Thank you for your very good and honest question.
What you are experiencing most people do, without realizing it. It is either living in the “pain” of the past or the “anxiety” of the future.
As you know, whatever we experience is part of “settling karmic accounts,” however, we should continue to try new methods to find the “cure,” which as we know, will come when the time is right. 🙂
My suggestion based on what have worked for me is to find a nice spot in nature and put all your senses on the experience of Nature. Your mind will need to be quiet for that. You will be sitting still, letting Nature “be in you.” Every time you are in Nature (which I sincerely hope you will do it regularly) make a point on listening to 4 different Nature sounds every time. Through this practice you will feel what is like to be “thought free,” but in a state of “appreciation.” Then, “pure feelings” should emerge when in awe around such beauty. That is to live in the present surrounded and being that beauty. Once that feeling is recognized, you can bring it with you at any place and in that way “cut” the “devilish thoughts” with your own feelings of beauty.
Another practice that I would recommend, is to go for a walk after Amrit Vela for at least 15 minutes and “observe” the self producing thoughts. Catch yourself doing that and just be aware and say to yourself, “that is just an illusion.” Continue enjoying your walk and being aware of those thoughts coming up. This practice will allow you to “catch” the thoughts during your normal day and prevent that “pain” from taking root. In Baba’s vocabulary that is “catching Maya from a distance.”
Finally, I strongly suggest that you read Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The power of now.” He calls that pain from the past, the “Pain-body.” It is in page 27. Here is the link to the free pdf.
I have found this book to be invaluable to understand Baba’s practical gyan from yet another perspective.