Tagged: guilt

The benefit of the doubt

Since we could observe that any perspective that we take towards Life has a consequence, and that any perspective is neither “right” nor “wrong,” then we could be open to acknowledge every perspective.

Moreover, if we support a particular view of Life we will be closed, biased towards the others.

What is the practical aspect of the above?

Robert gave some chocolates to Mary.
Mary said to him: “I cannot take those. I am on a diet.”
Robert thought: “ I wasn’t asking for her to eat the chocolates, but just to take them. I wanted to be friendly.”
Mary thought of the incident: “ I know that Robert wants something from me. I don’t want anything from him.”

Observe how the feelings in Mary and Robert will change towards each other. It will be another “brick on the wall,” in the way their perception of the “outside” will be perceived.

“Why give anything to people, if they are going to reject it.”
“ Don’t trust people. Don’t accept anything from them. Better dead than to ask for anything.”

That animosity created through misunderstandings, interpretations and even by unconsciously poking into someone’s hurtful triggers, collaborates into the feeling of heaviness, darkness which will color our perception of the world.

“The world is THIS and I am THAT.” An absolute response to the World, ready to turn into a dogmatic way of living.

“But… if we tend to interpret the world, how is it possible not to interpret it?”

That is not the point. It is not a matter of saying: “If you interpret the world under your own perspective that is bad and that will take you to hell.”

The point is to realize that “I am interpreting,” thus what comes out of my mouth or anyone’s without exception, is not the holy truth; but merely a perception.

That is known as the benefit of the doubt.

“Robert looks like he wants something from me, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt.”

That perspective of giving someone the benefit of the doubt in healing in itself.
Because we are trusting Life.

The way to stop the heaviness of that energy of suspicion and self-righteousness is by giving the benefit of the doubt.

In this way we could understand that to “have doubts” is not “bad,” it is not only a sign of insecurity or lack of faith, but its utility resides in using that energy with wisdom, according to time and circumstances.

All opposite energies have the same source. Different polarities is what we perceive.

Lost in the perception that “I am right,” we do not realize that “I am wrong” is part of the same energy. To experience one side, means to experience the other.

Labeling one side as “good” and the other as “bad,” means to set yourself up for feeling guilty, unworthy, unholy and all the opposite labels that we strived to “achieve” to become “better” or “spiritual.”

Isn’t that something to be aware of ? 🙂

The “truth” may be falsehood


Do you know the meaning of “truth”?
It is a concept. Something for the “I” to feel good about. A word that implies “righteousness.”
“ I am telling you the truth.” Rather than, “I am telling you what I perceive to be factual.”
“Christopher Columbus discovered America in 1492.” That is a historical fact. It is in every book. It is the “truth.”

The “fact” may be; Christopher Columbus did not “discover” anything. Many “Americans” living in America knew America at that time. Moreover, they did not call it America.

Christopher Columbus “discovered” America for “Europeans” (Notice how “I” artificially divide people) who did not know about America. We do not know if Columbus was in fact, the first one in the “new world;” but the “truth” can be manipulated in many ways.

Be aware of anyone who claims to have “the truth.”

A religious “leader” had an experience. His consciousness changed. Followers appeared because they wanted the same for them. Therefore, the answer must be, in following him.
That is the assumption.

Forget that everyone has different experiences.
Forget that consciousness is beyond the handling of an “I.”
The “I” trying to change itself to have the same qualities as the religious leader, is the fake trip of a second class actor who is unwilling to look at himself.

Following is the opposite of self-realization. Nevertheless, the paradox is that following may be necessary as a “tool” to experience for yourself . Therefore, to follow is not “bad.” Consciousness will change to another experience, by itself. Consciousness does not change through intellectual speculation.

When we forget about concepts such as searching for the “truth,” we may actually experience something useful without using a label to describe it, to tell others “I found it.”

Observe how existence is not depending on anyone. It “is.” However, when the “I” asks: “How did I get here?” The “I” is unable to see that it is separating from everything else at that moment, and by “creating” that separation, it needs to find a way to preserve itself for “everlasting life…”

“How did I get here?” just shows the type of consciousness someone has.

No “practice” of a particular action could change someone’s consciousness to make someone “better.”

What is “better”?
What “you” think it should be? What “others” have told you about? What you have learned in society?

Observe how we create the problem and the solution. Both are coming from the same consciousness.

Observation. Awareness.

If you are aware of your addiction, on how your addiction adds suffering to your life, at that point we could go deeper into discovering how that “I” comes into being. Observe it in action without adding any “moral” statements. Become aware of how your mind changes “its mood,” on how the “I” is looking for satisfaction because something else is lacking in your Life. That is the point: To discover.
Then you will realize about what is throwing you out of balance. At that point, healing happens. The sources to heal will appear. You have gone through the full path, the experience.

Without observation it may go something like this: “That addiction is bad. You will go to hell if you keep on doing it. You are bad. God will punish you. Ask for forgiveness. Whenever you feel the temptation to “do it,” fight against that. Don’t let the devil win. Look for support, people to help you. Ask the experts. Get some medicine. Do something….”
Guilt and shame will be added every time you “fail.” Worthlessness will be felt every time you are compared against a “success” story.

Observation. It is so “natural,” so “intuitive” but our beliefs, traditions, moral standards, etc. are “against that.”
We must learn what “teachers” tell us. We must “do” what is known to be traditional.
We must bear the weight of not being a “cookie cutter” entity.

Shall we react? Shall we get together and fight it? 🙂
No action is necessary. It is not about “doing.”
Observe, become aware, accept what for others is “normal,” appreciate it, open your consciousness to the enjoyment of being alive.

It is a game. Play it. Don’t take it seriously. Assimilated it. Smile, don’t hold on to the past so you are ready for the next experience…fresh, anew as if you just awaken from a long and deep sleep…

The Body-mind-spirit-soul connection


“I am a soul not a body.”
What about the mind?
What about the spirit?
Why some religions and philosophies spend so much of their beliefs in “conquering the mind” or “controlling the mind” if “I am not the mind”?

Words separate.
That is perhaps one of the most important realizations to go beyond the “head” and into the feeling of living Life.

Every word has an opposite.
That is how duality is created in our communication.

Now, that we could see this handicap inherent in the way we “think” (for words are needed to express thoughts) then we could see how plain stupid is the idea of “defining” God, “defining” who I am, “defining” Life, etc.

Do we see that we are using words to express in duality that which is not possible to express through duality?

Do we see how thinking alone cannot bring a different state of consciousness, other than the perception of separation?

Living life in joy is not concerned in the most minimum in defining or conceptualizing Life.
Do not define yourself to be able to change, to flow, to live.

The unity of the body, mind, spirit, soul is artificially divided through thought; when in “reality” it is unity which no label or definition could touch.

Do we see that?

Moreover; the unity of body, mind, spirit, soul is ONE with everything else, for it cannot exist all by itself. Totality.

Do we see that?

Let me put it in another way.
Any thought is doomed to separate what otherwise is not. That is why any “intellectual” cannot “walk his talk” in “spirituality.”

“ Me and God alone.”
That phrase is full of separation. Full of “I.”

Let me put it in yet another way…. 🙂
Thinking and its entire family of beliefs, judgments, assumptions, analysis, logic and reasoning are not the “tools” to live Life in Joy.

I could hear a “black or white” follower saying:
“ Thoughts are bad then. We must make effort not to think.”

That is a gross misinterpretation just as to believe that by denying ourselves from Life’s pleasures and becoming an ascetic or a “renunciate” we could be “better.”
Thoughts are extraordinary tools to live Life in the “office world.”
Integration rather than rejection.

Life’s pleasures are part of the whole experience of living.

Separating pleasure from pain, we have created a duality. Choosing one over the other, we have created an illusion.
There is no separation between pleasure and pain for the experience of one, necessarily leads to the experience of the other.
Just like the experience of hot and cold, light and darkness, good and bad…

Want to feel guilty? Want to ask God for forgiveness?
Make that separation. That is all it takes.

Everything is all right as it is


Many individuals do not understand or bother about this thing called “spirituality” because of all the “beliefs and out of the world experiences of some which were dogmatically taken as the only way which God communicates to humanity to redeem human kind from their sins.”
Why bother with God?
Because that label expresses the “Big Boss” of all bosses. The “guy” up above all. The one and only one… The God.

Caught up in an anthropomorphic belief; God becomes the extension of a paranormal dream of something “better” than “this.”

Once a person lost in that dream of wonderful experiences, which only supports their belief of knowing “a superior being,” decides to stop worshiping, to stop praying for little favors and to stop carrying the consciousness of a needy child looking for “his Father;” then at that point, that person may discover 2 wonderful things:
1) “I am”
2) That which is not “me” is.
That is all.

No religious beliefs required.
It is from that point where “depth” could arise.
First, we perceive the separation between that who “I am “ and that which “is not me.” In easy terms, Life and Me.

It is the strength of that consciousness of “Me” which creates the depth of separation and all different religions and beliefs there are.

When we understand the above, we could have the interest in knowing that which is called “Me.”

That is the beginning of self-realization.

That journey may have different turns. It is not the same for all individuals. It is a personal journey.
Does it mean that we shouldn’t join a religion or philosophical system because of their “one size fits all” approach?
To know means to experience. One thing is to merely accept what Ananda is saying. A different thing is to accept it based on your own experience.

That is the difference between “blind faith” and inner honesty.

Let me put it in another way.
The other day I was sharing some realizations with a friend of mine. The talk about “Armageddon, destruction, the end of the world,” etc. came up. Another person there added further material to that talk. She believed in UFOs, Life beyond the Earth and she implied that the “best way to get all of the people on Earth together, was to fight against a common enemy.” Those are the ET invaders, of course.

All of these beliefs can get out of hand. The mind can come up with wonderful things.
The fear of death and annihilation pursues most people nowadays. A belief to be “saved” has to be there for their personal comfort. That anxiety and sense of feeling unsecure hunts people down day and night.

All of those beliefs are not “bad” but part of the changing experience.
It does not matter what will happen in the “future.” The only thing that matters is how I feel “now.” “NOW” is the converging point of Life.

I cannot pretend to live life in joy while having fears, guilt and preoccupation. I cannot enjoy Life to the fullest “now” thinking that something “better” or “worse” is in the horizon. That is how panic arises, which is fear.

Is Ananda denying the possibility that God may punish him or that world destruction may arrive without him having asked for forgiveness and of being trapped in hell forever and ever and even worse… missing Paradise for eternity?


Because of the experience of “my own” changing eternity. That is all.

The above may be a belief for someone else. That belief by itself, does not bring inner peace of knowing that things are all right as they are… unless there is experience.

When I told my friend, “things are alright as they are.” He replied: “ But… we have to do something to stop the madness of destruction. We have to co-create. I don’t see how that saying of “doing nothing doing to get things done,” could apply here. We need to do something…”

I told him: “You are being honest with yourself. If that is what you feel in your core. Do it.”

Obviously two different states of consciousness. None is better than the other. I understand him, because I recognize that consciousness from before.
Shall I tell him that “I have the truth” or “my consciousness is better than yours”?
That is silly. His consciousness will change and so… mine. Different timing.
The world will change and so “I.”

Isn’t it silly to try to stop or to reject that which naturally is meant to change by itself?

Doesn’t destruction bring automatic creation afterwards? Doesn’t a state of great ego bring an automatic lack of it when suffering is overwhelming due to that ego?
Do we see the game?

That is Ok. Someday we will. 🙂

The eternal traveler keeps observing different scenes in Life. If he gets trapped on those, he will suffer. That is how the teaching: “I should not be attached” came into being.

That teaching is not well understood and not well explained.
Being trapped is not a function of “willing.” It is a function of “being.”
Being what?
Some people call that a “free spirit.” I call it, someone who enjoys the moment, Life.

Love: The Totality version


“love is a deeper season
than reason;
my sweet one”
Edward E. Cummings

Many things that we label under the word “love.”
A poet may find that this “thing” which we call love is beyond reason, beyond thought.
It is the “I” confronted with a greater power than reason. Nevertheless, even in the face of this “proof,” we still rely on reason to run our lives. It is through experiencing that love and the way that it manifests, how we could find that “I” hidden underneath.

It is that “I” who feels elated when his love is retributed and the same “I” who feels in despair when it is not. It is the same “I” who will take things for granted when the love “wears off,” and the same “I” who will feel sorrow when that love goes away.
Without a doubt to learn about that type of love, is to learn about the “I.”
That “I” is always seeking for something. Love becomes that thing which is completely out of the “I” control and that becomes a powerful attraction for that “I.”
At the end, the story will be about adding other elements to that “love” such as forgiveness, guilt, remorse, passion, hate, confrontation, etc. All sorts of emotions, which appear due to a belief… and that belief will bring other emotions.

That my friends, is the love of the “I.”

A master once said: “ Life gives you 50% of the whole for you to become complete. The other 50% percent will be provided by life to complement the complete 50%. There is coffee and there is milk coming together to make something greater than themselves. Love does not need a receiver.”

When there is love without that “I,” then the giver is also the receiver. The giver is the receiver in the Totality of it.
At that point, love becomes that attitude of freedom to give without a specific receiver. When we understand that connection with the whole, love is that intention without expectations.

Our intentions, our feelings, our actions whatever we “think” we do onto “others,” we do it to ourselves.
That is to understand that “we” are that Totality.

Human affection could be expressed in different ways. There is no limit…but the limit becomes our own beliefs. As we label every relationship, we also determine that relationship.

“But she is the only one… I have not felt so intense in my life with another person.”

To discover our own intensity is great, but it is not reduced to a particular person. I could feel very intensely with one person, but that does not mean that it cannot happen again with someone else. Every relationship offers something to know about ourselves, the “I.”

As many of us do not spend the time or resources to become complete with the 50% that life has given us to play with, rather than finding a complement with others to make that tasty “milk and coffee,” we look for another person to complete ourselves.

That is the issue. We want for someone else to do the job that we couldn’t finish.

To “merge in love” is not just a pretty word. It is to empty yourself to be one with that Totality, for in that oneness there is completeness. Then life, may show us the other 50% to complement that completeness.. to make something greater than the “self.”

Love then is the universal path to self discovery and its own reward.

The guilt of the sinner is the repression of the saint


The “I” is the issue to comprehend, to understand, to experience.

When a religion or a philosophy is based on giving life to that “I,” we will experience many inconsistencies, many contradictions.

The consciousness of an “I” is like a wall in between life.
When that wall becomes strong as a brick, then the force to dissolve it, will be equally strong.

The struggle to keep that “I” alive is observed in different belief systems.

For example, we may “know” that everything is eternal, but then we are afraid of the “end of the world.” We need to observe that intellectual information is of no use when the “I” is only striving to keep itself alive.

Unless our consciousness changes through an experience of life, then our head will be full with information.

That information could be worshipped; it could take a particular form as to give us the impression that we are safe, that the “I” has obtained life insurance for the afterlife.

The issue is not the “afterlife.” It is now.

It will take lots of courage to “re-set” our minds from beliefs and traditions deemed “good” that we have learned.

It will take lots of courage to accept a life of living just to experience that “I.”

Ego is a word which denotes the answer for every question. Why is there suffering? Because of the “I.” Why is there war, famine, beliefs, taboos, separation, etc.?
Because of that “I.”

Knowing that intellectually, does not “do” a thing. It is all theory until we are willing to explore it inside ourselves, observe it without rejection.

At that point, we have gone beyond the child “spiritual state of consciousness” of blaming things on the Devil, God, Maya and everything else, without looking at that “I.”

Fear is used as a mechanism to trap someone into a particular experience. Sometimes, we do that to ourselves.

We could label the energy of fear as “bad” something which is not “good,” something to reject… however, as my friend Mathias said: “ a brave man is not the one who does not feel fear, but the one who knows how to transform that energy into strength.”
When we realize about transformation of energies, how could we deny or oppose something which is happening in us?

How could we feel guilty of that experience? Trapped in the “black or white” mentality we get trapped into the duality of the “sinner and the saint.”

The child mentality wants to be a “saint” and rejects the sinner in him. It is that rejection, that fear of being a sinner, the force which will keep that sinner alive and guilt will be the shadow on that journey.

All of our fears only strengthen that thing which we fear. When there is no rejection, then we are back into being one… The one who transforms himself.

The experience of Joy in life


Everyone will agree about the importance of living with Joy… There is no problem in that…however, not everyone will understand joy in the same way.

For some Joy is “not bothering about anything” 🙂 Believe it or not, that is the meaning that some may have in their heads about Joy. To be joyful is to be careless… or with a pretty word: “care-free…”

For others it is about “entertainment.” To get our minds busy in something that will make us laugh and smile.

For others it is about getting into activities that will bring pleasure and elation.

The mind is always in between.

The mind interprets. Joy is not an interpretation.
The mind gets stuck into “right or wrong” actions due to that interpretation. The mind is looking to become something important, something special in the future.

That could be called ego and that is in the mind.

For some, the greatest pleasure or high is found in sex. For these individuals “Sex is mental.” 🙂

The mind worries, the mind assumes, the mind interprets, the mind longs for something, the mind is busy….

The mind could hurt us physically and emotionally. We typically do that unconsciously. A thought appears. The mind interprets. The mind sees the difference. The mind wants to obtain.

Some may hurt themselves trying to obtain a flawless body.
Some may hurt themselves by feeling guilt and shame when the result of their expectations is not obtained.

Paul: “But we have to do something in this life, we cannot just enjoy it…”

Do something. Achieve something. Once you do that, do it again… just change the flavor, would you?

That is the trance of a repetitive mind. That is the mind who is always looking for fulfillment and cannot obtain it.

“Doing” is part of living. “Doing” with an expectation is a disease.

Paul: ” Do you want to go to heaven?”
These are the “good” things that you have to do to get there….

“Just doing it” is to miss the seed of an action, that is our intention.

Paul could become an ascetic and “do everything for others” but, if Paul’s mind is expecting something in return that is the greatest way to build up his ego….his mind.

Paul is expecting for a thank you. Paul is expecting for recognition. Paul is expecting to go to heaven… Same thing.

The mind keeps its longing for presence, that is to be “someone” to affirm its importance, its value.

That is the mirage.

Joy cannot happen when the mind is busy, becoming something, fighting for something, expecting something to happen or when having fear that something will not happen.

If God does not accept you for the way you are and has the aim to “make you better” that will create an expectation and fear in us, undoubtedly.
Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not reaching the expectation.
While living in that fear, there cannot be love to God or to anyone.

Any type of fear takes away our joy.

Being in Joy is a state when there is acceptance of life.

Paul: “But you need to improve. You need to become better…”

Here we go again… “Being” does not require improvement. We just need to let it happen… to let it be.

A child enjoys life until he learns about “improving” himself. That joy goes away.
Let that “improvement” come automatically as a growth in consciousness by acceptance of life but not as “having to do something.”
That is openness.

That type of “improvement” does not come by “doing something.”

The mind needs to be clear, pristine…. Pure.
Purity is not attained by “not doing” something. Purity is in being what we already are… but we cannot let that happen… because we are afraid. Then the mind will be in between.

As long as there is fear of any kind, there cannot be purity.

To clear our minds from beliefs, hang ups, taboos, constraints and expectations is to dissolve that mind which interferes by interpreting life rather than by allowing a complete and direct experience.

Are we afraid of that?

Then we cannot know what joy is.