Tagged: dependencies

Dependencies and the search for perfection


A preference could be small or it could be extremely important. When it is small, that preference is manageable. When that preference has intensity, it becomes a dependency.

A dependency then will show us the extremes of our personality. Thus, for the “life traveler,” to be aware of his own dependencies is “good.”

In the ”black or white” world a dependency is “bad.”

What is the difference between an individual set into the “black or white” ways and a “life traveler” openness?
Consciousness. Awareness.
That is all.

When a “life traveler” is ready to strip down his dependencies, life will offer the experiences for those dependencies to be looked at.

For example, most “normal” individuals despise being “alone.” Definitely our society is not meant for a person to be by himself or herself. There are many pressures, many traditions, many expectations, many beliefs.

To have time to be alone is an important requisite to know that which we call “self.”
No shortcuts on that.
When the dependency of others is strong, self-knowledge is low. It is in that state of dependency when “relationships” happen in a “normal” way. It is called “companionship.”

Until the individual is not whole in himself, there is no relationship as “sharing” but as depending due to the strong preference of not being alone.

What is individual wholeness?
In previous articles it was mentioned that there is an “inner family” in the self. The “inner kid,” the “man,” and the “woman.” They are all together with their own needs and wants. To balance those energies is necessary before integrating into the Totality, whether that is a relationship with someone or not, but Integration is important.

Someone asked at one time “where is this knowledge coming from?”
Obviously is not by reading books and listening to classes given by gurus about “spirituality.”
Obviously is not from following religious groups which could interpret my experiences according to their dogmas. Obviously is not by believing in a “black or white” God.

It is by observing Nature and that which we call the self. It is by listening to Nature and the self.
It comes when we feel at ease with ourselves, when we are ready to strip down our beliefs and emotional hang ups and open our arms to the experiences that life may bring.

To “know” is already in us, all we need to “do” is to let it emerge… and it will emerge when the dependencies lower their intensity.

Is to read spiritual books and to listen to spiritual classes “bad” then? 🙂
Of course not. It is part of the changing experience, BUT…we could develop a dependency on those things as well… and life will change the route.

For those who are ready, here is a little something:

When someone else makes the decision for us to change our ways…for example, “reading books” into “not reading books anymore,” that is to lack respect for the life path of someone.

When we make our own decision not to read books anymore for whatever reason, then we embrace repression, rigidity and a new belief.

When it happens naturally without thought, without inner clash, without drama… then that is natural.
For many “life travelers,” to let things happen becomes the biggest guilt trip of all. Trapped in beliefs, they do not allow themselves to change.

Life is change.

When we perceive that perfection which is not a “static” thing, but continuous movement; how on earth could we say something like: “I strive for perfection”?

Perfection is here, right now… but we are not aware of it and we have an idea of something that we want to “achieve in the future.”


If perfection is right now, ever-changing and moving in all respects, what is there to “do”? 😉

To enjoy it and to appreciate it.

If we learn to do that without reason, without thought, without cultivation and compulsion, naturally… then we may be living life in joy.
That could be labeled as perfection.

Dependencies: The path to slavery

Our own ideas keep us slave from feeling freedom. Not only freedom from a mind full of dependencies, but more important, free to behave and be as our inner calling in life expresses.

This is to be an artist in life. The canvas is your own life. The music is expressed in your own words spoken with intention, vitality, rhythm and timing. Your dance is in every breath, in every smile; by being grateful of the gift of life.

Dependency resides in our minds. A dependent mind is looking for security. It is looking for certainty in a world where nothing is stipulated, where anything and everything could happen. This is the life to be enjoyed by the courageous ones through a challenge; or by the innocent ones who just enjoy newness, for the sake of it.

A dependent mind is instilled in our values: The wife who rather suffers in the jail of her home than to face being alone. Her mind will create the beast of loneliness to scare her. The man who feels worthless without a certain paycheck amount. The teenager who feels pressured to do things as her “hang out” group desires. The nun who feels that her beliefs are exactly what God beliefs; and without those beliefs, she will be worthless.

Dependency on “our” religious group, the family, friends… even the state of the body. All of those self-imposed “jails” will bring suffering. In this exchange, we are willing to go through self-imposed penance for illusory security.

Look at any belief that you have. Look at any idea or preconception that you have. Look at any opinion that you defend and promote. All of those are golden jails. There is a “life sentence,” going on in our minds.

Have you ever wondered if you could look at the ocean with fresh eyes? That is, if we look at the ocean in front of us and that doesn’t move us or touches our heart, our inner being; we are not looking. We are not really seeing. We are truly blind.
We are just thinking while looking. Bringing back memories. Living in our head.

In that state of being it is impossible to look at something with fresh eyes, so it is never the “same ol’ thing.”

Without truly seeing, there is no exchange, no relationship. There is just emptiness for lack of meaning in our lives.
Emptiness is healthy when it is about the mind. Emptiness is pitiful when it is about the heart.

Dependencies are the chains to be free of by emptying our minds. This is the point where “true” Spirituality could begin.