Tagged: empathy

Question about the mind, acceptance and trust

“… only if it was that easy to wait/observe and not act when your Mind is racing @ lightening speed… Isn’t observing and waiting for a change not a thought in itself?
What lesson is life teaching if someone does not even have basic necessities to survive, abused physically/mentally? – will be hard to develop acceptance and trust.
Love to see your response.”

If your shoelaces come undone, it is because it was done.

Thank you for your question for the common good.
If you make a knot while tying your shoelaces, sooner or later that knot will need to be dealt with. That is Life. There is a process to get there and a process to get out.
Who is the observer?
If it is the “I,” that is not an observer. That is a doer. That “I” is the one trying to figure things out through methods, beliefs and pressure from others, how to untie the knot.
There is an “I” and there is “no-I.”
The “I” is the one known by most. Who is waiting? The “I.” The “I” is observing from a self centered personality while separated from everything else.

“MY mind is racing at lightening speed. What is the method to stop it? Perhaps “I” should “observe it” and “wait” to see if that method works for ME… Hey, I just came up with a thought… It is “my” thought even though “I” did not willingly think about it…This change should be “natural,” I wonder why is not “natural” to Me yet?”

The above is one interpretation of what Ahnanda is trying to explain, but it is far from what Ahnanda means.

If we are only using our minds to make intellectual sense of this, we are wasting our time.
That is not “bad” at all, for it is part of our process. So even that misunderstanding is completely “good.”

How could I express “no-self” through English words structured to use “I,” “you,” “him,” “her” at every corner?
Your mind wants an answer to “resolve the problem” of experiencing the “misery” of “racing thoughts.” Right?
Ahnanda says: Open your heart, your feelings…
“But how?”
All I can share is my experience which is not a “method.” Go to Nature. Not once in awhile, but BE there for you are THAT. “There” your feelings will open up, your heart will breathe and your mind will calm itself “naturally.”
“OK. I will try that. I will spend a year in the wild…”
No my friend. If you are just going there because “you” want to achieve something, you may achieve many things in that experience, but not the “goal” of calming your mind.

If in your process you do not feel the need to be in Nature, if you force yourself to do it, just to achieve something like “peace of mind,” you will be sorely disappointed… but that is not “bad” either. It is part of your process. All is “good.”

The “I” wants to achieve. “No-I,” cannot exist there.

However, if there is a natural need in you to spend your time outdoors as much as possible, to observe Nature not because you want to achieve something for yourself, but just for the heck of it, just because you have infinite love for Nature… then, according to your process, you are naturally ready to experience what is like for the mind to slow down.
Do you see the process? It needs to be natural, it cannot be forced.
“But I want to achieve no-mind NOW!”
Can you force an unripe fruit to be ripe “now” just because you decided to “make effort” to be ripe, because you have the “goal” of going to “heaven” or another “objective” such as peace, happiness, joy, etc.? 🙂

Now, into your second question:
“What lesson is life teaching if some one does not even have basic necessities to survive, abused physically/mentally? – will be hard to develop acceptance and trust.”

Life lessons… are only lessons for the one who is aware. For the one who is not, their position in Life could be of suffering.
Is suffering “bad”? Any other way to dismantle the “ego” “naturally”?

Two things to keep “in mind”:
1. Our perception of someone’s suffering could be enhanced if we compare with them. “Look I can go to the toilet everyday… but those poor things do not even have toilet paper.”
I have seen those “poor things” smiling from the heart in their day-to-day life. That gift stopped, once they started comparing with “others.” This is not meant to say that social inequalities are OK. This is meant to say that our perception could be tinted with greater suffering than what is actually experienced by the one going through the experience in Life.

2. If you are going through some experience in Life, you are equipped to go through it. If “you” tied up your shoes, “you” must experience the process of untying them. The process is not the same for everyone.
Acceptance and Trust is needed for the one who has gone through the extreme of experiences of rejection and distrust. When your life is colored with distrust and rejection, then the process will shift, to arrive into trust and acceptance. The “I” will fight to keep things safe for “him” despite the imminent change. Trust is not something for the “I” to “develop,” it happens if the “I” allows it. If the “I” does not, there will be further suffering. See the game? 🙂

Someone who in your perspective has been abused mentally, physically and is living without the basics, may not necessarily experience distrust and rejection towards Life. Again, it depends on the process that this person is experiencing in Life, his “location.”
That “terrible” experience for you, may not be the drop that spills the water from the glass, for that person.
That is why, to feel for someone has a much greater accuracy than to think or analyze their “situation.”
Empathy is a feeling which will naturally tell you “how to act” without thinking about it. How someone became the personification of empathy in Life?
By having experienced its opposite… naturally…That process is not necessarily of a single Life time.
If you don’t have empathy naturally, then a method will be needed to make you believe that you “have it.” 🙂
All the best!

Helping “others.”

helpothers

“To help,” without thinking about it but just as a natural feeling to reach out to everything and everyone is conductive to the common good. “To help” as a duty, to follow some religious practice or to do it with the intention of feeling “good,” is another ego booster.

Knowing “spiritual things” could be a source of ego, especially when the aim is to give free advice to someone. There is the expectation that these “words of wisdom” must be followed.
To talk is very easy, but not so to listen. To give advice to others about what they should do, is truly easy…and rewarding to our own ego.

Ananda was sharing with Mathias, the wise tree; about a problem that his younger friend, Carl was experiencing.

Ananda: Carl believes that some people are out there to hurt him. He is afraid of a particular group; but I see no reason for his worries.
I know that nowadays many people experience issues with their minds. Many are medicated because of that.
I told Carl what he needs to do, but he doesn’t listen.

Mathias: That expectation of him to listen to you is hurting your own ego, my friend.

Ananda: Yes, but what can I do to help him?
Mathias: If that episode was happening inside you, what would you do?
Ananda: I think that thanks to this “spiritual knowledge” that I have, I could manage this problem.

Mathias: How? If your mind leaves you and you only see people trying to attack you.. How would you manage that?

Ananda: I would look for help if I had this realization of feeling continually attacked.

Mathias: If your mind leaves you and your mind makes you see things that do not exist, what type of help would you look for?

Ananda: Then, I couldn’t do anything but to suffer…

Mathias: You will only suffer? Mathias feels that you are not being completely honest…

Ananda: Well, what else? I have Mathias or Raysha. I have confidence in both of you… and I could look for you.

Mathias: Ok. That means that it is important for someone who is in that state to feel that he has someone to go to…

Ananda: That is right…
Mathias: That is the first point. Second point: Professional support. In this way, Mathias answers your question: When something is happening to someone and that person comes to you, then only ask yourself; What would I do if that was happening to me?

For everything that happens around us, is happening inside us as well. When you are honest with yourself you are helping that which is happening around you, even though you cannot see it. We are all interconnected, my friend… There is no part which does not have a connection with the totality.

Ananda: I see. When I feel that it happens to me then my action will help the other as well. Then the task is to be that person that Carl feels that he can confide.

Mathias:… with honesty.

Feeling is always before talking. Any “spiritual wisdom” could be meaningless to another if we have not felt the need of another. That necessary empathy is mentioned in the saying: “Wearing someone else’s shoes.”

Wisdom is not just to give… but to give what is needed, according to time.

The sinful sin

sin-apple

Not complying with Godly law, has been known as “sin” throughout history.
The issue is that a “sin” 300 years ago is not a “sin” today or vice versa. Different God or Different law.

A known God yesterday is not the same one today.
Everything changes.

Ananda recalls the times when he was doing his mischievous activities as a 10-year-old kid and then his father’s voice was heard with something concise and to the point like: “God will punish you.” 😦

That was enough to send the chills of fear throughout Ananda’s spine. Then, Ananda went to confession and thanks to the power of reciting some prayers to the saintly images… magically, everything was absolved.

As the years went by, Ananda learned another concept, called the “law of karma.” In this concept, there was no need for a God punishing left and right for sinful activities, but it was an automatic boomerang. Everyone knew that “what goes around comes around.” Punishment then became less of a personal matter. 🙂

So what happened with God as a provider of “justice for all” through punishment?

We don’t know. But somehow, the idea still remained in Ananda’s later years in life.

Anada asked the following questions to his “magic mirror:”
How can I perform a “sin” if I know better? Don’t I know about Godly scriptures and “words of God”?
Then the issue becomes in finding which scripture is the “true” version of God…a matter of belief.

How is it possible for some people to understand things in one way while others have a different understanding?
How is it possible for some people to have a Godly experience which is not the same for others?
Is it possible for God to choose some and not others to understand and recognize Him?

Ananda was confused.

“You shall not kill.” It is a well-known Godly commandment. What is the extent of it? Some say God really means not to kill animals as well as human beings. Others say that it is only referred to human beings for animals have been created “for” human beings. Is it possible for people to see suffering in animals as well as human beings and do nothing about it? Is it OK for animals to suffer and die so we could satisfy our taste buds? If “my country” sent me to war, is then OK to kill?
Was that part of God’s instructions/commandment? or perhaps a reformed, up-to-date version of it? Or what about defending my religion in the name of God? Is killing only at the physical level or we could kill someone when that person is mistreated to the point of losing her mind?

What about experimenting with human beings? Through the wonders of a new genetically modified item or something else to “study” the antibodies reaction in humans in the next 5 years… I wonder if the law of God had room for all those little “loopholes.” 🙂

There are some individuals who need to be told what to do. Specifically, to the point.
These individuals need to follow a piece of paper, someone’s advice because they are unable to feel, to sense, to observe.

There is no empathy. There is no life in their lives. It is all about procuring pleasure, power and accumulating possessions. The 3 deadly “Ps.” 🙂

Certainly for these kind of individuals, the “law of God” needs to be very specific until their lives are controlled to the point of not knowing if taking a bath is OK or sinful for they could be worry about seeing their naked body…

When empathy, concern, mercy, compassion and all of those words are practical in our lives, then there will be “law” in our lives, at that point the “law of God” will be immersed in our veins, circulating throughout our internal system and pumping our heart with that blood which is needed to give a blood transfusion to this world, so we can resuscitate our feelings again.

It is a matter of a healthy, spiritual heart.