island” of the conditioned human mind, that is the mind full of duality.
Remember: What someone says it is not accurately what they mean or feel. It cannot be.
Beware of words.
She looked at me with a hopeful look in her eyes. She asked me: “Are you sure that we are eternal?”
What for some is certainty, for others is a belief.
Every individual’s Life has a unique process.
The fruit in the tree has a process to mature. A Lifetime. The fruit has no objective by becoming ripe.
For the fruit, it is merely a stage in its Life process.
Whether the fruit in the tree becomes rotten or eaten by an animal or a human, the end product is the same: to recycle itself back into the Totality.
We are One. We cannot be separated from that oneness. Consciousness binds our forms together into that Oneness.
To deeply go into this observation means to understand the process of being and non-being; what for most could be called Life and Death.
As in any duality, humans have separated 2 processes, which truly are the continuation of each other. Different form perhaps, but nonetheless; One.
Life and Death are just like Day and Night.
Afraid of Death, we choose to cling to Life…. For dear Life. We count on miracles. We pray for our wishes to become true. We call the Gods and the Devils to help us dissipate our despair, even though eventually; Death will be there.
It is just a matter of time.
That time, is what we call Life.
Death is brought by Life itself.
The insanity, is to live a Life with fear of Death. That means not to live Life, but to be already death, even though breathing.
What is the preparation for death and dying?
To live fully, totally. To embrace ‘what is.’
The meaning of “fully and totally,” will be different for every individual according to their particular processes, their particular awareness.
Nevertheless, it could be simplified as the duality of “Going away from the self” just to come back to it. That may be known as the “journey.”
The waters of the Ocean of Life are moving “you” from left to right. What do “you” do?
We’ve been taught to “fight” until we die, to support “I-ness,” to get our way no matter what, by separating from the Ocean of Life.
When we understand the currents of Life, to relax so we could float is the obvious path… to allow for the currents to take “you” from left to right while enjoying the experience. If “you” are going right… “you” must go left at one point. It is a matter of time.
To learn to relax is the task to “do” for the one who is conscious of the “I.” We call that to feel “peace,” and to “get” that “objective,” we may have been advised that we need to “do” some “meditation,” to follow some “stress –free” life style, etc. Lots of “doing.”
However, there is no “doing” needed there, for relaxation starts in the mind.
How do we “make” the mind peaceful? 🙂
By BEING peaceful. There is nothing to do. Not a thing.
BEING peaceful is a Life process, assimilation of experiences coming into fruition. There is no “method.” It has to happen naturally to be true. It cannot be manipulated by an “I” desiring to “be peaceful” because that “I” has that goal in mind.
Being non-peaceful, calls for peacefulness, sooner or later.
Become aware of that lack of peace. Trying to fix that “problem” will only increase our rejection to what we are in a point in time.
Life will change into Death all by itself. “Your” help is not required. 🙂
Can Death change into Life?
Just as night changes into day and day into night. Just as the current of the Ocean will go from left to right or right to left…
Then, what is the human problem, the human dilemma?
To be afraid of change, of course.
To be afraid of Life and Death, for both of them are change. The “I” does not realize to be change itself and not something static.
The “Me” coming back alive is the dream of the “I.”
Some call that reincarnation. That is their belief.
They call that a soul, the spirit… that is their belief.
“I am soul.”
However, there is no “I am” for an eternal “being” in continuous change. Nothing could be static for something meant to change.
We are the Totality, One. Different forms but bound by consciousness. We go away as a drop of the Ocean to experience individuality but go back into the Ocean, just to leave again. It is the eternal dance of going away just to come back. Day changing into Night, going left just to go right…
The experience of BEING a drop does not take away the fact, of BEING the Ocean itself. The drop will disappear, but the Ocean cannot. The drop is in the Ocean.
“You” are but “you” are not.
When “you” are not, there is only everything, Oneness, Totality.
It is just a matter of awareness not of logic or reason. A diferent Consciousness cannot be faked, it cannot be “achieved,” it is not a goal… It happens when the “I” allows it.
That is the chorus of a popular Spanish song by Ruben Blades: “Pedro Navaja.” – “Life gives you surprises.”
I grew up with that song and listened to it so many times that I knew it by heart.
Ananda was riding his bicycle along a popular bike path. He has ridden that path many times. As never before, Ananda stopped 3 times to accommodate his gear. As he was reaching a bridge, which overlooks the bay, a 10-year-old kid took the middle of the road. He was about 100 yards in front of Ananda. Then the kid decided to turn around unexpectedly as he was looking right and left minding his own little world.
Ananda saw him going towards the right and in a split second decided to avoid him by going left.
The kid “decided” to go left as well and now they were 20 yards apart. Ananda looked at the kid’s eyes and he appeared to have seen Ananda.
Ananda was going about 20 miles per hour and used his brakes to avoid a collision…. That split “decision” allowed Ananda to “fly like a bird” and to go off the pavement into the rocks near the bay.
Nothing happened to the kid.
Ananda landed on top of the rocky area. He felt groggy as if he had received a punch.
Ananda stood up and spat blood from his mouth.
The father of the kid who saw the incident walked by and apologized profusely while the kid’s mother was scolding the kid for not being careful.
Ananda said to the kid : “You didn’t see me?” No response. The father of the kid arranged Ananda’s bike, which was fine after all.
Ananda stood for a few minutes before leaving and waved good-bye to the kid who didn’t look back to him.
Ananda understood at that point the forces of destiny.
Ananda had to go through that experience. It was completely in his hands to avoid it, but it seemed as if the kid’s mission was to allow for this incident to happen. Ananda checked his gear 3 times but that was the exact time, the kid needed to show up at.. the right time.
Ananda wasn’t angry at all but appreciative to be alive for he understood that this had to happen and that there is a deeper meaning than falling off the bike.
Ananda spoke with his friend Mathias, the wise tree.
Ananda: “ Friend, you have warned me sometimes about dangerous incidents to be extra-careful, but not this time. Why?”
Mathias: “ That tells you that Mathias respects what it is in destiny. Mathias knows that this accident is meant to soften you. It is part of your necessary life experience.”
Ananda: “Soften me? Indeed. I have 3 stitches on my lip and bruises with lacerations in my right leg and left hand.”
Mathias:” This accident could have been a lot worse. Your internal organs are fine. You just have minor cuts and contusions.”
Ananda:” Yes, I realize that I could have been hurt badly or even be dead by now. It amazes to know that I landed on sharp rocks…”
Mathias: “ What protects you now is that you are living for the common good. In your path, you are learning to be one with yourself just to be in communion with everyone else.”
Was that a miracle? Shall I burn some candles and worship God or my friend Mathias thanking them for allowing me to be “alive”?
Obviously that experience has a particular purpose in my life, which if I had “followers,” they could call that a miracle and “alleluyah” the incident as a proof of a miracle.
However, that is not the point of experiencing the accident.
To soften myself. That is the lesson that Life has chosen a particular way to teach me.
Every life experience is catered for an individual. Destiny is already there waiting for the path to be walked by the life walker, nevertheless; to live for the common good is the best life insurance; for it is not just about our own life, our own family, our own religion… but it is about the common point of communion with everyone, with the Totality.
The practical aspect of finding emptiness, voidness or any other label to describe the absence of existence of the “I” could be an experience which could start our search for meaning.
It is no longer about God who is going to help “me,” because there is no “me” in that experience.
As Steve Jobs mentioned:” Everyone wants to go to Paradise, but no one wants to die.”
That paradox is something to keep in our minds and prayers, for that speaks loudly about our own honesty.
Every time we go to sleep, there is that emptiness waiting for us. Have you noticed it? That is the emptiness, which fills the self, the “I” with fear.
The body and the mind calls for that experience of “rest,” as if someone gives us an injection with anesthesia, then we fall sleep. We “rest in peace.” 🙂
However, when the “I” fights that natural experience, then struggle will be experienced along with suffering.
When we wake up, there may be an instant when consciousness is but not a role. The role, the “this is me, don’t you remember?” happens in less than a second after that. We could not remember who we are, that is the personality; but the feeling of being there…. of existing without doubt, will be there whether we remember who we were or not.
Mathias, the wise tree; was speaking with Ananda about sending feelings from the heart as a way to “help” the Totality.
Mathias: “When you send your feelings to the Totality that also has an effect on a particular person. If there is an expectation or a grudge inside you, that becomes a wall which diminishes the strength of the feelings being sent. Become empty.”
Ananda: “Friend, I used to feel that emptiness that many are afraid of, but it is gone now. However, I cannot point out a particular practice or thing which has accomplished that.”
Mathias: “ It is not a particular thing you have done. It happens when it is the time. Buddha or Jesus did not write any books about it, because they did not have anything to write about that experience.”
Ananda: “But the followers without the experience, wrote about that experience.”
Mathias: “ You said it.”
At the end of the road, when we have experienced every religion there is and read about every philosophy that exists, we could be full of beliefs until the final moment… but when fear of not being is transformed into embracing the experience of being who we are, then emptiness is no longer something to fear.
Once we know ourselves; there is nothing to fear.
The above sentence will be misunderstood or not understood by those without the experience.
The drop of the water is the Ocean itself, but when the drop believes about being a drop and not the Ocean; there is fear of not existing.
Ananda was sharing with Mathias, the wise tree; about the experience of his father, who is in the hospital about to depart to a new experience; which is known as death or life, depending on our perspective.
Ananda: Here is a good person suffering by being conscious of his organs shutting down one by one and knowing that he will not survive. How is that going to be helpful for him to learn about detachment from the perception of the self, the “I,” in less than a month?
Mathias: He needs to die of the self. Look at you, how many years have it taken you to die from your old self?
Ananda: It has taken me at least 11 years, but you have helped me. What about him?
Mathias: Look. It has taken you 11 years of your life for Ananda to appear. Your father will learn that experience in less than a month. Do you remember your experience of feeling alone for such long time? Is your father alone?
Ananda: He is not alone.
Mathias: He is walking towards the abyss, the wind is blowing on his face and he does not want to jump because he feels that emptiness. We tell him: Jump! Do you need a push? But he will not jump.
Even though he has a powerful mind which is able to keep him alive despite major organs of his body not working, he does not realize about the beliefs that he has in his mind which are keeping him afraid.
Jump! Nothing will happen to you, you are eternal…
Ananda: He needs someone to trust. Just like when people have a belief in a God who will help them. I don’t know who he may trust like that.
Mathias: What would you tell your father in a few lines about the experience of dying from the self?
Ananda: To embrace the experience. To disconnect from the pain with his powerful mind and to erase all beliefs about death.
Mathias: Did that experience of dissolving the arrogance of the self happened to you because you did something specific in your life?
Ananda: No. It just happened.
Mathias: Share that with everyone. It does not matter what you do in life to make something happen, what is meant to happen… will happen despite your doings.
Ananda spoke with his father for the last time. Ananda thought he could help him “jump” for his father had listened to him in the past.
“Dad. You have always had a powerful mind. Your mind controls your body as you are doing it now. But your mind has also beliefs which are giving you fear of what we know as death.
Fear because of having a “Me.” When the “Me” faces that there is no “Me,” there is fear of losing that, which is known.
That is death.
We are eternal. There is only life.
Embrace that experience!
With much love, always.”
In “Spirituality” the words that we use to define certain experiences are not the experience in itself but merely a pointer to give us an idea.
I am quoting “spirituality” because that is the word which most will understand. It is a word with a “high level of acceptance” perceived as “higher than mundane.”
Nevertheless, inside my heart what I truly mean is “living life.”
Living life may sound as ordinary, something that everyone does like eating or sleeping; but to perceive the extraordinary into something ordinary is truly a different consciousness, which is not bound by terminology or concepts.
“Spirituality” is not isolated from living life.
Mathias, the wise tree said to Ananda: “ There is a difference between to bow down and to surrender.
To bow down to life means to say “Wow” to be in awe in front of something. To surrender has the flavor of giving up, to resign, to give control to someone else… sorrow.”
In “normal” Spirituality, the word “surrendering” is used.
Surrender your ego. Surrender your life. Surrender this or that… It is still the “I” in submission as if kneeling down in front of something, which is more powerful. There is separation of “I” and the other thing.
That type of attitude is the beginning of low self-esteem.
In the hierarchy of religions, a higher priest may request to a lower rank monk to surrender his ego to him.
For most that could be accomplished by belittling someone in different ways.
That is called abusive behavior and it has nothing to do with transforming “someone.”
There is no one who can transform anyone else. “True” transformation comes from inner realization.
To bow down to life is an inner gesture of acknowledgment to change. There is nothing to give up, nothing to lose, nothing to be sad about.
A palm tree bows down to the winds of a hurricane. It is that flexibility what allows the tree to survive and to find out a new skill.
“Wow… such is the wind!”
“Wow…such is death!”
The gesture of letting something go ahead, that permission does not come from losing a “battle.”
To surrender means to prostrate internally, to submit, to succumb to something, which is viewed as higher, “better than thou.”
It is that understanding which has started devotion, the guilt factor, a rebellious attitude or fear to be no more.
When we bow down to life, that gesture becomes our sign of trust, for life will provide exactly what is needed by every one of us in order to discover ourselves.
That may be “spirituality.” Thus, anything that life brings as an experience; is there for a particular length of time before going away…. If the lesson has been learned.
Bowing down to life is to be “obedient.”
To surrender is to repeat that lesson until learned.