Tagged: feelings

Controlling your thoughts

There is a significant amount of information dealing on how to control thoughts, negative thoughts, destructive thoughts, etc. It is conspicuous, that most individuals are dealing in one way or another with mental issues.
There was one talk I heard on “Youtube” promising to stop negative thoughts by using a simple “technique,” a “method of self-inquiry” easy to remember.

These talks or books on controlling the mind have “methods,” “techniques,” which are mind constructs. In simple words: Stop your mind by using your mind. It is the battle of dividing the mind into two sides, the “good” controlling mind over the “bad” misbehaving one. Is that fictitious division possible? Only in our minds.

Perhaps many individuals are interested in “easy methods” to stop even for a little while their abusive minds. Yes, we can force ourselves to “remember” something such as a mantra, a phrase, even “God,” and experience that our rush of thoughts, have diminished or stopped. However, such person still has mental issues, those are still unchanged. The mind represented by the “I” is being forced to comply to what it has established itself to be “good,” desirable.

I find the same “methodology,” when men are looking to “improve” their sex performance (last longer.) They may find information in the Taoist tradition or in Tantra; but many are not interested in exploring the extent of those traditions; they just want the “method,” the “technique” for sex right away. That is another characteristic of an ill mind: Forget the process and cut to the bone, for “I” want results now; whereas Life works through gradual natural changes.

Nevertheless, the “I” has found a problem and wants the “solution” now. This practice of forcing an outcome in ourselves without looking at the big picture, is detrimental to our well being.
What is the “big picture”? The mind and sexuality are not isolated manifestations in a human being, there is interrelation. Those changes happen according to the level of consciousness of an individual, what he IS. Those are mere consequences of BEING something thanks to psychological traumas, repressions and violence as such; any self-study, any self-observation and acknowledgement of the whole human experience will bring change.

Otherwise; individuals may find a temporary solution but that is a bandage in a deep wound. Can a disturbed mind find a solution by using that same mind? No.
How not to use the mind then? That question may change our approach. Let us meet Awareness. There is not much that I can say about it, or to define it, but we could try a brief description.

When we become conscious on how our mind moves, what triggers it and how the mind relates with emotions and feelings. Those are “steps” in awareness.

Most do not want to bother with this self-study, but rather want for someone to give them the “answer,” the “technique,” the “method” and follow it, hoping to “solve” the particular issue. At least, that is the theory.

The mind is not an object to be defined. There is nothing concrete about the mind other than the fact that we experience it on a daily basis. I could read a self-help book on how someone dealt with his ill mind, but there are many blanks in that explanation that we will need to discover ourselves. Self-awareness, observation are the main “tools” for that. There are no shortcuts when dealing with our inner world.

If we are not aware, we will totally identify with the contents of the mind, going from “my” mind to finally completely identifying with it, and saying: “I.” It is that small step in identification, the one offering more problems to us.

In my own experience, the best setting to start our own mind observation is Nature. We may need the supporting environment and sensory upliftment brought by Nature. Outside the world of “progress and madness,” we could take our minds away from its dull, repetitive environment and that newness will allow us to sense better what is going on.

Emotions are expressed in our bodies but the mind triggers the recognition; thus emotions are strongly related with the mind. However, feelings are pretty distinct. Take the feeling of joy or peace. Those are states of BEING which are not necessarily related with the mind.

It is in the experience of feelings how the mind could be recognized and left aside.
I discovered benefit in listening to music without lyrics, instrumental music.
That will bring feelings. The mind has no opportunity to enter in the appreciation of music unless we compare, or if we try to explain or describe the sounds through words. Lyrics in music will bring words and consequently, the mind.

Most are so disconnected with actual feeling, believing that they are feeling when in fact it is the mind processing words and describing a feeling to itself to make us believe that we feel. The well known phrase: “I THINK I love you,” speaks for itself. How is love related with thinking? Can the mind ever know what love, a feeling is?

Reasoning kills our feelings. Thus, the mind kills our feelings. Without being able to feel; there is no opportunity to go beyond the mind.

The “proof” of feeling

A human being is surrounded by fields of distinct “energies.” I wish there was another word to describe the subtle which is in constant movement, whose influence is always there even though few can perceive them. “Energy” has a physical connotation. “The capacity to do work” it is said; but that has nothing to do with the subtle fields. Thus, I would use the word “subtle energy” to refer to this.
Why is this subtle? Because it is imperceptible for many.

“Spirituality” received its “way out there” stereotype when referring about things which couldn’t be proven to exist. Economics are proven to exist even though artificially created, but subtle energies cannot be proven for not everyone is capable to tune into them.

Why is there some who could perceive subtle energies and others cannot?
That is a matter of sensibility. In some countries, megaphones are used to sell fruits, vegetables an widgets; although, there is a law prohibiting annoying noises, the law is seldom enforced for the majority of individuals out of “convenience” (laziness,) would prefer to buy from these people as they drive by their homes. These “buyers” are used to great noise. It doesn’t bother them. Nevertheless, their sensibility to more sophisticated and educated ways to hear, will suffer. The same example holds true with the perception of subtle energies.

If we take care of our mental, physical and emotional health; then our odds to FEEL subtle energies will increase. The recipe of “wholesome health” has been provided by many systems, religions and philosophies; however, our society does not support “wholesome” but the opposite through unhealthy practices in the name of “improving the economy,” which I will not discuss here but I am sure, many are aware of.

Few individuals will gain sensibility.

Those with the ability to FEEL, are better equipped to understand how these subtle energies influence the behavior of human beings.

FEELING is a subjective “proof” until the collective consciousness agrees. We could feel emotions, feelings, subtle energies, which will give us a different picture and explanation than the one offered by reason and logic alone based on the perception of the “normal” senses.

Consider this: Life is on the side of FEELINGS. Our society values reason and logic alone. The outcome of FEELING Life is fulfillment. The outcome of reason and logic alone is to “be right.”
There is a huge difference. To “be right” doesn’t give fulfillment, ego perhaps and fear but we don’t feel lively, at peace which is what FEELING does.

Love, harmony, peace are felt not reasoned or thought out. There is no thinking involved. Do we see the issue? Reasoning kills our feelings. Our society mostly lives in the head. Thinking, reasoning, analysis, logic, etc. all of that is highly valued, but we cannot FEEL.

Have we ever seen someone playing a musical instrument by memory? (funny, we say by “heart”) That person knows the structure, the notes, the timing; but there is no music in what he plays. Unless, he puts his FEELING there.

What do we value in Life? The economy, the market, the six figures job, income…. All mind. Nothing wrong with that; but we cannot be fulfilled in Life because the mind knows no satisfaction. It is always looking for what is next, in the future or remembering the past. The mind cannot be in the “now.” The mind sings “I can’t get no (satisfaction).”

Life is balance and the new challenge in society is to put the mind in its “right” place which is behind FEELINGS, that is if we are interested in encouraging a wholesome human being who experiences love, peace and harmony. That human will be able to FEEL what most cannot at this time. On the other hand, a highly effective human taught to add and subtract like a computer and to calculate his movements as to avoid making “mistakes,” will not know what is like to FEEL fulfillment in his Life.

By feeling the outer subtle energies we could perceive how these will affect others and the self. By feeling the inner world we could know our intentions.
Why is that important?
I will be succinct. The “choice” is fear or fulfillment. Put your mind in the accumulation of things, add “gifts” to your personality to become “better” than others, to “succeed” in Life; fear of losing those things is unavoidable. The mind believes in “improving,” but that improvement is only accumulation. It is building the outer layers of the self. Here is the catch. Spiritual “improvement” does not come out of accumulation but in diminishing the outer layers to go into the root of the onion. Thus, when we go over the fear of losing, we gain.
How can we go over fear of losing unless we experience what is like to lose?
That requires a logical, reasonable answer from the mind. 🙂

The shortcomings of Logic

Our society praises logic and reason as a way to gather objective “reality.” Logic becomes the tool to discover if something is “right” or “true.”
Humans have created a society with structure, where something logical could be enforced.
That is right, logic is another ideal of our society. Life is not logical at all. Have we experienced that?

The ways that we try to understand Life are typically the ones taught to us, passed to us by the educational system. It is almost as if we have built our own little world of ideas, supported by dualistic language which do not have the ability to describe the amplitude of Life, but only to make partial, inaccurate references.

What is the logic behind a “good man” experiencing a terrible death?
A “good man” according to who? What do you mean by a “terrible death”?
What is the logic of hunger in the world? Aren’t humans working together to help each other? How long would it take?

Life is not logical. In our society, we have made it to appear as logical. That reminds me about the “logical song” by Supertramp. The ability to feel without the interruptions of the mind is the trademark of a child. A “reasonable” man has so many things to THINK about. The joy of life is taken away.

Logic, reason… Those mental tools have transformed the lives of so many “professionals.” They are efficient, they have degrees, they are comfortable, well off, but not fulfilled. Emotionally they may not be able to connect to another human being, although that one may be physically close; emotionally there is a huge distance.
Without emotional connection, there cannot be fulfillment.

Observe how Sexuality has been transformed into physical pleasure. Sex without emotional connectivity is in fashion. It is more efficient, less complicated. It is practical. Logical. The desire of not “getting involved” brings at the same time, a sense of missing something.
Life requires our complete involvement at every moment.

Logic and reason scrape the surface of “reality,” but yet most believe that “truth” is in them.
Life offers so many experiences which reason is unable to see.

It is not a matter of “choice.”

What is intuitive, observable, conditioning aside; is very hard to put in words. When I share something in this blog, is not a “teaching.”
Teachers charge for their “knowledge.” Their “knowledge” is second hand, acquired through someone, a system a religion, etc. They teach that, which is easy to assimilate by the masses.
Ahnanda is aware that whatever comes through him, is not “his.” Ahnanda did not make “effort” or “studied with the top masters” or has a library of “spiritual books” to get what he shares. It is not “my choice” to think “spiritual” things, make a plan for an article and write. It just happens.

When I express that opposites are truly inseparable. That gets misunderstood easily. Most will try to make sense with their heads rather than observing their experiences.
A reader wrote:  “…it is actually a very simple thing that the “Good” and “Bad”, “Right” and “Wrong”, “Higher” and “Lower”, both things exist together in one single system, they are inseparable. But this is making me think you know that if I don’t want the bad part, I will actually have to renounce wanting the good part as well…”

Observe the confusion. This is not a matter of “choice.” Someone will experience only what he needs to experience in Life, but the labels to describe the experiences become his world rather than the experience itself.
If I experience “cold” it is because I know what “hot” is. If I say “I don’t want to experience hot, thus I need to renounce cold, for both go together in a system.” That is experientially senseless, although intellectually it may make sense.

Let me clarify: Pain and Pleasure are polarities of the same experience. It is the same experience in movement, that is why one side will bring the other.

Life is not an intellectual game. The problem with lack of fulfillment in life that most humans experience; is that their whole life is in the head, the mind.

Hurricane “Irma” IS. There is the assumption that it could hit Florida – USA in a couple of days. Observe how futile is the human drive for certainty: In Nature, there is no “extrapolation of past events to forecast the future.” Observe how the news and some business are thriving unexpectedly out of this incident. The hype is there. The talk that “ Irma could go this way or that way” bring lots of “experts.” The population grows with fear: “What to do? Do I leave and go someplace “safe” or do I stay?” That is the gamble.
People don’t want to make a mistake and spend money unnecessarily. They live in their heads. Their “choice” is giving them a headache. They want to be “right.”

That is the world of the mind, the head. All the information disseminated through the media only increases panic, in the name of safety.

Listen to your gut feeling and go with it. You will be at peace. Just make sure it is your gut feeling and not your mind.
End of report.
“But… but.. what about if I am “wrong”?”
A gut feeling doesn’t work that way. Have we noticed that?
In Life there is no such a thing as being “right or wrong.” That is a human invention that only works in the “office world.” When we deal with Nature, with the forces of Life itself, those mental standards are worth absolutely nothing.
Life is about experiences. Some will experience a hurricane, others will not. There is no right or wrong. Is a hurricane good or bad? 🙂 It just IS. If it IS, it has a “reason” to BE.
If we label a hurricane as “bad,” then we will have a “bad” experience and the “good” experience of not having a hurricane, may have yet another type of “bad” experience. We are caught up with senseless labels.

Nature is unpredictable, just like Life, just like a gut feeling.
Life and death go together. They are not separate.
A “choice” is not a choice, when there is togetherness.

The belief on “Spiritual Teachings.”

Any spiritual teaching presents a vision to understand Life, the world. That vision is like a map. It brings security to the follower to mitigate his uncertainty; although that vision is limiting.

Why is it limiting?
A map is not the real thing. If I need to explain this further, see Life as driving in a highway. We enter into the highway and the “decision” will have to be made right there. There is no time for questions. No time to review the map. Speed up? Slow down? Use your signal? Change lanes? Slow down to speed up? There are so many variants. Are you looking for the “right one”? Was that ever written some place in a holy book?

The “spiritual teaching” maybe something like: “Be careful while driving in the highway.” Fear is introduced.
Let me ask; is there any meaning to that “be careful”?
Perhaps be AWARE is a far better “teaching,” however; it is another pretty word to say to look “good,” concerned…
AWARENESS cannot be taught. You ARE or you may not be AWARE.

It is through AWARENESS how we could realize things about ourselves and through that “teaching” our BEING will behave (DO) in the world. That knowing is experiential and valuable. It is not second hand.

AWARENESS is some sort of sensibility. It comes when we are conscious of ourselves (feelings, thoughts, emotions) alone and in relationship. The word describing our “teacher” in Life is OBSERVATION.
The capacity to observe will bring sensibility and that in turn will bring awareness, consciousness.

We are conditioned to judge, to follow what is believed to be “right,” which is some script that we have learned from someone. We call that discernment. A pretty word to hide conditioning.

When you know the features in your car, you can use them to ADAPT to the environment, what is happening, the “now.”

Observe the person you are talking with. Can you FEEL his intention, his vibe?
Did he shake your hand? Yes?? He was following the map. You “thought” he was a good fellow, well educated, well-conditioned.

Let me briefly explore mainstream “Tantra” teachings: A certified sex guru is needed. Someone to tell us what to DO.
Step #1: Breathe slowly. Step #2: Move slowly. Step #3: Last as long as you can…
That is the software to “practice.” The teaching to follow to be “successful.”

If we had OBSERVATION, we wouldn’t follow STEPS. We would BE those naturally.
OBSERVE our own rigidity. Our own pre-conceptions. Our need to be in control. Observe the need of our ego to perform to some standard. Observe our inability to feel pleasure and enjoy pleasure with the simplest things in Life: The feeling of water running through our naked body, a caress that spreads to our whole being… Observe how our capacity to enjoy has diminished to the point where relaxation is never felt, sensuality is not part of ourselves. Sexual pleasure is merely an “itch” to get rid of.

That sensibility to feel is gained in solitary aloneness. That is the needed space. Through that gained AWARENESS the “map” is no longer needed. Every moment is to BE in the highway of Life. Forget about the prescriptions, the methods, the technicalities. Our unpracticed, unlearned sensibility will take us places… Just relax, unwind. Let the last second “decisions” come without thinking about it.

“Spiritual teachings” are needed only because we live in the mind, so we cannot BE. Thus, we DO them, practice them, follow them, copy them.
Outside of the mind, there is a world of sensibility, which is unknown to most. How do we call that world?
Love.
Sensibility is her daughter. AWARENESS, her twin sister. 🙂 The height of human sexuality is in that “family. ” Spiritual teachings, will tell us to DO what is not meant to be DOne. 

 

Shifting from Action to Being

Our society is concerned with Actions. DOING defines who we are.
Observe the religious teachings, how what we know as “good” is determined by an action. Our society may need this arrangement for it brings stability to the system; nevertheless, the mind is creating what is “good,” when our feelings may be different.

The above has been the dissonance that societies have been maintaining: What I feel is not what I do; but what I do must be respectable, it should bring some advantages to “me,” except inner honesty. Therefore, let me be an actor. Let me “fake it.” 

The “Office World” is sold on DOING before BEING. Life does not work on those terms, for Being means to be one with Life.
This does not mean that the “Office World” is “bad” or “negative.” No!
It means that it has a different way to operate. Most label the “Office world” as Life, when it is only our own little, mind-created world; our escape from Nature, our “sand-box” to exercise control, free will, choice… the “I.”

In my view, David Carradine was an extraordinary actor. He starred the TV series, “Kung Fu.” That series is my old time favorite in “spiritual movies.”
Carradine honestly stated that his Life wasn’t like the character he was playing in “Kung Fu.” Although he was invited to talk about “spiritual” things by the public; many times he would agree to do that as when someone agrees to play Santa Claus even though he knows, Santa doesn’t exist. It is about the fans and their expectations, to agree with the power driven by the masses and  to keep a good PR.

Similarly, we are acting Life. We have the expectations, the rules and obligations which need to be fulfilled. The “objective” is to maintain those expectations unchanged throughout generations. Every time there is a systemic change due to obsolescence, there is a clash of expectations manifested through violence in society.

We may be slaves of the system, for our actions will define who we are under the scrutiny of someone else’s eyes. We can make “effort” to comply, but ultimately is the feeling, what we ARE, what will come out no matter how hard we try to put it aside, forget about it, bury it under some belief.
We may live miserable lives by struggling to be someone who we are not.

Carradine knew that he was an actor. He knew about the expectations of others as he was a source of imitation, but most humans labeling themselves “spiritual,” are only concerned in imitating what they consider to be “good, right, spiritual,” by DOING so, Life is no longer an enjoyable experience. For it is about cheap imitation.

“Keeping up with the Joneses” is certainly THE expectation. Who do you imitate? Who do you compete with? That is where the “cookie cutter” pressure starts, and that experience is carried over into the “spiritual realm,” into getting “heaven,” “God” etc.

Be aware that you are acting. The “Office world” calls for that. On the other hand, the journey of living Life has always been an individual experience. What you feel” now” is what you feel “now.” Acknowledge it. Tomorrow it will change. If it doesn’t, you are still acting. Living Life and “spirituality” are the same exact thing.

Life is unpredictable. Life is change. Life is uncertain. Life is a gift to be experienced and to let go… So ARE “you.”  That is to BE one with Life.

Awareness cannot be taught

Carmen is a new parent. She said to me: “No one is teaching me how to be a parent… this information should be pushed into the school system and beyond.”

Even though she has “good intentions” behind her statement; observe that she is already caught up with the system: The information on how to be a parent is pushed from another source, to be “right.”

Carmen was praising all the books that she read which “helped her” practically.
Carmen read a book about “a prosperous attitude towards money, so money could flow in life, by getting rid of different beliefs that she was inculcated when she was a kid,” However, my friend could not use that information into her parenting situation.
Why?

Carmen lacked Life experience. She has theory in her mind, a very good paragraph of “wisdom,” but she is unable to apply it in different aspects of her Life. 

Most human beings have  developed many traumas when children. Parents did the best they knew; but that wasn’t enough. Hang ups, taboos, beliefs and so on were transmitted from their parents. Therefore, that is what will be transmitted to their kids. It is unconscious. Why? Because we are not aware.

Many times a child will be rebellious towards his parents. He will not go along with their “ideas,” unfortunately; that child does not realize that to reject his parent’s ideas will only make that trauma stronger. There is no experience of that, no awareness.

Then the “traditional good idea” comes. “If I knew how to be a parent, I will help others to do the same.”
That is very shallow. This is not just information that we pass along like in the “office world” when we get ready to take a test to be a “certified” parent.

Your awareness is needed. If you are aware of the baggage inside you, you will start with you. Look at your issues. Then, your “true self” will be displayed for your kids; not the behavior which you learned in a book, which is not truly you. Just because you know information, it doesn’t mean that you ARE that.

I am not saying that we should wait until we solve our internal issues to become a parent either. This is not a “black or white” “solution.” Just be aware that as you ARE, you will be matched by Life with a partner and that is what is “right” for you. That experience will teach you something, and then your consciousness will move on until… you are able to see yourself as you ARE: Then the process of dissolution of ego starts.
“But how do I help others?”
By allowing them to go through their own process in Life. That is free of judgments.
Let me be clear: The thought of helping others or teaching others, is just self-gratification. Life puts the teacher when the student is ready; BUT neither the teacher nor the student know about those labels, so they are free from the cage that those labels imply. It is that freedom what makes the internal change.