Every end is a beginning.
When we learn to take the messages that Life may bring, we could move in tune with “what is.”
Those messages may not be according to our religion, our morality or some other static human created code, but it is exactly what is needed according to time.
What is important is to understand the transition between ending and beginning. It is not immediate, it requires to perceive the dance and to go along with the song.
Today I will share about the importance of knowing our minds.
When we become trapped by our minds, we live in seclusion, in an artificial environment of perceived security.
The mind is able to fantasize and to take us into a world of wishes.
For example, we may meet someone who we believe fulfills all of our fantasies. It is the “perfect” partner.
That label of “perfect” will be there as long as we don’t know the person.
Many times, we could meet someone for many years without even knowing who they are. We may know only the surface, which is a great way to keep the fantasy going.
This fantasy could increase if the person that we admire is unreachable, unaccessible.
Let me be more specific: Have you ever fallen in love with wonder woman or with a rock star?
That is what I am referring to. That could also happen in the life of a grown up.
The fantasy falls apart once we meet the person “live” and get to know the person.
“Her kiss was not as wonderful as the dreams I had…” to paraphrase Sara Teasdale.
The human mind is an incredible creator of fantasies.
Those fantasies are constantly fed by our beliefs.
Therefore, they become “real.”
Things may happen and we could experience them, but when we have in our mind a belief about a particular person, then that person is given charge of our experience.
Isn’t to realize this a wonderful gift that we have to learn from “others”? It may be a costly experience, but it is worth to pay the price to feel freedom in the mind.
With a thankful heart and appreciation of the learned lesson; the Life walker moves on, into the next adventure… 🙂
“Let me share my today’s experience. I felt good for an event for which I should not feel good. I heard about a girl who Is going through rough patches in her married life. Around 2-3 years back there were talks about our marriage among our relatives but that did not happen. I was quite neutral about this outcome.
Now my question:
How to avoid this jealous feeling when I trying to experience the moment I m just feeling happy. I don’t mean that I want to feel sorry for her, but still it can’t be happiness because of her misery.
how to put strict ban on daydreaming. I am not able to do that cos it gives me pleasure.
Thanks in advance.”
Thank you for your question for the common good.
Happiness is a label. The feeling of happiness is not a label.
When we are referring to the label, there is an opposite: Suffering. That is duality.
When we live in the moment, happiness as a feeling “is” when “we” are not there. There is no duality. If “we are” there duality will be there as well.
Please read the above paragraph many times until it makes sense.
When “we are” there then the whole web of relationships based on “I” will come up such as: My wife, my pet, my country, etc.
There is an experience that someone is experiencing. Why that experience has to be “yours”?
It will be “yours” if there is an “I” in between. Add the “social conventions” that we have learned (feel bad or good in certain situations) and then you have a good motive to strengthen the livelihood of your ego.
Feel empathy if you would, but happiness is not dependent on external situations.
If the above does not make any sense, there is no problem. If you would like a method to understand the above, stop looking for there is none.
It just happens when you are ready.
Observation is needed to become ready.
The “I felt good for something that I shouldn’t” is unnecessary. Observe that “you” felt good when someone you knew was not doing well. That is all.
Now, do not put a label such as: “I am bad” or an emotion such as “I feel guilty.”
That stuff will take you away from observing what is.
You already found the emotion behind it: Jealousy.
That means that your self-worth was increased in your mind when the girl who apparently was going to be your wife in an arranged marriage, had a rough time in her marriage with another.
Perhaps you think that you are neutral about this, but deep inside, you have some lingering emotions.
If you are single and have nobody with you yet, the thought of being “Mr. right” for her or for someone will bring many fantasies. It just happens to be her the focus of your fantasy.
That is something that you will need to find out by observing your own situation.
If you are in a relationship with someone, perhaps it is not that deep for you and the emotional outlet is there with the thought of her.
That is all.
Observation without judgments is very important to understand the issue.
That understanding will bring your own liberation from daydreaming, nevertheless; because you enjoy the movie in your head, it still will happen unless you become aware of the moment that it is occurring.
It is in the awareness right in the moment, when it is happening how you could decide to go on with the fantasy or choose to play “Nintendo” instead. 🙂
Without that instant awareness the fantasy will go on.
Note that daydreaming brings an emotional rush, which has the potential to bring you “up” or “down.”
In a way, you are having a “relationship” with her although it is all in your mind, the emotions that you feel are real and that is what brings the need to repeat the experience, which you call “pleasurable.”
With those emotions, you may feel alive.
Our minds could create a world for ourselves, a world to suit our emotional needs when these are not fulfilled in the “real world.” However, a relationship with someone comes down to sharing things:
Washing the dishes together, paying the bills, taking the garbage out, doing something for each other, having fun together, growing together etc.
If that is not happening, then it is all in your mind and if you are aware of it, then the fantasy will stop as when we wake up from a dream.
The time comes when our belief that there is only an answer, a right answer for everything, will be challenged by reality itself.
It is “either this or that,” is one of the greatest beliefs which is limiting our perception of many avenues and many paths.
Anyone wants examples to clarify? 🙂
Is free will true, or it is predestination?
It is both and neither. It is both, for both exist according to our consciousness. It is neither because they are just ideas.
Are we mortal or immortal?
It is both and neither. We will die, but we are eternal as well. We are neither mortal nor immortal. We are both. Those are not ideas for there is an experience of that. Consciousness.
Does heaven exist?
It does and it doesn’t. It only exists when we are not in it. Once we are in it, it does not exist. Heaven exists only out of comparison, out of duality.
There is soul consciousness and body consciousness. Are we the soul or are we the body? Both and none. In duality we think of a separation. Without duality, there is nothing to be separated. There is a wholesome unity.
Soul consciousness is a label to denote absence of duality in our awareness: man and woman, life and death, heaven and hell, good and bad, etc.
If we could imagine a consciousness beyond duality, we could look for the origin of that duality: Our minds.
Thinking is separation. Analysis will not allow us to know. When the object separates from the subject, there is just description. A description is not the same as knowing.
That is why, to know is not related with thinking. Knowing is a very distinct faculty beyond thinking.
Logic is just the game of words, which exalts thinking.
If we look at the beauty of the waters of a river at dawn, we will perceive how nighttime changes into day light. Morning time does not exist. Afternoon does not exist. Night does not exist.
It is just continuity. It is unity perceived as three different stages, separated in an artificial way to allow for language to describe phases when there is none….but there is. 🙂
A thinking mind will see separation only. 11 PM does not exist but only in a thinking mind. Nevertheless, we call 11 PM “late.” That label creates an idea. When we believe in that idea we create a world of our own. When this world is made out of collective conventions, we live in our own “fantasy world.”
The irony is that we call that fantasy, reality. We call that life.
Mathias: How much time have you existed, Ananda?
Ananda: I am eternal.
Mathias: I have not asked that. I have asked, how much time have you existed?
Ananda: 27 years. I was born 27 years ago.
Mathias: and before that?
Ananda: I think that I have lived before. But there is no proof. I do not remember.
Mathias: Aren’t you eternal then? How long have you existed?
Ananda: My belief says that 5000 years. That is my belief.
Mathias: Mathias has not asked you about your belief. Mathias have asked you about how much time have you existed.
Ananda was in silence. Ananda wasn’t able to respond to Mathias because Ananda was caught up in reasoning, logic and duality.
Ananda couldn’t see that Ananda has lived as long as time has existed. No beliefs in that.