Tagged: denial

The paths: Accept or Deny

To get a feel of Life, we may come to arrive to 2 different perspectives which paradoxically will take us to the same place.
We are nothing.
We are Everything.
That is it. That is why, I have written in a past article, that nothing is equal to everything.
If the above cannot be understood or the selection of words were not proper, the Hua Hu Ching, mentions 2 paths:
The path of acceptance
The path of denial.
Thus, in Life acceptance equals denial.

The mind probably is confused. The above does not make sense. Acceptance cannot be equal to denial. They are opposites. Correct?

So an explanation is needed: Affirm everything and everyone. Embrace all things. Extend your goodwill to every direction regardless of circumstances. That is acceptance.
Another name?
Tantra. That is acceptance of everything including your sexuality.
Another name? Taoism, openness, surrendering.

And the other path?
Everything that we perceive and think is an illusion, supported by our limited senses and limited understanding. Peel all the veils to arrive at the oneness of all.
Another name?
Yoga. That is denial of everything to be one, to be in union, to merge, to be nothing. Another name? Buddhism, Zen. 

Our society is between those paths of self-realization.
We are taught to be someone, to become someone.
We are taught to support one side of a duality and to reject the other. Choose acceptance or choose denial not both. 
What is “good”? What society teaches you to be good.
What is “evil”? what society teaches you to be evil. Yet, good and evil come always together. Our rejection of one side of a duality, must be experienced sooner or later.
Have you seen that in every issue there are at least 2 sides? Right and Wrong.
Morality has an imaginary line, that keeps moving every time to protect the “right ones” and to condemn the “wrong ones.”

Another name for this path? Insanity.
Most traditional religions embrace that. 
Bring a God. Reject the Devil. Both cannot live without each other. You choose one. You are someone.
Support what is “right.” Reject what is “wrong.” Fight with “someone.” You are “someone.” Another name for “Someone”? Ego.

When you are someone, you cannot be Everything.

When you are someone, to be Nothing is something to reject to be afraid of… but yet to be nothing is the way to be everything, and when “you” are everything… “you” cannot cease to BE, although, “you” are not …  🙂

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Grief and transformation of emotions

What do you feel when a loved one dies?
What do you feel when you experience a broken heart?
What would you experience if you are told that you only have a month to live?

Most of us will perceive those experiences as a hardship, something that shouldn’t happen to us, but yet it does.

Psychologists have come up with stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Observe in yourself how grief transforms into anger and how that in turn will transform into sadness, depression and finally into acceptance.

Nevertheless, for most that final stage of acceptance is not “true” acceptance. It is more accurate to call it to be submissive.
The angry tiger becomes a docile kitty cat.
We could fight, struggle with anyone except with Life itself.
Observe how the experience of opposite emotions will be going through the experience of the “cycle” of grief: I could deny, just to accept. I could feel anger, just to be submissive. I could bargain with the higher powers to be, rationalizing the incident; just to be depressed.

Acceptance is not submissiveness.
Acceptance is openness to the experience.

When you are a “Life walker,” a seeker; you may find out that those 5 stages of grief are not accurate in your case.
There is one important stage, which will return a true smile in our faces.
That final stage is called GRATITUDE.

Gratitude is not say “Thank you” as many think. Gratitude means to be able to be fulfilled in yourself. Nothing is lacking. You are at ease and able to live with you.
“You” are Life itself, complete. Nevertheless, most “normal” people cannot experience that yet. For them gratitude is just another “spiritual keyword,” a nice way to say “thank you,” with the mind.

If a loved one passes away, your stage of grief will be fully transformed through “spiritual alchemy,” when there is a sense of gratitude in you. A loved one is gone into another journey. You are not lacking. That sense of grief was shown to you through that event. You are grief. Nothing wrong with that. However, you can transform it, that is; use the same energy to come up with something else: Acceptance, Gratitude.

When we are not aware of transformation of energies, we will only repress them to try to act tough, quasi-spiritual, disconnected, disinterested, etc.

Many individuals will experience grief, express it and keep it for as long as they can. They thrive in getting pity from others. It is a way for them to feel important as people may finally notice them. Others, may reject grief as they have been conditioned to believe that they have to show a happy face all the time.
Very few will transform it, and yet even fewer; will feel GRATITUDE out of that experience. Ultimately, there is FREEDOM in GRATITUDE.

A trauma or fear of Life comes when we have not reached a state of true acceptance, when we are continuously struggling with Life.
Our conditioning that we should fight for everything may work in the “office world,” but it will never work with Life.

The mind is our inner TV. It has so many images. Most times we believe in those images as “real” and add our own expectations, our own story of how life should be for “me.” When a setback is felt and grief comes in the horizon, that TV show will be the same repeat which in turn will bring more suffering to the ego, the “I.”
Why is that suffering?
Because my expectation of what Life should be for “me” does not fit reality. Ego cannot accept that. The repetition of the images is there so we don’t forget. It is a nagging reminder.
Anger, denial, etc. are expressions of the fighting ego.

EGO cannot have GRATITUDE, for ego always wants something else. Ego is in a state of lacking fulfillment.
That is why it is said that “time heals.” For the ego will look for something else in time to cover the previous trauma.

Self-observation is an invaluable tool for self-knowledge. For that to happen, we need to allow ourselves to feel the full range of an emotional experience. Life is always teaching us, showing us, who we truly are.

Until December 1st! Enjoy Life.  🙂