Tantra is not for the masses. A “tantrica” is not born by taking on-line “master classes.” Tantra is not about “better sex” either. Nor a “system” or “philosophy” to expand consciousness. There is this belief on being “liberated” from conditioning, by speaking freely about sexuality in a society that views sex as a taboo.
Tantra “Goddesses” will appear selling different “services.” They become “Tantra teachers” after attending a few classes and paying their fees to be “certified.” There is no much there to show their level of consciousness, but it is thought, that their sexual prowess is the proof of their “mastery.”
We don’t hear too much about “gods” of “tantra.”
It is a steep job description: A man that can have sex as many times as he wishes and ejaculate only when he wants, without using “technology,” “pills”or any “techniques.” That is a “natural.”
Due to that level of “mastery,” we do not hear too much from them. If they sell “techniques,” rest assured they aren’t “naturals.”
The above is pretty much the collective belief about Tantra.
However, for the ones who are ready in consciousness; Tantra is a whole different thing. When a true Tantric couple is united by destiny, Sex has a different meaning: It is the way to discover Love by going beyond the limits of self.
According to my reliable “sources” there was in history an example of such a tantric couple. They are well known, although; the term “Tantra,” probably wasn’t known by them.
Would you like to know who they were? They were well known for their divinity:
Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
It makes perfect sense. Consciousness brings the “Tantra” experience.
I am sharing this knowing that some may be revolted by this “heresy” that goes against established beliefs.
But for those who are open to “do their homework,” this may be “good news.”
Tantra IS in that sort of “divine” consciousness.
When we ARE NOT there, then “techniques,” “methods,” “practices,” “rituals,” etc . are taught. The focus is only sex. Although, pleasure maybe enhanced, there is no “open door” in their consciousness to go beyond self.
A man cannot fully surrender to the sexual experience or Life itself, if he was made a “master” through the use of “techniques.”
Just like “Yoga” is not what is practiced in the gym near you; Tantra is not a new fashionable method to have sex and “improve” consciousness… However, there are individuals claiming benefits from those “practices,” thus, everything is good.
Everyone aligns to a particular thing according to their consciousness. Thus, many times what we think “IS,” it may not be. It is in that experience of recognizing change, and not denying it or defending old beliefs; how change happens, how consciousness “expands.” 🙂
To take a glass of wine or beer once in a while, is not a problem. Someone in that experience will not need to know “Dry January.” Those who are lost in alcohol, will surely experience what “Dry January” is. An extreme brings another.
Same principle applies with sexuality and celibacy.
For most individuals, sex has 2 main functions: Reproduction and fun\pleasure. There are more functions in sexuality, only known/experienced by few.
Most men are unaware that their vitality is embodied in their semen. The importance of this vital energy will be seen as the individual ages.
Most individuals are incapable of regulating their excitement and need to ejaculate. Due to the “macho”/”stud” conditioning, many men are depleted of their sexual energy, then; when they reach their 40-50- 60s they lack vitality.
What was the solution for this problem?
Nowadays, it is a “blue pill” which will take the person into further depletion or in other terms: it will submerge the person into greater vitality debt.
Before the “blue pill,” there was the natural means: Celibacy.
It was thought that by “not doing it,” a person will lose interest. Religions tried to sublimate the sexual urge by “purifying” a relationship through love of God or condemning sexuality and the “pleasures of the flesh.”
However, there cannot be celibacy when the individual is repressing and denying his own sexuality.
Celibacy is not repression. However, celibacy could be used as medicine to restore the vitality of an individual. When an individual is running in deficit, celibacy is not a repression, but a needed “practice.”
Some individuals believe that celibacy is only to abstain from sexual relationship with another; however, it is as well to abstain sex with yourself.
Nevertheless, the important factor is for the man to maintain its semen as much as possible, and not to abstain from human touch, feelings and pleasure.
It is easier to maintain a “black or white” posture: No sex, no touch, no pleasure and to disseminate the message that this “practice” is “spiritual.” However, most; at least 99% of individuals will repress to comply with this “spirituality.”
Since the above may be too restrictive; sex, touch and pleasure were allowed by some religious/ spiritual systems; but not ejaculation at all.
What was the outcome? Utter pressure. Sex was no longer enjoyable as someone has to “watch” for the moment of “no return.” Then guilt sets in, for that “failure” and the consequences of it.
The “reality” of human sexuality is that we cannot put all human beings in the same basket. We are all different and those differences will change in time: A 60-year-old is very different than a 20-year-old. A society will teach them to comply with some belief or some moral ideal, but the teaching does not cover to be AWARE of ourselves.
If a human was AWARE of himself, he will know to walk the “middle way” and to put himself in that path as Life turns into different streets. That “middle way” is never the same; nevertheless; it is the natural way. Most are prey of social/peer pressure, collective beliefs and nonsensical traditions which endanger their own well-being. That is the path of extremes.
Celibacy is as good and necessary as Sex is. They can complement each other. It all depends in timing, setting and circumstances. The keyword is “Balance.” To “practice celibacy” means for a limited time. Typically, we don’t “practice” sex. Naturally, we ARE sexual beings, but according to who WE ARE, we could manifest love and care through sex, OR lust and violence.
When celibacy is natural, it is no longer celibacy. Anything “practiced” with repression, will NEVER be natural.
Semen is Life. Through that we give Life to another. Your Life, your vitality depends on keeping that energy.
How many times a month shall I ejaculate?
You are missing the point. Discover what works for you. Be sensible, aware of what your body tells you. Change when there is a need. Forget about the “scientific research,” of what should be “normal.” Feel the balance. What is natural does not rely on numbers and formulas.
Sex and celibacy are the complete human sexual experience. They are ONE.
The way you deal with sexual energy, will show your spiritual evolution.
Sexual energy is a fantastic source of vitality, relaxation and enjoyment. The full body (and ethereal bodies) is rejuvenated through it. However, that is not the experience of many.
For many, it is an itch which is meant to go away through an orgasm. This type of perception will deplete the vitality of a human being.
Through that realization, Tantra as a “technique” was taught to people. It was about avoiding ejaculation/orgasms for the sake of extending it. It was about being conscious of breathing and different techniques, methods to delay orgasms.
I recall reading some techniques from some “spiritual” people:
“Don’t ejaculate no matter what.” That is a “black or white” vision.
The joy of forgetting yourself cannot be there, for it becomes another source of pressure, another “objective” to accomplish in one of the few moments when the “I” could go away.
Tantra happens when a person has reached a certain degree of spiritual evolution. As long as the mind and emotional traumas are standing in the psyche of an individual, their nadis and chakras will not work properly. As a consequence, that will bring a variety of sexual experiences: From frustration to addiction.
Sexuality is a consequence of the evolution of a person. Sexual energy will bring nourishment when properly channeled.
As you ARE so is what you DO. Thus, the ACTION by itself whether it is to have sex or to repair a car is colored by who you ARE. What you ARE, is basically the addition of all mental constraints, emotional traumas, taboos, hang ups, beliefs which are not allowing someone to be open to the experience of enjoyment.
All of those “constraints” are shaping up the “I.”
That is why, as the “I” goes away, so the obstructions in our nadis and chakras, which will be open to experience what we ARE… bliss, fulfillment, creativity, vitality.
In Sexuality like in any other type of experience, there is a range. In every lifetime, we will experience certain degrees of that range, from none to full. That is why, wherever you ARE, that is OK. It is part of your evolution. As there is openness, then we could move to a different position in the range of experiences.
If we understand the above, there is no way that we could label sex and sexual energy as “bad or good.” However, those who feel comfortable labeling sexuality as good or bad, are exactly where they need to be.
That is the wonder of Life. See the differences, embrace the differences, make those differences one with you…so there are no longer differences.
Then you are ONE with what is. That is integration with Life.