What do you feel when a loved one dies?
What do you feel when you experience a broken heart?
What would you experience if you are told that you only have a month to live?
Most of us will perceive those experiences as a hardship, something that shouldn’t happen to us, but yet it does.
Psychologists have come up with stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Observe in yourself how grief transforms into anger and how that in turn will transform into sadness, depression and finally into acceptance.
Nevertheless, for most that final stage of acceptance is not “true” acceptance. It is more accurate to call it to be submissive.
The angry tiger becomes a docile kitty cat.
We could fight, struggle with anyone except with Life itself.
Observe how the experience of opposite emotions will be going through the experience of the “cycle” of grief: I could deny, just to accept. I could feel anger, just to be submissive. I could bargain with the higher powers to be, rationalizing the incident; just to be depressed.
Acceptance is not submissiveness.
Acceptance is openness to the experience.
When you are a “Life walker,” a seeker; you may find out that those 5 stages of grief are not accurate in your case.
There is one important stage, which will return a true smile in our faces.
That final stage is called GRATITUDE.
Gratitude is not say “Thank you” as many think. Gratitude means to be able to be fulfilled in yourself. Nothing is lacking. You are at ease and able to live with you.
“You” are Life itself, complete. Nevertheless, most “normal” people cannot experience that yet. For them gratitude is just another “spiritual keyword,” a nice way to say “thank you,” with the mind.
If a loved one passes away, your stage of grief will be fully transformed through “spiritual alchemy,” when there is a sense of gratitude in you. A loved one is gone into another journey. You are not lacking. That sense of grief was shown to you through that event. You are grief. Nothing wrong with that. However, you can transform it, that is; use the same energy to come up with something else: Acceptance, Gratitude.
When we are not aware of transformation of energies, we will only repress them to try to act tough, quasi-spiritual, disconnected, disinterested, etc.
Many individuals will experience grief, express it and keep it for as long as they can. They thrive in getting pity from others. It is a way for them to feel important as people may finally notice them. Others, may reject grief as they have been conditioned to believe that they have to show a happy face all the time.
Very few will transform it, and yet even fewer; will feel GRATITUDE out of that experience. Ultimately, there is FREEDOM in GRATITUDE.
A trauma or fear of Life comes when we have not reached a state of true acceptance, when we are continuously struggling with Life.
Our conditioning that we should fight for everything may work in the “office world,” but it will never work with Life.
The mind is our inner TV. It has so many images. Most times we believe in those images as “real” and add our own expectations, our own story of how life should be for “me.” When a setback is felt and grief comes in the horizon, that TV show will be the same repeat which in turn will bring more suffering to the ego, the “I.”
Why is that suffering?
Because my expectation of what Life should be for “me” does not fit reality. Ego cannot accept that. The repetition of the images is there so we don’t forget. It is a nagging reminder.
Anger, denial, etc. are expressions of the fighting ego.
EGO cannot have GRATITUDE, for ego always wants something else. Ego is in a state of lacking fulfillment.
That is why it is said that “time heals.” For the ego will look for something else in time to cover the previous trauma.
Self-observation is an invaluable tool for self-knowledge. For that to happen, we need to allow ourselves to feel the full range of an emotional experience. Life is always teaching us, showing us, who we truly are.
Until December 1st! Enjoy Life. 🙂
Many times some of us may wake up full of zest and ready for the day! However, as the day go by, that energy of joy will little by little go away… As a matter of fact, it is such a “normal” experience that we may not realize that this change may not be in us, but it is the environment affecting the way we feel in the day.
When that happens it is as if someone is driving a car to a destination, but in the way; the car starts veering to the left side little by little, and then to the right.
Those changes are our moods. If the car is unchecked, if the person driving the car is unaware, unconscious; then it is as if the car is driving itself.
An extreme case of this situation is known as bi-polar disorder.
In spirituality, the medicine for mood changing is called our attitude.
That attitude is like driving the car to a destination.
Rich is normally a joyful person. That joy becomes his trademark, that is his attitude. Things will happen. The environment around him could be totally charged with negativity, and he could pick that up as he is part of that environment, nevertheless; that attitude of joy, will take Rich through the day.
When a person is unaware of the energies coming from the environment, the above explanation will be about using “will power” to feel joyful throughout the day; that is this joy will be a “fight” to accomplish.
When a person becomes aware, conscious of the energies changing his own mood little by little; there is no “fight” going on, you just “switch” back to your previous self.
That is the importance of being aware.
If our minds are full of stuff, there is a likelihood that we will not pick up the “signals” right away, but when it is “too late,” that is when our thoughts have changed totally in a way that we believe to be “miserable.” 🙂
However, in all reality that energy of misery is something completely external. Not ours.
Attitude then becomes the source of strength to center ourselves, so the car goes to its destination. Attitude is a daily meal of awareness.
Our attitude will allow us to “survive” in whatever environment we could be.
But, what will allow us to fly like a spotted sandpiper over the Ocean of thoughts, and grow our energetic power to influence our environment?
Gratitude towards life.
Please, explore gratitude to life. This is not to say “Thank you.” This is a deep feeling where we are grateful to be alive and to experience life as it is.
In this feeling, we are not looking for changes, but it is acceptance of what is. It is the feeling of driving a car for the first time. We are grateful and excited to drive a car, that is ANY car… 🙂
Life will bring changes every day for those who are aware, that is a “different car to drive.”
Gratitude for that is very important.
But, to be able to drive to our destination, we may need to be aware of our attitude.
Gratitude and attitude are “keywords” that we cannot learn in the dictionary by giving a definition, but we learn in life through living life when we are conscious, awake, aware.
If we have been observing ourselves, sooner or later we will find out that our mood is constantly changing. Typically, we will remember the complete opposite sides of the spectrum; that is when we are elated, full of zest and enthusiasm; and then when we are depressed, when we feel down or with complete apathy of what is going on.
To be aware of that constant flux or change is to notice how nothing is lasting in life.
The disciple said: “My meditation was extraordinary.”
The Zen master responded: “It will go away.”
The disciple, after a couple of days said: “My meditation was awful today.”
The Zen master responded: “it will go away.”
The issue is when we do not notice this natural fluctuation and rather than center ourselves in the observation of life without judgment, we try to grab a particular moment in life, a particular feeling and posses it.
That will go away as well.
To just observe means to be aware. When we stop taking ourselves seriously, we can smile. 🙂
When we smile, life changes its color.
A rich, eloquent, nutritious smile can turn our own winter time in life into a fruitful Spring.
Any feeling that we feel, any sensation, any thought has its cusp and its bottom. In between there is movement, inevitable change. This is a fact in the world of duality.
Being aware of that, means to become free from the fleeting sensation while enjoying it.
Life is like eating a piece of strawberry cake: We can only enjoy the taste of it while eating it. That means that at the end of the experience, there will be no cake left.
Most, worry about finishing the piece of cake, thus; there is no enjoyment in the experience. Others will rush themselves into finishing the cake for the anticipation of a “better future.” Yet others, will practice apathy in front of the strawberry cake, saying: “it will go away. I’d better no get used to it.”
Please see how the Zen teaching: “it will go away,” could be easily misinterpreted.
Enjoyment, appreciation of the moment needs to be there. Our capacity for enjoyment of life will depend on our openness to life, our ability to experience the experience and to let it go.
This is not about thinking: “I’d better not enjoy the strawberry cake because it will be gone while I eat it and then I will miss it.” This creates apathy out of fear.
Taste the strawberry cake of life, enjoy it and be grateful of that experience…This creates gratitude in life.
When there is gratitude there is enthusiasm and with that vitality, strength… Then, a new human being is born.
“I have noticed the change in the naming of the site and the move away from the BK. Just a few observations/comments: 1. BK teachings is for the childhood phase of spirituality- I find that the teachings are subtle and keeps changing as and when we move to the next phase- To write it off as something that is meant for the childhood phase is a little premature. 2. Belief systems: They may seem ritualistic and have issues related to what if that belief system fails- I can say from personal experience that I lacked understanding of what was being communicated. If belief systems need to be questioned then even the words spoken in the Avayakt Murli’s need to be then re-visited- who is actually coming and speaking these murli’s etc.. the list goes on. How does one then use these support systems of the BK’s if there is no belief?”
Thank you for your very good questions!
One of the things that we should notice as well, is that every single question posted by readers, have been placed here and answered here at the same time.
Hopefully it was noticed that the realizations on Brahma Kumaris knowledge posted here, have benefited many Brahma Kumaris followers as they themselves have expressed that. Obviously, there will be others who do not feel the same. That is just life.
Finally, it is important to say that this blog has changed to reflect the changes in Avyakt7. There needs to be transparency and congruence. Avyakt7 is not here to make money, sell you something or to “self promote” (for what?) or to defend a particular belief system. Avyakt7 is sharing here for the “common good,” realizations and experiences in the spiritual path. The common good, dear reader; implies that divisions are out. This is BK, this is not BK..is out. “My religion is the truth” is out. There cannot be a sense of world family while at the same time we make any sort of divisions.
On your questions:
1. BK teachings is for the childhood phase of spirituality- I find that the teachings are subtle and keeps changing as and when we move to the next phase- To write it off as something that is meant for the childhood phase is a little premature.
I’d like to apologize if what I have mentioned as “Bk teachings is for the childhood stage of Spirituality” has been taken as “lower than” by many. I have acknowledged my deep appreciation and gratefulness to the BK path as well.
Which stage of human development is “greater”? Adulthood, childhood, teen, old?
The label of “childhood” denotes, the “beginning,” the phase where support from the Father is needed.
Many do not understand the role of BapDada as a Father to provide that needed support. Dear reader, God or the Divine has many “facets,” roles…We cannot define “God” by just a particular “role” that He is playing with particular human beings.
BapDada is the first one showing changes as time goes by.
Nevertheless, dear reader let me share this with you. A spiritual walker does not depend on any group to spiritually flourish. A spiritual walker, is not dependent on anything. However, without completing that stage of “childhood” in my experience, it would be very hard to go onto the next step.
In my experience, completing the childhood stage means to conquer “sex-lust,” and to have openness to life. To move on with gratitude and thanks to life for that invaluable experience of childhood. This is the difference between an Ex- follower and someone who is still walking spirituality.
2.Belief systems: They may seem ritualistic and have issues related to what if that belief system fails- I can say from personal experience that I lacked understanding of what was being communicated. If belief systems need to be questioned then even the words spoken in the Avayakt Murli’s need to be then re-visited- who is actually coming and speaking these murli’s etc.. the list goes on. How does one then use these support systems of the BK’s if there is no belief?
Dear reader, belief systems have the tendency to be ritualistic when in a religious context. However, a ritual is not what will make someone move to another step or level. As mentioned, a spiritual walker cannot depend on anything not even on rituals. If you depend on a ritual to “be good” and elevated, your change is not “real.” Hope you could see this point.
There is nothing which needs to be “revised” in the words of Avyakt BapDada. It is just that we need to understand his role, that is all. As mentioned in a previous article, when we realize about our own immortality, there is no need for a belief. However, when we do not have that realization, a belief system is that initial protection to grow, just like a planted seed, needs to be taken care of by the gardener until it grows. That is when a belief becomes necessary.
As a spiritual walker, you need to go through the changes in life and become stronger and vital so you can be “like the Father.” This does not mean “dependent on the Father.” Obviously, all of us, spiritual walkers; are in different stages.
Every person has to look at themselves with great honesty and see the call of time and their own destiny.
I appreciate your question and hope that this time, I have clarified those items that you mentioned.
Dear reader, wish you all the best in your particular path.
With deep gratitude for your role in life.
Brother just a short note to express heartfelt gratitude to you for continuing the blog in a new direction and also to the souls who convinced you to do so. It’s a bit hard to explain but the blog is automatically answering what this soul needs to know, in a manner that it can understand. Shall share details soon.
Thank you for your kind note, dear soul. Look forward to hearing the “details” of your story… 🙂